


Camp Destiel

by Hatsonhamburgers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Bi-Curious Dean Winchester, Blow Jobs, Destiel - Freeform, Emotionally Repressed Castiel, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Public Masturbation, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, as the smut ensues, blow job in the woods, camp counselors, creative ways of getting off in communal living, dean is a softe baby, is that public?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 06:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 73,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/pseuds/Hatsonhamburgers
Summary: Castiel Novak has spent his whole life making his parents happy.  When he discovers his passion is painting, much to the dismay of his parents, he drops out of college and tries to figure out his next move.  His sister has a suggestion- come work at the summer camp she and Gabriel had spent many summers at- as the arts and crafts director.  He agrees, if just to get away from his parents demands, an finds himself in a very different world.  Hiking, horses, tons of kids?  How will he survive?Dean Winchester, a sort-of ex of his sister and Camp Cedar Hills guru, has seemed to take an (professional?) interest in him. It could be just the thing he needs to help him figure out his life.  Except for the fact that Castiel absolutely fucking hates him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pinkmink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkmink/gifts).



> Ah, summer camp. My daughter's girl scout troop is going to camp later this summer at the camp I grew up going to. I'm ridiculously excited. It isn't decent. I changed the name of the camp*, but then got too lazy and didn't change any of the names of the units or geography. Let me know if you went to this camp so we can laugh about how awesome this camp was!! 
> 
>  
> 
> *Please don't judge the Girl Scouts of America based on this smut I wrote. ;)

Dean sneezed loudly as dust rose from the flapping canvas as he and Sam opened the last tent for airing out. It was still two weeks until camp started, and there was so much to be done. Jody had been a whirlwind of orders, texting what seemed like every 5 minutes with another item for the ever-expanding to-do list. Dean and Sam were keeping up though, not afraid of a little hard work.

“Bless you,” Sam said absently, looking with squinted eyes at the beam holding up the canvas roof of the large platform tent. “You think those are bats?”

Dean glanced up to where Sam was looking and chuckled, moving back to secure the tent flaps open. “Yep, leave ‘em. They eat the mosquitoes. Besides, they were here before we were, they have squatter’s rights.”

Sam snorted and picked up the broom, his floppy long hair falling in his face as he began to sweep the dirt and leaves that had accumulated over the winter as the camp lay dormant. Dean busied himself with checking the thin cot mattresses for signs of mildew or rot. The creaky metal springs of the cot near the door squealed as Sam flopped down, huffing out a long breath.

“You know who’s gonna be in the first group this year?” he asked Dean a little too casually.

Dean grinned. “Why? You waiting to see someone in particular?”

Sam scowled. “No, just curious who the other CIT’s are going to be.”

Dean chuckled in response and continued to flip mattresses. He knew for a fact Jess was coming that year, but he’d rather see the goofy way Sammy would light up with surprise when she arrived that Sunday. He planned to get a few embarrassing pics for their folks and weeks of teasing Sam and his crush. It was his right as an older brother.

Dean’s phone pinged another text from Sam’s pocket. He sat up and pulled out the phone, tossing it to Dean. Jody again. Dean sighed and headed out into the humid summer afternoon, waving away a small cloud of gnats from his face. He could already tell the summer would be brutal in Sioux Falls. Hot, humid days, and chilly nights. It was perfect for snuggling down into a sleeping bag at night, but a pain in the ass to get up to pee. And coaxing the campers out of bed at 7 am to get ready for breakfast was a nightmare.

Dean stood and surveyed Beech Tree Bend. They had swept and inspected the tents for any repairs needed, cleaned out the unit house, made sure the in-camp ancient land line was operational, cleaned out the latrines and the mostly unused unit shower house (cold water only, so they used the main one near the pool down the road), checked for black widows and brown recluses and snakes (putting mothballs in various places kept the rodents and therefore the snakes away), looked for signs of bear activity (hadn’t been any in a decade, but hey, you had to make sure), raked the leaves from the paths, and cleaned out the fire pit. He walked the length of the boardwalk that connected all 6 tent platforms to the tiny tin-roofed cabin that the unit counselors stayed in and retrieved his cigarettes. He wasn’t supposed to smoke in the units, of course, but the kids weren’t there yet, and he needed a break. He grabbed a bottle of water for himself and Sam, making a mental note to get steel water bottles from Walmart the next time he went into town so they could cut down on the disposable ones. The water from the tap was freezing cold and delicious, coming from the wells on the property. He tossed a bottle to Sammy, who was still laid out on the cot, and went back to sit on the steps of the cabin, wondering if it would be where he would stay for the rest of the summer.

Beech Tree Bend was at the end of a long gravel road that led back to main camp. It was tucked back in a valley between two tall, steep hills, thick with trees, under the shade of a grove of very old and large beech trees. The bark of the beech tree is exceptionally smooth and ideal for carving, so high in the trees were the names of campers long past, the names spreading over time and becoming nearly unreadable. There were a few scattered stumps that were what remained of the trees that had been damaged by the carving until they had fallen to rot and disease. The most recent carving was from 1982, so the rest of the trees remained untouched from Dean’s height down. He remembered his first year at camp when he was eight and getting the lecture about the trees before being allowed to set up in his tent. He himself carried on that tradition with every new group of campers that came to Camp Cedar Hills every summer. It did the job and the kids always liked to run around reading the names and dates in awe, not believing how _long ago_ 1975 was.

Dean carefully extinguished his cigarette in the dirt and pocketed the butt. He stood and stretched, calling to Sam and heading back over to the camp work truck parked by the unit house. He peeked in the door of the rectangular house (it was more like an screen enclosed pavilion with a fireplace at one end) and made sure one last time the phone was working and the fire extinguisher was in place before letting the flimsy door slam shut behind him. The sound punctuated the quiet air in the small grove, and Dean was hit with a wave of nostalgia. This was his 15th year at camp, and his fifth as staff. It was his home away from home, and he smiled broadly to himself as Sam joined him in the truck, slamming the doors and starting the grumbling engine. Sam cracked a smile when he saw his brother’s face. It was going to be a great summer.

They drove the long gravel road back to main camp, crossing the small creek three times where it flowed over the road. It was shallow enough that it was easily crossed on foot, as long as it didn’t flood. It was a 4 minute drive and a 15 minute walk, coming out at the pool’s shower house on the right and the infirmary on the left. Donna’s red truck was parked there, and she appeared as they pulled up and hopped out to help her unload crates of first-aid supplies. She wiped her forehead and smiled, taking a drink of water and sighing.

“Oh boys, I’m glad you’re here. I got most of the stuff into the closets, but the AC unit doesn’t seem to be working, so I’m about to melt! Could ya take a look at it?” Donna’s thick midwestern accent was exaggerated when she was tired. Dean nodded and headed inside and left Sam to help her bring in the rest of the supplies. The Infirmary was one of the only air-conditioned buildings on the property, and rightfully so- heat exhaustion was a problem if the kids didn’t stay properly hydrated, and it seemed the summers gotten hotter every year. Hot enough to cancel activities for some days and reroute everyone to the pool or the creek in Julie’s Hollow. Dean lamented climate change as he checked the breakers and tried the window unit air conditioners. He saw that the fridge was on the same breaker and had Sam come help him move the unit across to another window so it wouldn’t keep tripping the breaker. 

Dean checked his phone and groaned and stretched his back. Supper was in 15 minutes and he was starving. It wasn’t as if he and Sam weren’t used to hard work; Bobby and Rufus kept them plenty busy at the salvage yard. But the _heat._ He shuddered to think what it’d be like in August.

Donna rode up to the dining hall/Big Red Barn with Dean and Sam, riding shotgun in the old ‘88 Ford putting Sam in the bed. There probably had never been working AC in the vehicle, but it got them where they needed to go, and did the work they needed done. It usually remained parked during camp sessions except for taking luggage to the units on the first day, and bringing it back on the last. 

Each camp session started on Sunday afternoon- the cars would start rolling up the drive at 2 pm- and the campers went home the following Friday morning. Most kids only signed up for one week of the summer- unless their parents could afford to send them all summer. These kids felt either lucky or not: some loved camp and wanted to be there always, and some hated it and suffered through it simply because their parents couldn’t have them around all summer. 

Dean and Sam had been the former when they were younger. With Dad’s job keeping him on the road, their care fell on Bobby and Rufus (Bobby had been in the Marines with John Winchester) and they would scrape together enough money to send them to camp all summer. It helped that Jody, the camp director, had grown up with Bobby and Rufus and always cut them a great deal, provided the boys come early to get ready for the summer, and stayed weekends to clean and help with repairs. The brothers had always considered themselves lucky- Camp Cedar Hills was their second home, and Dean had dreams of one day taking over for Jody and being there year-round. 

The giant red barn that stood in the center of the 11,000+ acre property was original to the horse farm that was there in the 1940’s, but it had been well maintained and updated over the years. The downstairs dining hall had a polished concrete floor broken up by wooden posts every twelve feet. The tables and benches were still pushed to the side and stacked. There was no air conditioning in the Red Barn, but there were plenty of ceiling fans blowing around the stale air. Upstairs, the loft, was a room the length of a basketball court with high ceilings. A stage was at one end of the room, complete with lighting and sound for the theater kids coming second session. A tubular slide was attached to the side of the room, a fire escape of sorts, and was always the first thing Dean would run to on the first day of camp as a kid. It shot you out onto the side lawn, right next to the entrance to the offices. The barn was complete with a tall white grain silo out back- it completed the picturesque post card touch that got the camp business. Little did the parents know that it was actually a friggin’ lightening magnet- during storms, no one was allowed out the back of the barn. Meg, the Equine Director’s daughter, had actually been struck twice in her life. The second time, she had needed CPR. Storms were a big deal at camp; the bowl-shape of the land seemed to draw them in. 

When Dean walked into the barn he was hit by the familiar cafeteria smell- canned corn and bleach- and followed Donna to the kitchen to see what they had to eat. 

“Hey guys!” Jody greeted them as they pushed through the swinging doors, “special treat tonight since y’all been working so hard.” She motioned to the stack of pizzas and the case of beer on the table in front of her. Donna cheered and Sam dove into the pizza boxes. Dean smiled and took the cold beer Jody handed him. 

“You guys get the boy’s units all done?” Jody asked, flipping through a stack of papers attached to her ever-present clipboard.

“Yup,” Dean said, reaching for a meat lover’s slice, “everything looks pretty good- the spiders finally died off at Hogan’s Hollow I guess.”

Jody nodded. “Well, if there’re any left, the kids will scare them off when they get here. How about Whispering Oaks?”

“The new cabins look real nice, but I tell you what,” Dean mumbled around his pizza, “with those trees gone, the sun’s gonna beat down like a son of a bitch.”

Jody sighed. “Yeah, I figured as much. We’ll just have to keep an eye on those kids and let them have rest period down here.”

Dean hummed in agreement. Whispering Oaks had been one of the only remaining tent units at camp. There was a huge ice storm the prior winter and a lot of the very mature oaks, for which the unit was named, had split when the rain soaked them all day, then froze solid at night. The expanding water practically exploded the limbs. It had affected most of the camp, but it was the worst there. The trees had destroyed the platform tents, and finding replacements was too expensive. The had settled on building tiny 4-person cabins with two sets of bunk beds. The problem was that they stood directly in the sun. 

It would be fine though; the kids spent most of their time on the main camp doing various activities, only going to the units for an hour after lunch for rest time. They got their mail then and could hang out, take a nap, or write letters home. It was an important reprieve from an action-packed day. Then they wouldn’t return until the sun was starting to set. 

Dean tuned back in on Sam’s conversation with Donna.

“So, you know,” Sam said casually, “I just wanted to know who was coming so I, uh, could be prepared.”

Donna lifted an eyebrow and giggled. “Sam Winchester, you have someone you’re waiting for? You know I can’t tell you who’s on the list-”

“But I’m staff now!” he whined.

Dean snorted. “Not so fast, you still got a year before you get to claim that title. No peeking at the CIT list until Sunday.”

Donna winked at Dean, always in on the joke. 

Sam grumbled under his breath and grabbed his fourth piece of pizza. The kid was growing so fast that he’d shot up past Dean that year, gaining an inch on his older brother. Rufus complained often about Sam eating them out of house and home. It was a good thing they’d be gone all summer. Rufus could get some much needed time with his husband and just cook for two without the boys there. 

They ended up taking the beers to the back porch of Jam Hall, the counselors break house. It was the one legitimate smoking spot at camp, and Dean wanted to really relax before heading all the way back to Beech Tree Bend for bed. Sam waved goodnight with his flashlight and headed off across the field through Pine Hill to take a shortcut to the shower house. The sun was going down, but Sam knew the camp so well he could have found the tent in the dark- so Dean didn’t worry. 

When the beers were gone and the conversation lulled, Donna and Jody said their farewells and headed to the Cabana cabin by the pool where the director and assistant director stayed all summer. Another one of the only places at camp with AC. Dean chuckled to himself. He’d rather rough it without cool air all summer- switching back and forth all summer gave him headaches. Besides, if you got used to the cool, the hot only seemed so much hotter.

Dean checked his phone for his to-do list one more time. Tomorrow he’d go check out the canoe equipment and see if they needed to replace anything. Cedar Creek would need to be checked for strainers and fallen rocks, so he and Sam would get to canoe sometime during the day. Then they needed to cross camp, through the horse fields, across the swinging bridge over the lower part of the large creek that wound around the property, and up the cliffs to the Tree House unit where the older girls stayed. Beyond were the rappelling cliffs and the high and low ropes courses. Dean himself had built the high ropes a few years ago, and was happy to see it had survived the ice storm. He supposed they could take the truck the long way around, but that included leaving camp and going up the highway to the back side of the property. It actually took longer than going on foot. He’d see if Meg would want to go with them- the poor kid needed to get out of the house (they lived there year round- the Equine program was somewhat separate for the actual camp) and Sam and her had become friends over the past couple of years. She was kind of weird, but so was her dad, Lucas. They never spent much time at the main camp, so it really didn’t matter.

Dean made sure he was really alone before he pulled a rolled joint out of his backpack and lit it up. The sun slowly slipped down behind the hills where Tree House was, and the sky turned colors as he slowly got stoned in the humid evening. It was kind of a last hurrah before the kids got there- there wasn’t much time for recreation once the camp came alive for the summer. 

For now though, it was quiet, and Dean decided to head to bed, taking the truck to the shower house. He left it parked at the infirmary and crossed the road to the long low building that held the boy’s showers. Sam had left the light on for him, so there were plenty of moths and beetles dancing around the door to the staff side. He slipped in, feeling pleasantly buzzed as he turned on the water and stripped. He thought it might also be the last opportunity to jerk off in private, so he might as well have a last hurrah for that as well. He ran his fingertips lightly over his soft dick in anticipation, calling it to attention. It was a bit sluggish (beer and pot, of course), but as he stood under the hot water, groaning at the dual sensations, it filled quickly. He squirted some conditioner in his palm (he didn’t actually use conditioner, but kept it there for the sole purpose of quiet shower masturbation) and lathered it over his cock. His mind was rolling around, not able to settle on an image quite yet, so he closed his eyes and leaned on the shower wall, moving his hand slowly, teasing the slit and twisting on the upstroke. Boobs, ass, long legs flashed through his mind’s eye, not belonging to anyone in particular. He laughed, feeling a little too stoned to care. He loved the summers and was just so damn happy to be there. He started humming _Summertime_ by Sublime, and soon was belting out lyrics while speeding up his hand. It was cool, he was alone, so emboldened by this thought, he took his other hand and reached down between his balls to his back entrance, pressing firmly, causing the flesh to twitch and him to gasp and stutter out “run to the rhythm, it gets harder.” He ceased his singing and fucked into his hand, pushing himself against his middle and forefinger- not quite breaching his hole, he’d not quite gotten there yet- and hissing when his orgasm hit suddenly, squeezing out in waves, spurting onto the shower wall and down the drain. He sagged against the wall, minding the come, and breathed deeply. His head spun for a moment as he waited for the blood to flow back to his extremities. 

Dean tied his boots and slung his backpack on, checking his jean pocket for his flashlight once more. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the dark, but trying to cross the creek three times by foot in the dark while stoned would end up with him getting soaked. It wasn’t deep, but there probably were snakes. He headed down the road to Beech Tree and clicked on his flashlight as the canopy bagan to block out the light. The trees were so thick that he no longer could see the stars. Soon he could crash and get some deep sleep, a short reprieve before another day of hard work.

 

********

The week sped by, and all the chores were done and the facilities were prepped and ready. Ropes and rappelling, canoeing, the pool, the arts and crafts barn, archery, the horses, the theater, the main campfire, singing tree, the flag pole, and all of the units. The boy’s units: Whispering Oaks, Beech Tree Bend, Hogan’s Hollow, and the girl’s units: Forest Isle, Hilltop, and Tree House. The very young campers stayed in the Pine Hill 1 and 2 cabins on the main camp. 

Dean looked over the list of staff for Sam’s name. Each unit would have a leader and a counselor (they stayed with the campers at all times), an activities staff (like Dean who worked ropes but slept in BTB), and a CIT. Sam had been placed at Hogan with Benny as the unit leader and Andy as his unit counselor. Victor, the head lifeguard was staying there too, since it was near the pool. 

Dean recognized most of the names on the list. There were a few new ones, probably freshly graduated seniors working before leaving for college in the fall. Those were usually unit counselors, and they barely seemed older than Sam’s group of CIT’s. He ran his finger down the list, smiling when he saw Anna’s name. She was an alright girl- they’d been friends for a few years, and she was sometimes left at camp all summer too. They had messed around the year before- nothing serious- but they had left on good terms and it would be nice to see her. 

He frowned. _Castiel Novak?_ He didn’t recognize that name. Well, Novak implied he was related to Anna and Gabe, maybe the older brother she had mentioned but Dean had never met. Their family was a little odd. There were more siblings, but Anna and Gabriel had been the only ones ever interested in summer camp. She had a sister who spent the summer in France or something. Maybe Castiel was slumming it this year. Gabriel was running BTB that summer as lead. Dean groaned. He liked the guy, but he could be kind of a prick sometimes. And the pranks. Too over the top. The other names for BTB were Balthazar, a British dude the girls swooned over, and a kid named Adam. WO would have Zach and Michael, just like the last two years, and that was just fine. Jody must have put them together again because literally no one else could stand them. Poor Castiel. He’d have to put up with them. The CIT was listed as Kevin- Dean didn’t know him. He wondered what Castiel specialized in. The arts and crafts director had left for graduate school last year, so he assumed that what the new guy would fill in as. 

Dean shoved the list in his back pocket as the staff cars began to roll down the driveway. He busied himself with Jody’s clipboard, trying not to look like he was getting excited about them showing up. It was all he could do not to jump up and down when he saw Benny’s pickup ramble down the drive. They never saw each other during the year, so it was kind of a big deal. 

Benny grabbed Dean in a bear hug and they thumped each other on the backs and laughed, greeting the other staff as they parked. A car Dean didn’t recognize came rolling by. It was long lean pimp-mobile, gold and audacious. He watched as it parked and the passenger side door popped open and a red-haired torpedo came flying his direction. 

“Charlie!” Dean exclaimed, knocked back by the force of her enthusiasm.

“Dean!” she stepped back and grabbed Benny equally hard and he picked her up easily and swung her around. Dean glanced back at the gold Lincoln. 

Anna was standing by the open driver’s side door, arguing with the still unseen driver. She was waving her hands and looked annoyed. Dean watched in interest as she reached in and pulled a man out wearing an almost blinding white oxford shirt and dark blue jeans. The guy had to be sweltering. He wore a scowl on his tan face, beneath a shock of messy black hair. Even from the distance he was, Dean could see the man’s blue eyes. He was muttering low to Anna, and suddenly looked up, straight at Dean, his scowl deepening. Dean’s eyebrows shot up.

“That’s Anna’s brother, Castiel,” Charlie said, causing Dean to jump. “He’s less than enthused to be here, not really his thing.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Dean watched as Anna stomped her foot and spun, a smile lighting up her face as she spotted Dean and Benny, and skipped over to them.

Dean picked her up with a hug, spying Castiel over her shoulder, pulling duffel bags from the trunk with his scowl still firmly in place. He was pretty good-looking, a strong jaw, dusted by stubble, thick pink lips, and eyes that-

Dean cut his thoughts off. No need to oggle Anna’s brother when he had an arm full of the redhead, her body tight against his. He turned his attention to her as she pulled back. 

“How ya’ been, Anna? Staying out of trouble?”

“You could say that…” Anna held up her left hand showing off an enormous diamond ring. Dean’s stomach sunk. So much for a sure thing that summer. 

“Congratulations!” he said, forcing a smile, “Who’s the lucky guy?” 

“His name’s Bart, our dads have been friends forever. He popped the question just last week! This is my last camp year, then we get married and head off to Paris. He has a villa there. It’s going to be so awesome!”

Dean tuned her out about halfway through. It’s not that he didn’t care, or that he held out any hope that there would be something more between them than the romp in the woods last summer, but…

Well, maybe he did hope those things. 

The dating pool in Sioux Falls was pretty slim- either you dated a woman who was divorced from a friend of yours, or was way too young. Being mid-twenties also meant mostly single moms. Dean had no problem with that, he loved kids, but he wasn’t sure he was cut out to actually raise one. It was easier to tell himself to just stay single and be someone’s one night stand. 

Charlie and Anna greeted Jody and Donna and discussed where they would be living, and Dean and Benny started loading the truck with their luggage. 

“Hey, where’s Gabe?” Sam called from the truck.

Anna snorted and rolled her eyes. “He’s coming tomorrow. He’s getting his cast off his arm today- you would not believe what he did.”

“Actually, I’m sure I could,” Dean said, chuckling. Turned out Gabriel, in one of his finer moments, decided he was going to try to climb to the top of one of the arches of the Brooklyn Bridge and instagram a picture. Unfortunately, he got tangled in his bicycle on the side of the bridge and fell (directly to the asphalt), fracturing his arm. 

Castiel approached, looking wary.

“Excuse me,” he said to Jody, in a gravelly deep voice, “I’m new here- is there somewhere I should put my baggage?”

Jody grinned and slapped his back, causing him to wince. Dean pretended to not be watching the exchange. 

“Castiel Novak, I presume? Good. You’re going to be staying in Whispering Oaks, which isn’t really accessible by the road- you gotta drive through a field- so Dean here will take your bags up and give you a ride. Not sure your car won’t drag going over some of the bumps.”

Dean took the opportunity to introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Dean Winchester,” he said, sticking his hand out and donning his most charming smile.

Castiel looked at his hand, a disapproving expression on his face, then straight into Dean’s eyes.

_Wow, really blue._

“I know who you are,” he said flatly, not taking his hand and pulling his suitcase to the bed of the truck and tossing it awkwardly in.

Dean felt like he’d been struck. He glanced around to see if anyone had seen that, but everyone else was busy with introductions, bunk assignments, and cheerful reunions.

“Okaaaaay…” Dean said, rounding the truck to get in the driver’s seat. Castiel climbed in the passenger and Benny hopped in the bed with Sam to hold the bags from bouncing out as they distributed them. They were supposed to start with the girl’s units, but Dean really wanted to go ahead and get this guy out of his truck as soon as possible, so he headed the opposite way, back toward the Infirmary and the boy’s units. 

It was silent and uncomfortable in the cab as they bounced along. Dean seriously considered going through some of the nasty potholes in Julie’s Hollow just to knock the guy around, but it’d probably bounce out Benny and Sam, so maybe not. So he turned up the tape in the player, blasting Led Zeppelin. Castiel frowned and looked out the window but said nothing.

_Geez, this guy is ice cold._

Dean checked the rearview and saw Michael and Zach rambling behind them in Michael’s massive Ford Douchemobile. It was all tricked out- dually, lifted, chrome, the works. It woulda made a great farm truck, but Dean knew for a fact it never left the road except for the couple of times it drove to and from Whispering Oaks at the beginning and end of camp. He was glad he didn’t have to spend much time with the assholes. 

They pulled up to the tiny cabins of Whispering Oaks and parked. Dean killed the engine and turned to Castiel. 

“This is the staff cabin, phone’s in there. If you need maintenance, that’s me, dial 77. I mean, if you need anything.” he cleared his throat awkwardly as the man stared him down, saying nothing then getting out of the truck.

Dean sighed and got out. What the fuck did he do that this guy would be such a dick? He didn’t even know Dean. He had no right. He must have just been some stuck-up rich guy; he’d fit in great with Michael and Zach.

Speak of the Devil.

“Winchester!” Zach called, strolling over, shit eating grin on his face. He reminded Dean of a oily salesman- always selling you something with his right hand while stealing out of your pocket with his left.

“Hey Zach, how they hanging?” Dean said good naturedly, “You guys get into town okay? Heard there was construction on the interstate.”

Zach shrugged. “It was alright. Hey,” his voice dropped to a conspiratorial tone. “You see the new recruits this year? Oohwee, few lookers, ripe for the pickin’.”

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes at Benny. Typical. “Wasn’t really paying attention, man, you need help with your bags or…?”

“Not that you need any of ‘em,” he continued, ignoring Dean’s subject change, “Anna’s looking pretty hot, love to get me some of that-”

“Dude!” Dean and Benny said in unison.

“Are you talking about Anna?” Castiel appeared suddenly around the truck, face like a thunderstorm.

Zach’s eyebrows shot up. Michael heard the raised voices and came out of the cabin, air of authority already on his arrogant face. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Zach said nervously, sounding like he was trying for aloof, but missing by a mile.

Castiel charged at Zach, fists balled. Benny stepped in front of him, holding him back.

“That’s my sister, you fucking jackass. No one talks about my sister that way!”

Zach’s hands went up in surrender and he stepped back just as Michael stepped between them. 

“Hey, woah, sorry man, I had no idea,” Zach didn’t seem sorry, he sounded delighted. Guy was always starting shit. 

“Zach apologizes,” Michael inserted cooly, “we don’t need to get off on the wrong foot.”

“Yeah, I completely apologize,” Zach said, grin still at the corners of his mouth. “I’m sorry I said that about Anna, and Dean’s sorry he banged her out in the woods last summer.”

_Oh, shit._

Dean waited for the wrath to be turned on him.

“I’m aware,” Castiel said stiffly, not looking in Dean’s direction.

_Oh. Shit._

Zach whistled through his teeth. “Glad we got that cleared up. I’m Zach and this is Michael.”

Dean watched, face red with shame as Castiel shook both of their hands. He decided to leave on that note. He turned and caught Benny’s eye in silent agreement, and got in the truck. Sam didn’t look up from his phone. Sam already was privy to the information, Dean had told him during the winter, but it was still fucked up to be called out in front of his baby brother. His shame turned to anger. 

_Jesus, it’s not like I violated her, it was her damn idea! We were sober and everything!_

“Don’t sweat it brother,” Benny said as they drove off, “Zach’s just jealous. Anna turned him down and cussed his ass out last year. It’s a wonder she didn’t knock ‘em out. That girl’s got a serious left hook.”

Dean laughed in spite of himself. Anna was a spitfire. He had honestly been surprised that she had chosen him seemingly at random last year to have a little rendezvous with. They hadn’t flirted more than usual, and neither were drunk. Anna wasn’t known to mess around with guys often, so it kinda made Dean feel special at the time. Oh well. Maybe if he had kept up with her between summers….

But nah. Anna was a great girl, but she wasn’t the one.

Dean had long craved a relationship like the one his parents had. Before his mom died, anyway, and before the old man had become an alcoholic. 

The trip to the girl’s units took long enough to land them back at the Barn around supper time. The cook staff had arrived that day as well, so the smell of actual hot cooked food wafted toward them as Benny, Sam, and Dean hopped out of the truck. 

“Oh hell yeah,” Benny exclaimed, “fried chicken!”

Sam pulled his earbuds out and grinned. “I’m ready for about a whole pitcher of sweet tea.”

“Same,” Dean mumbled as he wiped the sweat from his face. No time for a shower first, he’d just have to sit with his brother and Benny, stinking up a table near the back. He was too worn out to socialize with new people anyway.

Folks were already filling into the line to get food when they entered. Jody was stationed at the entrance, coaching the newbies on meal time protocol per usual. Donna was at the exit, pointing them to their tables, encouraging them to sit with people they hadn’t met yet. Just to speed along introductions. Dean was glad he had minimal participation during training week; it wouldn’t be until Wednesday that he’d have to run the staff through ropes training. He’d take as much opportunity as he could to update his ropes-specific staff- Hannah would be joining him as usual, and it turned out the kid Kevin would too, after the rest of the CITs showed up Wednesday. He was anxious to go ahead and take Hannah out and show her the new features he’d added after the ice storm. She was a little stiff and unsociable, but he didn’t mind a bit because she was hard-core about the rules of safety and had years of experience rock climbing and rappelling. She was also better at putting the girls at ease. Her direct approach was effective.

Dean looked up just as Castiel walked into the dining hall, following Michael and Zach at a distance. He must have walked behind them to find his way back to main camp on foot, but obviously didn’t want to be near them. He broke away and found his sister’s table quickly. Castiel slid in next to Meg (the Equine director’s daughter) and they spoke, and he cracked a small smile. Dean frowned. It was the first time he’d seen Cas smile, and it annoyed him that Meg got it out of him. But what did he care? Cas hated him anyway. 

When did he start referring to him as Cas? Guy was a dick, didn’t deserve a nickname. 

Benny elbowed Dean, making him aware he had been staring. Dean cleared his throat and ignored Benny.

“I mean, he is a looker, but damn, Dean, you already deflowered his sister, leave some for the rest of us.”

“Shut the fuck up, Ben-” Dean froze. “What do you mean, ‘deflowered’?”

“Exactly what it sounds like my man,” Benny grinned around a mouthful of potatoes. “Oh, shit, she didn’t tell you?”

“Well, no!” Dean flushed red and looked back at Anna and Cas’s table. “I- uh…”

Sam started choking on his corn, laughing so hard. Dean gave Benny a disapproving look, as if he cared that Sam overheard all that. He told his brother everything anyway. He thumped Sam on the back and handed him his tea. 

Benny cocked his head. “You really didn’t know? Oh man, I’m sorry. I only know because Andrea was in Hilltop with Anna last year. Dude.”

“No wonder her brother hates me. I defiled his little sister. Ugh, now I feel like I did something wrong.” 

“Nah, brother, you’re fine. She told Andrea it was pretty great.”

Dean looked at Benny and snorted. “Only pretty great? Well, fuck, if I’d known it was her first time, I’d have...I don’t know, made it more special or something.”

“Well don’t you think maybe she didn’t tell you because she didn’t _want_ you to make it more special? It’s my impression that she just wanted to get it over with. Andrea assured me most girls aren’t trying to get the whole ‘laid down on a bed of roses’ thing.”

Sam cleared his throat, the food still making his voice rough. “So you’re saying, she just used Dean to-”

“Shut up Sam!” Dean growled as Jody approached their table, plunking down on the free bench. 

“Hey boys,” she said, yawning, “y’all get everything squared away with the luggage?”

“Sure thing!” Dean said with a forced smile. He glanced over Jody’s shoulder and saw Meg and Cas turned in their seat, looking at him and whispering. Dean felt his cheeks heat again.

“Good,” Jody said. “We’re gonna do a few introduction games tonight, and a campfire, per usual, and Dean, since you, Benny, and Sam already stink to high heaven, you go ahead and get the fire ready after you get done eating.”

“Okay, but I’m going to need some coffee from your personal stash,” Dean responded, genuine smile in place this time. 

“Ah, there’s always a price. I was just on my way to my office, I’ll just make a full pot of coffee instead. _Bon appetit._ ” With that, she stood and headed to the office, slamming the screen door behind her. Dean gave Sam and Benny a Look- they started scarfing the rest of their food. Jody not only had coffee, her office was _air conditioned._ A luxury they wouldn’t see much of after that week.

They practically tripped over each other getting to the line to bus their dishes. Dean laughed and grabbed Sam’s arm, using his momentum to pull ahead- a cheap trick, but he knew the kid would be taller than him soon, might as well take advantage. 

Dean swore he could feel Cas’s eyes on his back as they made their way to the office. What the fuck was that guy’s problem?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full of typos I'm sure ;)

Dean Winchester was a real fucking problem. Not only had he had sex with his sister while she was engaged, he never even attempted to call her afterward! Cas shook his head and turned back to Meg. She seemed pretty nice- she had a laid-back way of speaking and seemed really interested in what Cas had to say. He liked that.

The ride up had been almost torture. Charlie and Anna had giggled and squealed the entire two hour trip, telling camp stories back and forth, reminiscing and making Cas feel really left out. He wasn’t even sure why he was going, he never wanted to before. And he didn’t even really want to now. But it was the best way to get away from his father’s disapproval until he could figure out what his next move would be. 

Cas had been attending Harvard for the past three years, dragging himself through classes, not being exceptional, but never falling behind, and hated every minute of it. The only thing that made him tolerate it was taking art history and a painting class. Neither were part of his major (pre-law), but after some hard negotiating with his father, he was allowed to have those small joys. He didn’t really have friends at Harvard, and kept to himself mostly, under the guise of studying. But really, he had turned his small loft apartment into a studio, the walls lined with canvases and random utility lights clipped everywhere. All the furniture his mom had picked out for him was shoved to the corner at the end of the room, covered in a drop cloth. Except for the couch which was splattered with paint (oops, Ethan Allen) and takeout leftovers. Cas would paint all night and pass out there, study there, and… well, that was it. He really didn’t have a life beyond that. It was all just a rest stop on the way to the life his parents wanted for him. Until this year.

His GPA was meh, but he _hated_ his classes, the other students, the professors, even the damn chairs he had to sit in. Every day he wanted to pull his hair out, and every day he began to realize that this was not the life he wanted for himself, and once he saw that, he couldn’t unsee it. He had to do something before the depression took over and he didn’t something more drastic than skip a class or two.

So he dropped out. His father was livid. The first thing that happened was a drug test- Castiel had never even smoked pot, and was wary of alcohol since Mother seemed to always be sauced. Then his father sent him to a psychologist- which actually turned out good for Cas since Dr. Sellers actually agreed that staying at Harvard would have been detrimental to his mental health. Father hadn’t liked that one bit. But he had no plan, Gabriel was no help, and Rebecca was living abroad, so he turned to his youngest sister Anna. She always seemed to have the answers in her own life, but the answer she gave to him wasn’t what he expected. 

“Come to Cedar Hills with me and Gabe for the summer.”

“Gabe and I,” Cas corrected out of habit, “and why would I want to do that? I don’t really know anything about camping…”

She had rolled her eyes fondly at him and went on and on excitedly about how he would make the greatest arts and crafts director replacement for a friend of hers whom had moved on. Gabe got in on the action, and he finally agreed; after all, it would get him away from Father for a couple of months so he could figure out what to do next. He had to admit that the way his siblings described it, well, it made him a little excited. 

He threw himself into research mode and watched about a hundred YouTube videos of how to make candles, tie dye shirts, and a few other typical camp crafts. It looked really fun. He had no idea about the whole ‘being around children’ thing, but he was pretty sure he could survive. Why not? Anna got him in touch with Jody, the camp director, and they negotiated pay, and suddenly he was employed. He’d never had a job making his own money, working for Father at the Firm didn’t count. 

Father threw a fit, but calmed when Mother convinced him that Castiel would be so homesick and miss Harvard and his opulent (ha!) lifestyle that he would come running home screaming to go back to school. His parents still didn’t know about his paintings. He had moved them to storage when he came home- even Anna hadn’t seen them. 

Father relented when Mother suggested he might find a girlfriend at camp.

It all started to seem like a good idea until… Until Dean Winchester. Dean _fucking_ Winchester. 

Dean Winchester that was ‘so funny, and soooo cute’ according to Anna. Dean Winchester who ‘was everyone’s friend’ and ‘so likeable’ and ‘perfect in every way’ and ‘knew so much about the outdoors’ and ‘is so great with kids.’ Cas hated him immediately, not just because of the ‘had sex with his sister’ thing. The guy just seemed to be too good to be true. And then Cas had to listen to stories about Dean at camp over the years, the pranks, how Gabe thought he was awesome too, for _two whole hours_ on the way to camp. 

He hadn’t meant to be a dick, not really. 

But his sister hadn’t mentioned his ‘stunning good looks’ or ‘ripped body’ or ‘hot cowboy appeal’ or ‘lips that were the definition of sin’ or ‘probably a homophobe.’ 

He had no idea if that last one was true, but the guy was from Kansas, and his dad was in the Army or whatever, so probably. 

He had seriously considered apologizing for being gruff and acting like a dick when they were alone in the truck, but Dean had turned up the stereo. It was a good song, so that was cool, but Cas lost his nerve.

And then those douchebag guys he would have to live in a small cabin with for two months? He really had wanted to punch that Zach guy- but he was just more angry at Dean. The asshole had bragged about sleeping with his sister! What a prick! 

Castiel’s stomach growled as he watched Dean, a big bearded guy (Ben? Benny?), and the kid with the long hair fight each other like children to get into what he assumed was the office? 

“Castiel…” Meg mused from beside him, “What does your name mean?”

“Angel of Thursday,” he said absently, eyes still glued to the office door. 

Meg laughed delightedly and clapped her hands. “That’s perfect! Well, Clarence, you should probably get some chow before they close the kitchen. You guys are going to have to do some lame intro games soon and hand over your phones.”

Cas snapped to attention and stared at Meg wide-eyed. “Our phones?” He looked accusingly at Anna, who was just smiling at him smugly.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t come.”

He groaned and wiped a hand over his face. This was shit news. But it wasn’t as if he had anyone to call, it was just a huge social crutch for him. If he felt awkward now, what the hell was he supposed to do? Talk to actual people? 

“Cheer up Clarence,” Meg said, patting his arm. She seemed nice, too bad she’d be down at the horse barns all summer. Cas was bad at making friends. 

Cas stood, glaring once more at Anna and stepped into the kitchen. Most of the food was gone, so he asked for peanut butter. He was relieved when the cook handed him a premade PB and J sandwich. Apparently they kept them on hand for the vegetarians and for kids who had allergies. 

Oh. Sunflower butter. Not bad. Cas chewed his sandwich thoughtfully and thanked the cook, returning to his seat. Most everyone was done and Jody was standing in the center of the room calling for attention. 

“Greetings to my new camp staff!” Jody called over the din. Cheers and whistles and applause went up, then died down to silence. 

“Before we get into some games and fun- and s’mores later- I have a few announcements. Our newer counselors; please note, the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all students...a few of our older students ought to remember that too,” Jody looked over her reading glasses at Dean and Benny while the Harry Potter fans in the room giggled. Charlie squealed. Cas twitched a small smile. 

“Also. Your unit assignments are subject to change, so I’ll alert you if that happens. I’m already going to switch Victor and Castiel- Vic, you go to Whispering Oaks, and Castiel, you’ll be at Hogan. This is primarily because those are the units the art campers and the swimming campers will be staying. So, okay,” Jody glanced down at her clipboard with a dramatic pause.

“Time to relinquish your phones!” 

There was a loud groan, mostly in jest, and a chorus of “sha na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!” sung over and over as Dean Sin-lips Winchester walked around with a plastic tub, grinning with his stupid handsome face, collecting the cell phones. 

“They’ll be locked up in the safe in the office- you can have access to your phone on your daily break, just ask Donna, Dean, or myself to open it for you. Believe me it’s for the best- you do not want to drop your $400 phone off the swinging bridge or fall in the pool with it in you pocket. We have the phones located at each unit and all activities and the art barn or whatever, which are an in-camp system; the numbers are taped to the phone base. Do not be intimidated by the curly cord attaching the handset to the base. I swear it’s part of the phone.” There were a few giggles from the younger staff members. “And lastly, we have walkie talkies in the office- unit leaders will be responsible for picking one up to carry around for the day. If you don’t bring it back and don’t put it on the charger, I will take your shoes and throw them in the creek. Got it?”

The room hollered a yes, and there was conversations starting up again. Cas felt a little culture shocked. He was staring blankly in Jody’s direction and didn’t see when Dean came to stand by him with the tub. 

“Um, Cas?” Dean’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

Cas blinked and looked up into concerned green eyes. He frowned. Dean’s face flickered what looked like disappointment then indifference.

“Turn it off first.” 

Cas looked back at him and tilted his head. “Turn off…?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and tapped the tub. Cas huffed and pulled his Iphone out of his jeans pocket and turned it off. He set it carefully in the bottom with the rest and met Dean’s eyes again. 

“Do you need to pack up again before I come move your stuff?” Dean shifted, looking uncomfortable. _Jesus, he was pretty. Those green eyes-_

Cas cleared his throat. “Uh, no. I didn’t get a chance to unpack it. It’s the blue-”

“I remember.” 

With that, Dean Gorgeous Winchester moved on to the next table. Cas blinked as the noise of the room filtered back into his brain.

“Woah,” Charlie said, startling him, “ _what_ was that?”

Cas turned to find the whole table of girls staring at him with mischievous smiles, especially Anna. Cas narrowed his eyes at her. She batted her eyelashes innocently.

“I, um, I need to-” Cas stood and walked stiffly to the restrooms in the back. What the fuck? 

He stopped at the sinks and regarded himself in the mirror. His face was slightly flushed and his hair a mess. He was in dire need of a shave, but otherwise, same as always. 

He quickly splashed water over his face several times and headed back out, following the crowd as they left the dining hall and walked over to the fire pit several yards away. Meg waved goodbye to Cas and walked in the direction of the horse barn, and presumably her house. His sister and her friends were way in front of him, chattering away, so he walked alone, cursing this whole plan. Camp? What was he thinking?

The fire was already roaring, and the staff was finding seats on the long logs circling the fire pit. Dean was stoking the fire, adding another couple of logs. Jody stood to address them again.

“Dean here is the ropes and rappelling director, and also heads maintenance. But he’s a busy guy, so don’t be surprised if you get roped into helping out with minor repairs. We all have to chip in!” There was light applause. “This is your illustrious assistant director-slash-canoeing director-slash-part-time nursing staff. She is your greatest ally. But don’t cross her or she will be your greatest foe.”

There was a chorus of ‘whooohoooo’s and whistles as Donna did an exaggerated curtsy and queen wave. One by one, everyone stood and introduced themselves.

Cas watched Dean from the corner of his eye. The broad-chested, bow legged-

Dean turned and looked at Cas, and looked away quickly. What was that? Was he looking-

The guy sitting next to Cas elbowed him and he looked up and saw everyone looking at him. Oops. He was supposed to introduce himself. He stood as he had seen the others do.

“Hello. My name is Castiel Novak, and I am the new arts and crafts director. I have never been to camp before, and Anna is my sister, and is very persuasive.” There were a few light-hearted laughs. “Which means Gabriel is my brother, and yes, I accept your pity.”

There were louder laughs. He sat. That wasn’t so hard. He glanced over and saw Dean walking off toward the Infirmary. He must be going to do the luggage thing. Did he wait to leave until Cas did his introduction? Or did he leave _because_ he did his introduction? Why did he even care? 

The sun was setting and dusk seemed to roll quickly through the camp. The introduction games and silliness were wrapping up. The marshmallows and chocolate were brought out and they all indulged in too much sugar for that time of day.

“Okay, staff, great job!” Jody clapped her hands, clipboard tucked under her arm. “Make sure you keep your flashlights on you at all times. It gets dark real quick around here, and the last thing you need is a broken ankle on one of these trails. So, hit the showers, and I’ll see you all in the morning for coffee and breakfast at 8 sharp, goodnight!”

The staff stood, milling around and talking, meeting up with the other counselors they were going to stay with. Cas realized he had no idea who was from Hogan’s Hollow. But fortunately, he didn’t have to.

“Castiel,” came Benny’s gruff friendly voice from behind him, “looks like you’re gonna be bunkin’ with us.”

The young kid with the long hair who helped with luggage grinned and stuck out a hand. “Sam Winchester.”

Cas hid a flinch. Must be Dean’s little brother. If he squinted, he could see a small resemblance. A second guy stepped up, kind of short with a sheepish smile, and introduced himself as Andy. They seemed friendly enough. 

They took off together, headed back to the unit to get toiletries to take showers. Sam led, Andy close behind- they seemed to be talking about some video game. Cas came next and Benny brought up the rear.

“You know, it was Dean’s idea,” Benny said suddenly.

Cas paused, skirting a plant that very well could be poison ivy, “Hmm?”

“Moving you to Hogan. It was Dean’s idea.”

Cas considered it for a minute. “Is that so? Why did he do that?”

Benny chuckled. “He has a good heart and wouldn’t want anyone worth a damn being stuck with Michael and Zach.”

Cas was taken aback. Dean Winchester had gone out of his way to move Cas somewhere where he would be more comfortable. Not only that, but with his little brother and seemingly best friend. Even after Cas had been a dick to him. What the fuck. His reasoning for being angry with the man were evaporating. Dean must really be all the things they said about him. He didn’t know how to feel.

“Tell him I said thank you?” 

“Tell ‘em yourself,” Benny grinned, motioning his head out the trail. Sure enough, the man in question was coming the opposite direction down the trail, small blue beam of his flashlight illuminating his face- where on others it might look creepy, he just looked ethereal. 

“Tell who what?” Dean said jovially, coming to a halt by his brother and messing up his hair before coming closer to Cas and Benny.

“Um, thank you. For moving me. Out of the Oak place,” Cas said haltingly.

A flash of embarrassment crossed Dean’s face. “Benny, man, you weren’t supposed to tell him.”

Benny just smiled innocently and walked past them, following Sam and Andy, leaving the two alone.

Dean shuffled his feet under Cas’s stare. Cas looked away quickly. He had been informed multiple times in the past that his stare could be unnerving. 

“Well, I just figured you’d probably run screaming from camp after the first few days after being subjected to Mike Zach’s shenanigans. Don’t want your first time to be-” Dean cringed at his words. Cas arched a brow at him. Then he caught the double entendre and chuckled. Dean looked up, surprise visible in the dim light. 

“Look, Dean,” Cas said carefully, “about Anna… I, um, I really don’t care all that much. Anna’s a big girl and it’s a bit crude of me to act like her guard dog. I apologize for my less than welcoming behavior.”

Dean’s eyebrows crawled higher into his hairline. “Oh, um, thanks, I guess? It’s okay, I get it. I have a younger brother that I’d kill for.”

Cas smiled ruefully. “I have to admit I would like to still punch Zach in the face. I think it might do him some good.”

Dean barked out a laugh, causing Cas to smile a little more. Okay, maybe the guy wasn’t so untouchable. Maybe the hype was right. He felt bad for assuming things about the man… Had Anna already outed him to Dean?

Dean shook his head, still chuckling. “Man, Cas, you’re full of surprises. I’ve been barely able to keep from strangling the guy myself for years.”

Cas shifted his weight and looked nervously up the trail. It was completely dark now and he wasn’t sure of the way to Hogan’s Hollow. He could barely see the flicker of Benny’s flashlight. 

Dean turned and shined his flashlight up the trail, following Cas’s gaze. The tension had seeped from the air, but had been replaced by Cas’s worry.

“I can show you how to get there,” Dean said, reading Cas’s mind. “I was headed to the shower house myself, but I’m not in a hurry.”

A shower suddenly seemed like a great idea. An image of a naked, soapy Dean flashed unbidden through Cas’s mind, causing him to flush- hopefully it was dark enough Dean didn’t notice.

“That actually sounds like a good idea,” Cas said, following Dean as he turned to head back up the trail. They were headed the same direction as Whispering Oaks, but there was a turn off somewhere. 

“What about Victor?” Cas asked suddenly. “Is he okay being in the unit with those guys?”

Dean chuckled without turning around. “Yeah, it won’t be a problem. He’s bunked with them before, and he don’t put up with that shit.”

Cas resisted the urge to correct Dean’s grammar. The colloquial nature of it sounded right rolling off his tongue. He blushed again, thinking about Dean’s tongue. He was sure the man wouldn’t appreciate the thoughts going through the head of a man following him into the woods in the dark. Cas’s eyes flicked down to Dean ass, and he regretted it immediately. He looked back up, trying to push the plush, round, firm ass from his mind. _Oh dear god, what the fuck am I doing?_

They walked in silence, except for Cas’s huffing breath. The trial was pretty steep here. He wasn’t really _that_ out of shape, right? He breathed a sigh of relief when they suddenly veered right through a break in the trees and into a large field bathed in moonlight. The grass had been mowed into a path, and Cas recognized it as the field from earlier that day. He saw a cluster of lights through the trees that had to be the cabins of Hogan’s Hollow. He could hear the faint thudding of footsteps on floorboards and screeching of screen doors, punctuated by laughing voices. 

Hogan’s Hollow was a collection of large cabins connected by octagonal platforms and stairs. The trees surrounding them were mature and made the area feel cozy. 

“Looks like the Ewok Village, right?” Dean said as they walked up the steps to the staff cabin.

 

“I’m sorry, the what?”

Dean froze and gaped at Cas. “Ewok Village? Jedi?” Cas shook his head. “You can’t mean to tell me that you’ve never seen Star Wars?”

Cas shrugged, slightly embarrassed. Dean seemed to notice and backtracked. “I mean, it’s no big deal, but you don’t know what you’re missing. An art guy like yourself would love it.”

Cas shrugged. “I guess you’ll just have to show it to me.” He hid his cringe. What was he doing? The innuendo alone, but suggesting sitting in the dark alone with Dean, curled up on a couch, under a blanket-

His thoughts were interrupted by Benny’s loud Southern twang.

“Y’all headed back to the showers? I called Vic to see if he wanted to open the pool later, so grab your bathing trunks and flashlight, cause we’re gonna swim in the dark.”

“Yaaasssss…” Sam hissed out with a fist pump. 

“Awesome,” Dean said, just then tearing his eyes away from the odd look he was giving Cas. _Stupid, stupid,_ Cas cursed his dumb mouth. He smiled tightly and looked around for his suitcase. It had been placed in the vacant bed, turned the right direction. He imagined that Dean had been careful with his belongings. _Stupid._

He grabbed his backpack and shoved his toiletries in, spying his trunks and throwing them in too. As an afterthought, he grabbed his worn blue hoodie and his pajamas. Might as well be prepared.

“Got everything?” Dean asked casually as Cas came back outside. Cas nodded. The other guys had already started back up the trail, but Dean had waited for him, even though he didn’t have to. 

“You could have gone ahead without me, I think I can find it now,” Cas said, putting his backpack on his shoulders.

“I don’t care to wait, I just wanted to make sure you found the shower house alright,” Dean said, with a shrug. “Mind if I smoke? Not supposed to in the units, but if you don’t tell, I won’t.” 

Cas mirrored Dean’s shrug. _Was he flirting?_ Dean flashed a smile, but that didn’t tell Cas one way or the other. 

They started through the field, Dean still keeping his flashlight off, using the moonlight before the cover of trees. He looked so comfortable, ambling along, occasionally pulling on a cigarette and blowing a plume of blue smoke skyward. It was relaxing to just watch him.

“What?” Dean asked, slightly smiling. 

Cas realized he’d been staring again. “Nothing,” he fumbled, “I just was um, thinking how in your element you look, and how I have no idea what I’m doing out here.” Jesus, he sounded like a blushing virgin. He needed to reel it in.

Dean smirked slightly but kept walking. “Don’t worry, by the end of the summer you’ll be wishing you’d been coming here since you were a kid, like Gabe and Anna.”

Cas highly doubted that. 

The shower house was bright and loud, an easy target to find in the dark. Cas could hear voices and the sound of water- not unlike how it would sound in a gym. There were a few guys milling around outside, looking as if they had already finished. That was good; Cas was a little weirded out about showering with a room full of dudes. Yeah, maybe the thought crossed his mind that he might get to see Dean naked- but he brushed it away, no need to get an inappropriate boner when he was about to have to strip down. 

He followed Dean through the back door- there was a sign that said “staff”- to a small three-stall room. 

“This is where you’ll normally shower,” Dean said, cracking the door that led to the long rows of showers that the campers would eventually use. “But during staff week, just go wherever.”

Cas stalled by the door, uncertain how it would look if he just used a stall in there with Dean instead of one of the twenty empty ones. Dean had already turned to start his own shower, and to Cas’s unbelievable luck, went in the middle stall. _Great. Why couldn’t Dean have chosen one on the side?_

But Dean wasn’t getting in yet. He was pulling his shirt off over his head. Cas turned so quickly back to the door that he smacked himself in the forehead with it. He scrambled through and grabbed the nearest stall. 

“Hey Cas,” came Dean’s voice over the rush of hot water, “don’t shower yet- change into your trunks and rinse off. If you still want to go swimming, that is.”

“Yeah, sure,” Cas croaked out, looking around the shower cubicle, realizing he couldn’t change in there. He stepped back out. Maybe he should just go back to the unit after all-

“Dean?” Sam came walking around from the other side, calling out. He spotted Cas and grinned. “You need help with the showers?” Cas nodded. “I’d use the staff ones if I were you. Much cleaner.”

“Okay,” Cas said weekly to Sam’s back as he went through the door to the staff side. Cas paused for a moment. He was having an existential crisis in a shower house at a summer camp. He huffed in annoyance. He was being ridiculous.

Cas swung the door open to the staff side, determined to just put his suit on, douse himself with water and-

Dean For-Fuck’s-Sake Winchester stood shirtless, talking to his brother. It was a sight to behold. He was tanned- with a hint of lines where a t-shirt would be, freckled heavily, and tattooed. And wet. Water ran down his chest in rivulets. God he wanted to lick-

Cas spun around and hung his bag on the hook. He rummaged in his bag and pulled out his shorts, wondering how subtle he could disrobe. He turned at the sound of the screen door shutting again- the brothers had gone outside. Cas sighed deeply and rushed out of his clothes, praying to the gods of bathhouses or whatever to be able to get through this mortification. He managed to get the simple black trunks on and ducked into the same stall Dean had used. He imagined he could smell the lingering musk and sweat the man before him had washed off before getting in the pool. Cas wondered how cold he should make the shower considering the state of his crotch now. 

He turned the water off, shook his head, droplets fanning off of him, and reached for-

_Fuck. My. Life._

He had forgotten his towel. He stood there, conflicted, if he dried off with his pajamas, he couldn’t put them on later, and what would he use at the pool? _Fuck it._

“Benny, Sam, Dean, anyone?” he called, sure they had already left him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Dean popped his head in the door.

_Perfect._ “I forgot a towel,” Cas moaned, rolling his eyes, wiping the water from his face with his fingertips.

Dean giggled, actually _giggled_ , and came over to where his stuff was hanging on the hooks. “Well today is your lucky day, Cas, my man, because I just happened to have an extra.”

Dean pulled a second towel from his backpack and tossed it to Cas who wrapped it around his shoulders quickly. He was starting to feel the night air and his nipples hardened. Or maybe it was the way Dean’s eyes flickered to his chest and back up. He resisted the urge to sniff the towel- but he could still smell Dean’s shampoo lingering on it. Had he used it recently? Had he rubbed it over his naked body- 

Dean held the door for Cas and they headed up a steep trail directly behind the building. Another trail? Jesus, he really was going to have to get in better shape.

Cas glanced up and got an eyeful of Dean’s ass again. _Fuck._

The pool was dark, but Cas could hear the water lapping against the edges, and low voices and quiet laughs. The splashing was even quiet- Cas had the impression they weren’t really supposed to be there.

“Castiel!” Anna called in a stage whisper, “Look at you, hanging with the bad kids.”

“I’m sure we can corrupt this angel,” said Meg, sidling up, dragging a fingertip along Cas’s towel-covered arm. 

Charlie walked over and stifled a giggle. “Have you told her, Cas?”

“Told me what?” Meg turned to eye Cas, keeping her light touch on his arm. He raised an eyebrow at her and smirked, waiting for her to catch on.

Charlie and Anna held their breaths, trying to keep smiles off their faces.

“Oh,” Meg said, then, “oooohhhhh….” Her smirk just got bigger. “In that case, you got your eye on any of these boys yet? Because they are scrumptious!” 

“Not planning anything,” Cas said, shrugging. “Too much on my plate at home at the moment.”

“But you’re not at home, are you?” She waggled her eyebrows at him and pulled him to the edge of the pool. Without further provocation, she pushed him. He wavered at the edge for a second, then dove into the water at the last minute on instinct. The water felt amazing. He kicked toward the surface wondering if he could sneak attack her. He stayed below the water just a little longer- long enough for her to lean over and look for him- he’d have to time it right if he was going to pull her in- and he broke the surface, popping up fast enough to grab her arm and pull-

But woah. That body was much bigger than Meg’s. He opened his eyes underwater and in the moonlight caught a glimpse of rock-hard abs and a large pentagram tattoo surrounded by flames. _Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit…_

He broke the surface to wild laughter. Meg was practically on the ground laughing so hard. Cas turned, aiming to quickly apologize to Dean, but the man had a dangerous sparkle in his eye and a sinful smirk on his lips. Cas couldn’t barely yelp and jump away as Dean lunged at him. He felt a hand on his ankle, but he wiggled away, breaking the surface several yards away, laughing for the first time all day, and gasping from the exertion. The girls were throwing each other in the water then, and everyone seemed to forget about keeping quiet. Cas spotted Dean across the water, propped up on the edge, smirk still in place.

“This isn’t over, Novak,” he growled, probably not meaning to sound as damn sexy as he did. Cas gulped as the others catcalled the threat with a schoolyard ‘ooooohhhhh’. “It’s on now.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Dean,” Anna said rolling her eyes, “you do _not_ want to get in a pranking war with Castiel. Gabriel is his brother, remember? There’s nothing he hasn’t seen.”

“Well, I don’t think he’s seen anything like me,” Dean laughed as the catcalls followed his threat.

“We’ll see about that, Winchester,” Cas tossed back, impressed with how casual he sounded, and climbed out of the pool to try the diving board. He hadn’t been in a pool in years. He’d swum competitively in high school, but didn’t make time to do it anymore. He felt eyes on him as he poised himself, stretched to his toes, and executed a perfect front flip.

He broke the surface to applause. He laughed and treaded water, looking for Dean. The spot he was a second ago was vacant-

“Bombs away!” Cas spun just in time to see Dean cannonball into the water about two feet from him, drenching him in a wave, and pulling him under. Cas grappled with the man under the water, suddenly pissed again, but sidetracked by the hard muscled arms in his grip. Dean grabbed him around the shoulders from the back in a classic lifeguard rescue maneuver.

Cas had about 20 choice things to say when they hit the surface- but-

Oh. 

It wasn’t intentional, but Cas pressed backward into the taller man and felt the long line of Dean’s thigh, up to where his unaroused penis lay, brush against his hip. 

All complaints were lost. _I wonder if I could get him to do CPR on me?_ Cas thought as they broke the surface. He pretended to want out of Dean’s hold, but Jesus, he wanted to sink back into it. 

What the hell was this straight boy doing touching him so much?

Everyone was hooting and laughing, and others were wrestling as well, so no one was really watching them anymore. 

“Well played,” Cas gasped, staring Dean down when he caught his breath, tipping his head, his skin tingling when their skin had been touching.

Dean grinned smugly. “Yeah, you’re gonna love camp.”

Cas just hummed noncommittally and turned to swim to the side, feigning coolness he certainly _did not_ feel- just to get away from the sensation of Dean pressed up against him. 

Dear sweet Jesus, if that’s how big his dick was soft, he couldn’t fathom what it was like hard.

Cas took the opportunity of the relaxed atmosphere and darkness to summon the courage to talk to people. He met Ed and Harry- two guys who worked with the young kids at Pine Hill 2 (the boys side), Victor- the guy was really nice and welcoming, brushing off Cas’s apology for the move, and Balthazar- a British guy who had worked there the past 2 years. He was really nice and seemed to be flirting with Cas, so he just let it happen. He needed to ask Gabe about this guy tomorrow- they had worked together before. The swimmers started tapering off until only Cas, Balthazar, Dean, Benny, and Victor were left. Vic stood up and announced that they needed to scram ‘because he was tired and needed to lock up.

Cas still needed a shower. He walked back down the trail, still talking to Balthazar, glad to have a distraction from Dean. He couldn’t help but glance back to see where he was- he and Benny were following at a distance, whispering. 

Cas bade Balthazar a goodnight, and walked to the staff entrance. He was glad his new friend went in the front. The idea of taking a shower next to someone who was just flirting with you seemed… odd. He grabbed his soap and shampoo and quickly pulled the far stall curtain shut and hung the towel over the rod. He turned on the hot water and groaned as it hit his chilly skin. The outside door opened and shut. The curtain next to his stall swiped open and Dean entered the stall right next to his. 

_The fucking partitions were only neck high, fuck fuck fuck._

Dean grinned at him and went about his own routine, seemingly unbothered by the arrangement. Why had he chosen the middle stall again? 

“So you meet anyone interesting?” Dean asked casually, making Cas nearly jump out of his skin. Dean’s voice seemed lower than it should, and was making a warmth bloom in Cas’s abdomen. 

“Um. I guess?” Cas wasn’t sure what Dean was getting at.

“I just, uh, I know it isn’t my place,” Dean kept his eyes averted, so Cas followed suit. Dean’s voice dropped a little lower. “But I wanted you to know that Balthazar...he’s a good guy, but he’s…”

_He’s what? He’s gay? Is there something wrong with that?_ Cas felt his hackles rise. 

“He’s kind of a player. Just, um, be careful. Camp just started and it’s best not to get...I don’t know, _involved._ It can get messy.”

Cas turned and stared at Dean, eyes wide. That wasn’t at all what he was expecting. Not only did he recognize that Balthazar was hitting on him, but he expressed concern for Cas’s welfare. He narrowed his eyes. 

“Did Anna tell you?” Cas blurted before he could think.

Dean turned to look back at him, finally, eyes wide. “No! No, she didn’t. I just… Forget it, never mind, it’s really none of my business.”

Dean flushed and looked away. They finished their showers in awkward silence. 

Cas could no longer think of reasons to stay in the shower, so he turned off the water. Dean did so at the same time. Cas bit back a frown. He was hoping to get out before or after Dean to avoid dressing in front of him. It just wasn’t…. _usual_ for him. He wrapped his (Dean’s) towel tightly around his waist. He felt so exposed in more ways than one. 

Dean rummaged through his bag and stopped, dropping his head. “When my dad died, we went to live with my uncles.” Cas paused his actions, waiting for further explanation. “And by uncles I mean they’re married. To each other.”

Dawning realization rolled over Cas. He pulled his pajama pants on and breathed deeply, turning to Dean.

“You’re not at all what I expected, Dean Winchester,” he said, smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “And I guess that’s...a good thing.” 

Dean looked at him, puzzled. “Thanks, I think.”

Cas broke into one of his rare grins, and was pleased to see the flush on Dean’s cheeks spread to his chest. _Interesting._

“This tattoo,” Cas said, walking closer, “what does it mean?”

Dean glanced down, seeming to just notice he was still shirtless. He pulled the AC/DC shirt in his hand over his head.

“It’s a demon protection symbol,” he said, “my dad had a matching one. Protection from demonic possession.”

“Hmm.” Cas murmured. “You run into a lot of demons?”

Dean flashed his million dollar smile. “You’d be surprised.”

They went outside, meeting Benny and Balthazar. Dean and Balthazar waved goodbye, heading off into the darkness of a gravel road, presumably to the Beech Tree place. Cas and Benny headed back to their cabin as well. Cas decided to take a risk.

“So, how long have you known Dean?”

Benny chuckled. “Long time, brother, since we were kids.”

Cas hummed. “Is he um, seeing anyone?”

Benny stopped walking and looked up at the night sky. Cas followed his line of sight and sucked in a breath. The moon had almost set, and the Milky Way was visible. 

Benny sighed. Cas regretted asking. Benny looked back at him, a slight smile on his lips. 

“You know, Dean’s a bit of a mystery even to me. He was dating a mom of one of the campers, and it looked like he had found just what he needed...but it didn’t end well. I think he’s holding out for some kind of epic romantic love story like the one he built up his parents’ story to be. It’s an impossibility to live up to your own imagination, don’t you think?”

Cas found himself nodding, not completely understanding. He’d shied away from relationships since he had been old enough to know he was gay. His parents were a complication, of course, and they offered no example of what a relationship would look like beyond being a business arrangement. It explained why he and Gabriel remained single, Rebecca had disappeared to Europe alone, and why Anna was marrying the son of their Father’s law partner. Romance was a thing of books and movies. Any physical action Cas had acquired was the result of frustration with school that ended with him in a bar and hooking up at the other guy’s apartment. He was always careful, and never left his phone number. It hadn’t been a record number of encounters, far from it, but it was enough for a physical release, enough to ease the frustration so he could return to his painting with a clear head. He never brought men to his apartment. 

They continued walking back to Hogan. Cas realized he didn’t have any more answers than when he started. It was probably best to push Dean Winchester out of his mind. Cas could never be the epic romance Dean was looking for- he wouldn’t even know where to start. So he had a crush, big deal. Dean probably didn’t even like guys- just because his uncles were gay meant nothing. And all the touching and staring… 

He was out of his depth. 

They kept the lights off and slipped into their respective bunks, to keep from waking Sam and Andy. Cas was surprised how tired he was. Probably all the hiking. He drifted off with images of clear green eyes floating through his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay blowjobs!
> 
> Here's the smut @Rosie-B was looking for

Dean blew a plume of smoke at the trees. His mind was a mess. 

He wasn’t precisely sure why he had acted the way he had with Cas last night. Was it Dean’s refusal to have someone not like him? Was it just an attempt to make the guy feel welcome? Yeah, that was it. 

But that wasn’t just it.

There was a thing. A Thing hat happened when Cas’s body ran alongside his in the water, all toned hard muscles and sinew. And he had friggin’ accidentally run into Cas with his dick- _that_ was unexpected. Dean wasn’t sure if it was just the friction or the heat of Cas’s body that caused his dick to twitch, his belly to tingle. It was an odd sensation. He had to swim to the other side of the pool and play it off somehow. Dean honestly had no idea why he had leaned over the water to make sure Cas was okay when he went in, but the guy sure got him good, popping out like that and pulling him in. He had no idea why he tried to grab him. He had no idea why he followed him to the diving board. Was this flirting?

He knew Castiel was beautiful, he’d have to be blind to not see it. He had those intense blue eyes that seemed to see everything, his chiselled features, and pink lips-

Okay, so he’d never really paid attention to Benny or Vic’s lips. 

Ah, geez, he had been flirting. And then he had given Cas sex advice. AND THEN he had told Cas an intimate detail of his life, even about his tattoo, to let the guy know he accepted Cas’s sexuality. And how did he know Cas was gay? The obvious flirting with that little shit Balthazar. Dean knew the guy well enough that he basically propositioned everyone- Gabe had just laughed at him, and the two were pretty good friends now. But Dean had considered it. Just for a second. For a split second, he had wondered what it would be like to fuck a dude. Or to be more precise, to be fucked by a dude. He considered asking Benny if he’d ever thought about how a dick up his ass would feel. Or in his mouth. If straight guys thought those things too. 

Maybe not. He and Benny were close, but that was pretty personal. He had to admit he was a little curious, maybe a little _bi-_ curious, but Balth wasn’t the guy to try it out with. Dean really didn’t find him physically attractive. 

But Cas on the other hand-

Dean’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the trail to the ropes course. Hannah. Good.

“Dean,” she nodded politely, “I see you’ve kept the low ropes in decent shape over the winter.”

That was as close as Hannah got to being friendly, so Dean just grinned. “It’s good to see you too.”

They spent a few hours going over new features and the upcoming ropes training day for all the counselors- the whole staff would get to come out and do the games they would later be taking the campers through. For now, they made a list of supplies they would need for the first couple of weeks. Their cooler had mysteriously disappeared, they needed toilet paper for the latrine, soap, and the like. They ordered a few new helmets to be on the safe side, and a few more harnesses. Dean’s brain stupidly wondered how Cas would look trussed up in webbing to go through the high ropes course, and shook his head to clear it. Soon it was time for lunch.

They crossed the horse pastures heading back to the Barn, hearing the singing all the way from there. There was a camp tradition of gathering at the massive white pine tree on the side of the Barn, dubbed “the singing tree”, to sing camp songs until all the units arrived for a meal. Kids could take bathroom breaks, drink water, and sit in the shade, singing stupid songs. He could hear a familiar voice louder than the others. Dean smirked and walked faster, coming up behind Gabriel who was leading the staff in a round of _Sippin’ Cider Through a Straw._

He pounced, scaring the shit out Gabe, making him jump back and holler. The rest of the staff were giggling, and Gabe narrowed his eyes at Dean. Dean just jumped in and helped lead the rest of the song. 

They were called in to the dining hall, forming a line. Gabe slipped in right by Dean.

“So I heard you made quite an impression on Cassie,” Gabe said with a smirk.

“What do you mean by that,” Dean asked too quickly. Gabe’s eyebrow arched.

“Ah, interesting.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and turned back around to glare at the line in front of him. Best not give Gabe any ammo, the guy was a ruthless prankster. 

“Rumor has it you were being all touchy-feely in the pool last night,” Gabe moved into Dean’s line of sight.

“He said that, huh?” Dean kept his voice casual. Probably sounded suspicious. 

“Nope! But I have other reliable sources,” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows.

Dean found himself relieved that Cas hadn’t been talking about him. And then he felt a flash of disappointment. Did he want Cas talking about him?

“I also hear he owes you a prank.”

Ah, that was what this was about. “Well, tell him to bring it. There’s nothing new under the sun.”

Gabriel laughed and clapped his hands, rubbing them together. “Yeeesssss,” he hissed, “watch your back, Winchester.”

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed his plastic tray to get his lunch. He didn’t need to watch his back. Why would he need to when he could just watch Cas? It wasn’t as if he stood in the Barn office waiting for Cas to show up before getting coffee at the same time. Or strategically placed himself where he could watch Cas from afar. Or sneak his phone out to check Cas’s FaceBook page (he didn’t have one). Or help him get the paperwork for a supply request for the arts and crafts barn. Or offer to come down there after lunch and help inventory and give Cas a tutorial on the temperamental kiln. Or sit down for lunch where he could see his at a table with Ed and Harry, watching in amusement as Ed told Cas the art barn was haunted, and he and Harry planned to chase the ghosts out that week. Cas lifted an eyebrow and told them they were welcome to it. 

He winced when Gabriel elbowed him. “Hey quit ogling my brother.”

“What? Shut up. No I’m not,” Dean said quickly, face red. Oh shit.

“Don’t worry Dean-o, I won’t run the brotherly cock-block, it’s about time Cas get laid.”

Dean gulped. “He’s a virgin?” _Oh Christ no._

“Nope!” Gabe leered. “I just wanted to see your reaction. You _are_ into him! The great bro-dude het Dean is faltering! I think we should celebrate.”

“Shut up!” Dean whined under his breath. “I never said I was- why am I telling you this? And why the fuck are you trying to get your brother laid? Especially by the guy who hooked up with your sister?”

Gabriel shrugged. None of that was news to him, and Dean knew it. If there was gossip, Gabe was three steps ahead. 

“What can I say, Dean-o, Cas needs to loosen up and have a good time. You might just be the guy to do it. Or be BFF’s. I really don’t give a fuck, I was just fucking with you. Really, I wanted to see what you had in mind to prank Cas with. I mean, you’re about to feel his wrath- there’s no doubt about that- you need to be ready.”

Dean looked at him like he had two heads. “Waht?”

“Ya’ know, feel his _wrath,_ wink wink?” Gabriel stood with his tray. “I suggest messing with his clothes, you know, as in getting him out of them?” 

Dean snorted. “Fuck off Gabe.”

“It’s good to see you too, big guy,” Gabe said fondly, ruffling his hair, making it all stick up. 

Dean batted his hands away. Gabe always fucked with him, messed with his head. But he always hid his sincerity in his jokes. There was some sort of lesson in there. 

Was it some sort of blessing from an older brother? To pursue Cas? 

Dean straightened in his seat as Cas came over to his table. 

“You ready?” Cas asked, shuffling some papers, voice muffled by the pen he had stuck in his mouth. Dean kept looking at that mouth.

“Yup,” Dean said, too loudly. He hid a cringe. Fucking Gabriel. Now he was turned upside down. Yesterday he could have said that he was straight, but today, he was questioning his sexuality over the messy-haired, blue-eyed man in front of him. He hopped up, banging his knee on the underside of the table. He groaned in pain- he had hit it at that angle that was like a funny bone. Cas was looking at him amusement. “Need some ice?”

“Ha ha, no, I’m fine.” Dean’s face blushed red. This was so stupid, he needed to get ahold of himself. Cas helped him put the benches upside down on the table so they could sweep. Dean chastised himself. He needed to just be a friend to the guy- Cas just got hit on by Balthazar- Dean didn’t need to be a creep too. How do you even flirt with a guy? He had no idea. He thought about the exchange in the pool as they walked through the office to grab a walkie talkie. That was like flirting, but he had no idea he was doing it at the time. 

“You ready?” he asked Cas.

“Lead the way,” Cas said casually, fiddling with his pen.

They took off through the field, cutting through Pine Hill, and stopped at the weathered gray barn near the trailhead to Hogan. Cas made a surprised sound as Dean rolled the ancient shutters aside to let light in the building. 

“This wasn’t what I was expecting,” Cas commented, looking up the the high ceiling and the slats of wood that passed as walls. The light filtered through, and gave the who place an other-worldly atmosphere.

Cas had said the same thing about Dean last night. Said it was a good thing.

“Let me give you the nickel tour,” Dean flashed a smile he hoped was charming. He took Cas through the rooms, named what they were most used for. Darkroom, Clay, Candle room (was kind of like a kitchen), and the porch. 

Cas stared in awe, seeming to soak in everything Dean was saying. It was a little unnerving. He seemed so innocent, how could this nice guy prank anyone? He thought about asking, but that kind of broke an unspoken rule. 

They went back to the central room (Candle room) and Cas started inventorying everything messily shoved into the drawers and cabinets. He mumbled to himself as he worked, which Dean found endearing. Cas looked up suddenly, catching him staring. Instead of looking away this time, Dean met his gaze and held it.

“Is there anything else you need me for?” He asked, his voice huskier than it had any right to be. _Oh fuck, that sounded like a line._

Dean swore he he saw a flash of something- lust, maybe- before a calm polite mask dropped into place. “I don’t know, Dean, is there?” Cas took one step forward, still keeping a respectable distance. He was wearing shorts that day, his muscled calves visible over athletic shoes. He wore a rather formal-looking short-sleeve button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone. On someone else, it might not have been so fucking sexy, but on Cas, it was. Dean felt a heat in his gut. He needed to get out of there before he did something stupid.

Dean stepped back. “I don’t know, I, uh, I’ll leave you to it.” He started to back out of the room.

“Dean,” Cas called, still in the same spot. “When I’ve finished taking inventory, and know what I need, I can let you know what that is, right?”

Dean nodded, unable to comprehend what was happening. Was Cas doing this on purpose? Was he returning innuendo? Was he telling Dean he was interested? Was this about art supplies?

Dean didn’t respond further, and darted out the door. What the fuck? He automatically started walking in the direction of BTB, his groin throbbing, trying to will away his budding erection. He thought about stopping to talk to Donna, but he couldn’t, not in that state. He needed to drop by his cabin, which no one was in the unit for sure, and take care of his little problem. 

He shifted his dick to a more comfortable position, which it took as an invitation to harden further, the blood rushing to his crotch as he walked faster. He was practically running by the time he crossed the creek for the third time, drawing closer to his bed and a bit of solitude for a nice long jerk. 

He saw the break in the trees. There was a flash of color where there shouldn’t have been. He furrowed his brow, as saw as he got closer. _Son of a bitch!_

Someone had moved all his belongings to the roof of the unit house. They had taken their time, setting up his bed, made up, complete with pillows, and his trunk that he used as a bedside table. His cigarettes were on the trunk, exactly where he left them. His empty Dr. Pepper bottle laid on it’s side right where it was supposed to be. Every detail. He’d take time to be impressed, if he wasn’t incredibly pissed off. He let go of his disappointed dick, which was quickly losing interest. 

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, “how the fuck am I supposed to get that down?”

He considered climbing up there and taking a nap just in spite of whoever did this (probably Gabe), or jerking off in the woods, but the fire in his belly was seeping out.

“Hello, Dean.” The gravelly voice interrupted his thoughts as he spun around. His dick perked up hopefully.

“Jesus Christ, you scared the fuck- wait. Did you do this?” 

Cas sauntered over casually, smile tipping the corners of his mouth. “I had a little help, but it was my idea.”

Dean’s heart was pounding. The image of Cas touching his pillowcase and his hands in Dean’s bedding made him shiver slightly. He needed to shake this off. No one had ever made him that nervous. Cas moved closer, almost into Dean’s space. 

Dean gulped. “Were you following me just now?” _Christ, he’d had his hand crammed down his pants the whole way. Did he see?_

Cas nodded, an air of confidence about him that Dean had yet to see. “Yeah, I wanted to see your reaction. To this, of course.” He waved toward Dean’s bed.

“Of course,” Dean repeated, nerves thrumming with anticipation. He felt cornered, but he liked it. Like he was being hunted. He had always been the hunter, but somehow the roles reversing was an unexpected turn-on. Cas moved a fraction closer, but kept his hands to himself, seeming to give Dean the chance to back out if he needed to. If he needed to run. But he didn’t want to run. He wanted to chase this feeling- dip into the heat between his legs- he needed Cas to kiss him. He needed to know.

Cas waited, mere inches between their lips, his breath ghosting over Dean’s face. He smelled a little like coffee and peppermint mixed with a high-end deodorant. Dean wanted to rub up against that. He closed his eyes, then blinked them open. 

Cas was very still, very patient. Dean was frozen in indecision, a breath away from something he’d never done, something apparently he wanted to do very badly for the first time in his life. Who knew?

Dean could see the disappointment seep into Cas’s deep blue eyes. He had to change that. Dean dipped his head forward, catching Cas’s lips in his, letting the feeling of the contact sink in before pulling back. Cas looked stunned. He reached up and touched his lip where Dean had kissed it, his eyes flashed and the look of wonder was replaced by predatory lust. 

Cas growled and attacked Dean’s mouth, biting and sucking. Dean grabbed him and pulled his body flush to him. It was different, no soft breasts or bottom, but it was hot. Hard muscle- 

Cas shifted and his erection brushed Dean’s. There is was. It was the thing that would be the dealbreaker- another dude’s dick- it should send him running. But instead he ground against it, relishing the moan it drew from Cas’s lips into the heated kiss. Cas tongued deeply into his mouth, then sucked on his lower lip. Dean felt the smooth bark of a beech tree against his back- somehow Cas had walked them over. Cas had something to push against then, a deep heat rushed in as Cas grabbed Dean under his thigh and lifted his leg to wrap around him, in a move Dean was familiar with, but had never been on the receiving end of it. It shifted them so Cas’s hard clothed cock dragged alongside his, perfectly. _God, it feels so good._ Cas ran his fingertips along Dean clothed ass to his crack down to his hole. He gasped and pushed back on Cas’s fingers, causing the man to chuckle darkly in his mouth. It felt so good he didn't’ want it to end, but Cas pulled back making Dean whine, chasing his mouth. Cas smirked and held Dean still against the tree.

“Don’t move,” Cas instructed in a growl. Dean could only nod and heave deep breaths, his dick throbbing with his heartbeat. Cas slid to his knees _dear god_ and expertly unfastened Dean’s belt and had his jeans and boxers down in a flash. Cas looked up at Dean through his eyelashes. “I’ve been wanting to get my mouth on this since that moment in the pool, Dean.”

Dean shuddered at how Cas said his name, reaching to cup Cas’s face gently in his hands, squirming as Cas finally gripped Dean’s shaft in his hand and stroked once. Dean felt like his legs were going to give out. Those thick pink lips and his darting tongue lapped and sucked at his head, teasing him. He saw Cas’s free hand slip between his own legs, followed by the distinct sound of a belt being unbuckled. Dean whined again, his hands moving to Cas’s hair, pulling gently, not pushing up, being good and staying glued to the tree. Having his hair tugged seemed to flip a switch in Cas; he began to suck in earnest, taking Dean in as deep as he could go, and drawing off, increasing the suction of his mouth. Dean couldn’t help the moans falling from his lips, his head thumping back on the tree, he tried to close his eyes- looking at Cas would make him instantly come- but his senses heightened and he felt the pressure build and he pulled at Cas’s hair but Cas just swallowed around him, and Dean looked down into blue watering eyes, lips stretched around the girth of his sizeable cock, and came harder than he could remember. Cas sucked every drop from him, his hand wringing out every bit, moaning around his mouthful. Dean tilted his head and could suddenly see Cas’s other hand, working his straining cock- Dean spurted another bit down Cas’s throat with a quiet cry, watching as Cas moaned one last time and came over his own hand. Dean watched, fascinated as Cas’s come pumped out, wishing he could see it closer. 

Cas pulled his lips off, panting harshly, eyeing Dean, an inscrutable look in his face. Dean’s legs finally gave out and he slid down the tree, pants still around his ankles, and slowed his breathing. Cas had wiped himself on a handkerchief (of course he had one, it was probably monogrammed), and tucked himself away. He offered it to Dean, and he took it, wiping away the saliva still clinging to his shaft. He straightened his legs and maneuvered his pants back up, hands shaking too much to do the belt. 

Dean handed the handkerchief back to Cas, meeting his eyes briefly. The awkward feeling started to settle over them. _No! Say something, anything, don’t scare him off!_

“Uh, I um, never done that before. With a guy, I mean,” Dean said, just making it feel more awkward. 

“Yeah, I figured,” Cas said. “Well, anyway, I have my purchase order filled out, I guess I better go find Jody and turn it in.”

Dean nodded dumbly, at a blank on how to fix how they were feeling. Were they going to pretend that never happened? Was Cas going to ignore him now?

Cas nodded curtly and stood, brushing his shorts off, taking one last look at Dean’s stunned face, and headed back down the road.

As Dean watched him go, he realized he still hadn’t gotten his bed off the roof.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I have no idea how I just wrote that much and didn't notice- maybe this is more dialogue? I don't know but I'm about to go blind from staring at this screen
> 
> Here's the deal. I wrote this long ass chapter, saw how long it was, spell checked it and posted it without editing AT ALL. SO I AM TIRED AND IT MAY BE BAD IN SOME PLACES BUT THERE IS FLUFF AND MASTURBATION

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Cas laid face-down on the bench on the porch of the art barn. Charlie petted his hair. 

“What the fuck was I thinking?” he moaned into the wood. 

She sighed and continued to stroke his hair. He had walked back from Beech Tree Bend, beating himself up for what he had done. There had been a flair of something, _something,_ between he and Dean since the first day, and he was stupid and acted on it. He really didn’t know what possessed him to follow Dean to the unit. He had told himself at the time that he wanted to see Dean when he found the bed on the roof. But he should have turned back when he nearly caught up to him on the road. Dean had his hand down the front of his jeans, biting his lip as he walked quickly. Cas had to stop at a tree and wait, breathing heavily. Was Dean going back to the unit to jerk off? Clearly. Was it his interaction with Cas dropping seductive lines that set him off? Clearly. Was it just too tempting to maybe catch Dean in the act, pants around his ankles, sweaty and panting, stroking that big cock that Cas so desperately wanted to see? Clearly. 

He had realized at that moment that he was already walking toward the unit again. 

And then that had happened. And he fucked it all up. 

It was that first kiss, light and sweet. Just a taste- ice tea, cinnamon nicotine gum that Dean carried with him, and just _something._

He had been stunned by the electricity that flowed through him. He’d never felt something like that before. And he had ruined it.

He had jumped on Dean like someone...- like an animal, really- Cas focusing on the lust he felt to drown out the other feelings he was having- _infatuation, care, fear of the unknown._

So he took control, gave Dean something he would hopefully never forget: a blowjob to settle his bi-curiousness. 

He could tell Dean was put off by the fact he was a man. Dean could barely stand to look down at him. And he had to have been disgusted when he watched Cas come, coarsely jerking himself, so Dean wouldn’t feel obligated to return the favor. 

And he had fucked it up. Dean felt awkward about the whole thing, obviously embarrassed, but maybe wanted to talk about it. Reassurance that it was no big deal. But it was a big deal. To Cas it was, anyway. And Cas had just left, selfishly thinking of avoiding his own scary feelings, and just fled.

Charlie thumped him on the back of the head. “Yeah, what the fuck were you thinking? If you wanted a hook-up, you should have just messed around with Balthazar. Dean is… a whole other thing.”

Cas lifted his head, rubbing the spot Charlie had hit. “Well, shit, Charlie, can you tell him for me? Tell him I’ll keep my mouth shut?”

“Hell no, I’m not getting in the middle of your boy drama. I got enough of my own screw ups to worry about.”

Cas looked up at his friend with sympathy. Dean wasn’t the only person Anna hooked up with last summer. Charlie swore it was nothing more than some kissing, but it had knocked her sideways. But she knew Anna was just getting some things out of her system before she went off and married Bart. He wasn’t sure it worked- Anna was having doubts about the life built for her too. Seeing Cas drop out of school had affected her, Cas could tell. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this place is nothing but drama? It’s only the first week and now I have to avoid someone for the rest of the summer.”

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty,” Charlie said rolling her eyes. “You do realize we have low ropes training Wednesday when the CIT’s get here, right? And Dean’s in charge of all of that, plus bringing you all your supplies AND maintenance you will absolutely need in this shack? There is no avoiding him. Just put your big boy panties on, tell him it’s cool, clear the air and have a beer or something. Talk sports. Punch things, I don’t have any idea what dudes do for fun.”

Cas sighed and smiled. She was right; she was always right. If he ignored Dean it would be worse- awkward situations more than the usual. Confronting him and apologizing, that was very grown-up. Plus it would be good to acknowledge that they had just got whatever attraction they had for each other out of their systems. Yeah. 

Cas and Charlie walked up the hill to the dining hall. He felt better about the situation and needed to do it quick before he changed his mind. But where would Dean be? He wasn’t in the office, not at the singing tree, in the kitchen, or even smoking on the back porch of Jam Hall. Cas stood outside the office looking in the direction of BTB. Was Dean still down there? Dinner was about to begin, was he still trying to get the bed down- 

Cas slapped his forehead. He forgot about the prank. What an asshole thing to do- leave the guy with his pants still kind of down and all his clothes and bed high up on the roof. It had been a bitch to stage, but he had both Sam and Benny’s help. But Dean was out there by himself-

A long, low black car came creeping down the driveway from off campus. He wondered who it belonged to. It was a Chevy, but Cas wasn’t a car guy. Impala? It rolled by him and into the parking area, cutting the engine.

Dean Big Dick Winchester stepped out of the driver’s seat looking like a fucking cowboy fantasy. Cas felt his stomach swoop. 

Dean was eyeing him, looking unsure of himself. It was NOT a look Cas like to see on his face. He took a deep breath and walked straight over. He noted the way Dean blushed and looked down. Guilt stabbed Cas’s gut, but he didn’t back down, he needed to make it right. 

Cas stopped short, reminding himself to stay out of Dean’s personal space. 

“Hello, Dean.”

 

“Heya, Cas,” Dean shuffled his feet a bit, looking everywhere but Cas.

“Dean, I want to explain something-”

“No, it’s cool, I mean-” 

“Dean, please,” Cas said softly, his voice betraying his control.

Dean looked up sharply and met his gaze. _Dean god in heaven, his eyes, I could drown-_

Cas swallowed and spoke carefully. “I’m really sorry for just walking off like that. It was very thoughtless of me. I was hoping you could forgive me for being so rude.”

Dean looked gobsmacked. “Huh?”

Cas frowned, wondering if he had somehow screwed this up too. “I-um, I should have talked to you, helped you get your bed down, something…”

Cas was scanning Dean’s face, trying to read what he wasn’t saying.

“Cas, no, man seriously, it’s cool. I’m alright, I promise, it was...nice. I mean, not nice, but awesome, um, I mean…” Dean looked down again, blushing furiously. Cas wondered how many people got to see Dean so vulnerable. He felt privileged. 

“Dean,” Cas laid what he hoped was a comforting hand on Dean’s bicep. He felt the muscle jump slightly under his fingers. “It’s okay, it _was_ awesome. Really really…” He cleared his throat and pulled his hand back. “What I mean is, it was a positive experience for both of us and we can let it make us uncomfortable around one another, or we can just be fine. I want to just be okay with you. Do you know what I’m saying?”

“Yeah,” Dean said slowly, “Are you giving me the ‘let’s just be friends speech?” His mouth quirked slightly.

Cas rolled his eyes. “Okay, yeah, if you want to cheapen it, sure.”

Dean laughed, the tension rolling off his shoulders a little. Cas fought the urge to touch Dean again. 

“Cas, you’re something else. Yeah sure, I’d like to be cool. I can do that.” 

Cas imagined he could hear a little disappointment in his voice, but maybe it was wishful thinking. “Good. You know I’m just luring you into a false sense of security before I prank you again.”

The spark was back in Dean’s eye. Cas practically melted in relief. If he couldn’t have Dean the way he wished he knew how to, he’d take whatever he could get. 

“If I’m not mistaken, you are in the line of fire now,” Dean smirked and jingled his keys. 

Cas grinned, and Dean’s smirk widened. 

_Fuck yeah, bring it._

They walked into the dining hall, and Cas was aware of how many eyes were on them. 

_Oh shit, did he tell someone? Did he tell Gabe???_

There was applause and whistles. Cas’s heart stopped. 

Then Benny and Sam walked up, slapping him on the back.

_Oh god, the prank. It’s just about the prank, thank fuck_

Cas waved halfheartedly and followed Dean through the line to get food. He was lost in thought, following him to a table and _sitting next to him._

_Okay, I guess this is happening._

Cas looked furtively at Dean, but he was chatting away to Benny about the rope training like nothing had happened. Okay, that works. Dean drew Cas into the conversation with a few simple sentences and that open smile, and Cas felt himself ease into something he’d not experienced before. This group of guys liked him. He kind of had friends. And it was easier than it should have been. He’d had his defenses up for so long that he hardly remembered the last time he felt comfortable being friends with men. High school? Not really. Before then? Maybe.

They finished dinner in relative peace and headed back to their units. Showers and bed. Cas was a little disappointed to not see Dean at the shower house- the guy had been in new clothes by his car, so he must have already bathed, washing away the evidence Cas had been there- but it was for the best. He didn’t have to avoid Dean, but he should probably avoid naked Dean for a few days, if possible. 

When he finally crawled into bed, Cas was exhausted. He prayed he’d have dreamless sleep, and for once, he got what he asked for.

 

***

 

The next morning was rainy. The CIT’s were coming around lunch, but the afternoon ropes had to be cancelled if the rain kept up. 

Cas was dragging that morning, so his bunkmates left without him. The rain was steady and the clouds unmoving, so it would probably go all day. Cas pulled out his poncho, rain hat, and umbrella. 

He had forgotten his boots. In his hissy fit he was throwing Sunday, he’d left them in the trunk of his car. He groaned and looked sadly at his new sneakers. They’d be brown with mud the moment he stepped outside. Maybe he could wash them in Jam Hall, in the washing machine. 

He pulled on his poncho and trudged through the field, getting soaked up the legs of his jeans. It was too late to roll them up, so he sighed and headed down the muddy trail and up to the Barn. He was running behind already, so he decided to get coffee and skip breakfast. 

There was a pile of boots in the entryway to the dining hall. Cas carefully slipped off his squeaky wet shoes and set the to the side. He pulled off his soaked socks and put his rain gear on the hooks to dry. 

He padded to the kitchen, his bare feet slapping the floor. Everyone else was sliding around in their socks- doing their best to keep the floor dry. It was probably impossible to keep up when the kids were there.

He fumbled around pouring himself a cup of coffee- black- and headed out in the rain again to get his boots. He must have been a sight, yellow broad-brimmed rain hat, matching poncho, barefoot, with his pants rolled up holding a steaming cup of coffee and wet shoes and socks. He should have brought his umbrella, but they had been adamant about not bringing an open umbrella near the silo- something about getting struck by lightning. Seemed unlikely, but whatever. He fished his keys from his pocket and popped the trunk on his Lincoln. 

The boots were there, and halleluja! A dry pair of sweatpants. He pulled them both under his poncho and juggled everything as he half-jogged to Jam Hall. He had never been there before, but it looked dry and warm, so hell yeah. 

There was a coffee pot going in the kitchen! Cas thanked the kitchen gods and walked around until he found the laundry room. Fortune smiled on him again because it was unoccupied. He tossed his socks in the dryer and looked out the door to see if anyone was around. Everyone was at breakfast it seemed. He was so intent on getting dry boots that he didn’t bother to see who was even in there.

He pulled off the poncho and hat, and wriggled out of his wet jeans, pulling the belt and tossing them in with the socks. He threw his hoodie in for good measure. He stood barefoot and in his boxer briefs and Harvard t-shirt sipping his coffee and looking forward to a warm hoodie. It was actually shaping up to be an alright morning. He was actually pretty glad to have to put off doing the ropes course. Not his cup of tea. And seemed dangerous.

Cas heard a door open and slam shut. He quickly pulled on the sweatpants quickly and went to investigate- stopping to top off the coffee. 

There was a large central room, and what seemed to be a wraparound back porch. It might be nice to watch the rain. He pushed open the door.

“Mornin’ Sunshine,” came a familiar voice. Cas fought the warm feeling in his stomach at the nickname. 

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean was sitting comfortable on a sagging couch, smoking a cigarette and looking out at the rain. Cas moved over and flopped down on the other end, keeping a respectful distance between them. 

“Looks like we’re screwed on doing ropes today,” Dean sighed. Smoke clung to the damp air around him, hazy and dreamlike. 

“Maybe it will stop and we can do it this afternoon.”

“Yeah, it might, but we can’t take the risk that the equipment isn’t fully dry. But it’s fine. I could use the day off.”

Cas hummed in agreement. He guessed Dean needed a break- apparently he had already been here a couple of weeks working hard.

“You a Harvard man?” Dean asked, motioning to Cas’s shirt,

Cas chuckled humorlessly. “Not anymore.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. 

Cas sighed and propped his bare feet up on a chair opposite him, wiggling his toes, thinking. “I wasn’t supposed to be there. Not really. It was as if for three years I was walking around in a dream, running on autopilot, but it was someone else’s dream, you know?”

Dean nodded, but stayed silent. Cas felt the words just tumbling out.

 

“I had lived all my life doing what Father expected of me. Sports, clubs, academics. I lived in constant fear of disappointing him. Like my sister Rebecca did, when she left home. The way they almost cut her out of the family- how they spoke of her to us… It was probably scare tactics to keep us other kids in line. But it worked. Then I left to go to the school my father picked out for me, his hopes and dreams laid out before me- a life of smug lawyers, people with dollar signs in their eyes, being part of the 1%.”

“So what happened?” 

“I came out. Sort of. My parents don’t know, and I’m not really sure they would care, I’m sure they would use it to court big clients for the firm with LGBTQ ties. It’s almost fashionable in some circles.” He laughed dryly, grateful for Dean’s small smile. He sipped his coffee.

“Then I discovered I liked to paint. My therapist had suggested I watercolor or something, but I’m kind of all or nothing-”

“I’ve noticed,” Dean said with a smirk.

Cas snorted and rolled his eyes but was smiling. “I ordered way too much painting supplies online and found myself with a ton of stuff and no idea what to do with it. So I just tried it. I liked it. It was mine, my secret, something that wasn’t forced on me, something I could do and not feel like I was in someone else’s dream.”

“Can I see some of your work?”

Cas laughed. “Nope! No one ever has, not even Anna. And she’s the only one in the family who even knows why I withdrew from school. But I...I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to…”

He stopped, feeling naked. 

“That’s too bad, I bet they’re great.” 

Cas looked up and shrugged. “I like them.”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Thanks for telling me about it. Thanks for trusting me.”

Cas blinked a few times. Dean was right. He’d just divulged a few things he’d never said aloud, but it had been so easy to tell him. 

“Thanks for listening, I guess.”

“Anytime.”

A comfortable silence settled over them. They listened to the rain, and Dean smoked. Cas went to check on his clothes and topped off both of their coffees. It was almost...domestic. Weird.

Dean’s radio crackled. He picked it up and turned up the volume. 

“-there with you?”

Dean pushed the button and looked over at Cas. “Yeah he’s right here, you need to talk to him?”

Jody’s voice was clearer this time. “Tell him we need to bump up his tour of the arts and crafts barn and staff craft activity to today.”

Cas’s eyes went wide. “Dean, I don’t even have stuff yet!” he hissed.

Dean smirked and pushed the button. “Yeah, he said that’s cool. He’s ready.”

“Ok,” Jody came back with, “good. Help him out with whatever. I’ll send a few more unit counselors to help, if needed.”

Cas nodded frantically. If he got a few counselors who had been to camp before, they could help him figure out what crafts to do.

Dean winked at Cas. “Jody, he says he’s good, doesn’t need the extra help. Thanks.”

Cas scowled and glared back at Dean. “You sneaky son of a bitch.”

Dean burst out laughing. “Oh come on, I was just messing with you...you can dish it, but can you take it?”

Cas blushed at the implication but barreled through. “You better have my supplies down to the art barn by ten, or I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

“You’ll never see your bed again.”

Dean chuckled. “Okay, okay, it’ll be there. The shipment should be here within the hour, and I’ll grab Charlie and Anna to help out. Truce?”

Cas squinted at Dean warily, pretending to consider. “Okay, truce. For now.”

“Oh no, I’m still gonna get you back good. I’m just going to make you wait for it. Suspense.”

_Jesus, was he doing that on purpose?_

“We’ll see about that,” Cas said confidently. Great now he had images of Dean on his knees in front of him- 

No. Trying to stay out of that. Trying to have a friend. 

Cas stood and went to get his clothes. He put on the heated pants and jacket. He moaned at the warmth and pulled on the hot socks. It felt wonderful and dry in the chilly damp air.

Cas stood and stretched and considered his next problem: How the hell to instruct 30 adults in a camp craft? He’d have to do it in smaller groups. Split them up and have them in two rooms and then rotate. Yeah, that would work. 

Feeling a confidence in himself he hadn’t felt in awhile, he pulled on all his rain gear and popped his head out the door to say goodbye to Dean, and headed back out in the rain to grab his own walkie talkie before heading to the art barn. He turned up the volume and adjusted the squelch, catching the tail-end of a conversation.

“-on his way right now. Meet up down there around 9, I’ll be there with the truck around 10.”

“Roger that, Big Daddy, over and out.”

“Charlie. Stop.”

“Copy that, Big Daddy, Lil’ Spitfire and I will meet you at the rendezvous point at oh-nine-hundred, Big Red, over and out.”

There was crackle, but Dean didn’t respond again. Cas was grinning to himself as he slopped across the field, grateful for his waterproof boots. Big Daddy. No kidding. Cas wondered who gave Dean that nickname...then wrinkled his nose when he realized it might have been because of Anna. She wasn’t the type to make up names for people, but she was the type to tell her friend the size of a guy’s dick, even if said friend was a lesbian with an unresolved crush on her. Cas’s heart panged with a new understanding of what longing felt like. It was a new sensation he didn’t like. He pushed it away and started to plan the crafts for the afternoon.

 

****

“I swear to god, if the kids are like this, I won’t make it through the first week,” Cas grumbled as he mopped up a spilt water cup. 

Anna patted his back and rubbed soothing circles. “You have nothing to worry about. The children are little angels compared to these gorillas. Maybe some music?”

Cas nodded and wove his way through the boisterous staff members clustered at the counters of the candle room, pushing his way to the stereo. He frowned. The thing was ancient. There was a radio antenna- though he couldn’t fathom a radio station close enough to pick up a signal- and a tape deck. Who the hell used tapes anymore? Charlie rescued him and pulled a shoe box from under the counter filled with cassette tapes. 

There didn’t seem to be anything newer than 1995. He finally smirked and pulled out a best-of Billy Joel. Perfect. He’d torture them until they calmed down.

He clicked the play button, flashing back on the old stereo he had in his bedroom with the tape deck he never used- cd’s were burnable and stores didn’t really sell tapes anymore. The first few notes of _Piano Man_ plinked out of the tinny speakers. There were several groans and a few cheers, but the talking reduced, and Cas breathed deeply for the first time in an hour.

He checked the melting paraffin wax on the stove and added color to the purple wax before moving to the porch to see how the nature printing was coming. That group was sitting a little more quietly, selecting different leaves and rocks and sticks to dip in paint and stamp on the paper provided. Cas was worried they would think it was dumb- it was more a craft for the 6-year-olds, but they all seemed to be working with care, chatting and enjoying the activity. 

Cas smiled and walked around, offering praise as he assumed he should for small kids, and checked his watch. Five minutes and they would switch. He told them to start cleaning up to move on and make candles. 

Suddenly a loud refrain of singing rang from the other room.

_Sing us a song, you're the piano man_  
Sing us a song tonight  
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody  
And you've got us feelin' alright! 

Halfway through the staff on the porch joined in. Cas couldn’t help the warmth that bloomed in his chest. He smiled and felt pressure in the corners of his eyes. He ducked into the clay room to take a breath. He wasn’t used to being so emotional. 

Dean was sprawled halfway under the aging kiln, flashlight in his teeth and wires in his hands. He hadn’t noticed Cas’s presence yet, so Cas took a moment to take in his prone form.

Dean was wearing faded blue jeans, snug but not tight. He had a few bulky items in his pocket- Cas guessed keys and his cigarettes. He had on a black AC/DC shirt covered by a threadbare plaid shirt- unbuttoned, showing just a wedge of smooth skin at his hip where it rode up as he worked. His arms were toned from labor and his pectoral muscles rippled, giving Cas a little regret that he hadn’t touched Dean’s chest or licked his tattoo while he had the chance. 

Cas cleared his throat, chasing away his thoughts before they became more inappropriate. “You need anything, Dean?”

Dean poked his head out from under the dusty kiln. “Nope, I’m all set.” He stood up, brushing the clay dust from his ass and glared at the kiln. “It’s officially fried. That’s fucked up that the last guy...what's-his-name, killed it and didn’t say anything.”

Cas frowned. He had several projects for the art campers that came the second week that relied on the broken kiln. “Can we get a new one?”

“We can’t just run out to the Walmart and buy a new kiln, Cas,” Dean shot him an irritated look. “It’ll take some time to order one, have it shipped….could take up to six weeks.”

“Shit.”

“I know.”

It was time to switch the groups of staff, and they were clearly getting rowdy to _Uptown Girl._

“Billy Joel? Really Cas?” Dean’s smile was back, teasing. It put Cas at ease.

“Hey, not my fault, that’s all there was that I recognized.”

Dean hummed and looked thoughtful. “What kind of music do you like?”

Cas shrugged. “When I paint, I listen to the college radio station, but honestly, I don’t pay enough attention to it to like anything new.”

“Do you like classic rock?”

“Um, yeah, I’m American.”

Dean let out a surprised bark of laughter, delighting Cas. He’d like to hear that more.

Cas left him to his mumblings about the kiln, and went to announce that the staff needed to switch spots, and if they didn’t clean up after themselves, he’d hold them hostage and make them clean out the bathrooms while listening to the Wham! Tape he’d found in the box. The CIT’s just looked confused about who Wham! was. 

All in All, Cas was pretty pleased at how the afternoon progressed. The staff seemed happy to be able to sit and relax and make something after a few days of games, hiking, and a lot of physical activity. He had been assigned two CIT’s to help him the first week of camp, and they helped clean up and come up with ideas for age-appropriate crafts for the first week. Samandriel and Jess were enthusiastic and reassuring, and Cas started to feel a little more confident about the upcoming arrival of a couple hundred children swarming the camp. 

He was walking back to the Barn before supper when an idea hit him. Grinning to himself, he sped up, darting into the office to find Jody. He retrieved his phone from the safe and talked to her for a while and they came up with a plan. By the time the CIT’s had set the tables, they had found a newer model working kiln, being sold by a woman nearby. Cas had visited several sites like craigslist and finally narrowed in on a contact in the local artisan community. When she heard what the kiln was needed for, she dropped the price by $100 and said she’d have her husband deliver it to the camp the next day. It turned out she had gone to the camp as a child and so had her daughters. Her granddaughter was scheduled to come the third week and was signed up for the theater camp with Charlie. Jody was relieved that that it wouldn’t even make a dent in the supply budget, and Cas was relieved that he wouldn’t have to cancel all the ceramics he had planned.

Cas left the office, excited to tell Dean. Everyone was finding tables, so Cas hung his backpack up and stepped into the line for food. It was lasagna that night, and it actually smelled really good. He got his plate, suddenly struck with the realization that he was more content than he had ever been in his life. No one had been screaming expectations at him, making him feel as though he wasn’t enough, and he’d found that he was quite apt at talking to groups and explaining the projects. He searched for the emptiness and fear he’d been experiencing since realizing that he wanted something else for his life, and found it subdued. 

Victor elbowed him, calling his name, snapping him out of it. He mumbled an apology for holding up the line, and grabbed some garlic bread. He waited for Vic to get his, and they went and sat with Benny and Dean as usual. Sam was sitting with the CIT’s now, and Cas was glad for the kid- he seemed to really like the girl Jess who would be helping out in the art barn. 

Benny and Dean were whispering behind their hands, snickering. Cas narrowed his eyes, they were up to something. He glanced at Victor, who remained suspiciously stoic. Years of torture at the end of Gabriel’s antics had him on alert. It was almost a premonition.

He set his tray down a little louder than necessary, and raised a brow, staring down Dean and Benny. They looked back at him innocently. That’s all he needed to know.

“Okay, what did you do with it?”

Dean blinked. “With what?”

“You know with what. You and Big Country are over here giggling like school girls, and even Victor is trying to maintain a straight face. I assume this involves some of my belongings and perhaps...the pool? It’s a guess, but it would explain Victor’s involvement, as he would have to approve the use of the pool. So either my suitcase is submerged at the bottom of the pool, or my bed. My money’s on my bed, because soaking all my things this early in the game is too much- you have to leave something more drastic for when I retaliate. Which is inevitable.” 

Dean and Benny sat there gaping with their mouths open. Cas could swear Dean’s pupils were slightly dilated. 

“Holy shit, Sherlock,” Dean breathed, “that’s damn impressive.” He smirked. “Almost as impressive as what I did with your bed.”

 

Benny and Victor burst into laughter, but Cas’s glare never left Dean’s face. He studied the open, mischievous smile, the merry eyes, and the way Dean wet his lower lip with the tip of his tongue. Cas copied the action unknowingly, and he missed the way Vic and Benny were looking back and forth between them.

“Damn, get a room,” Vic snarked, with a knowing smile, “or at least quit eye-fucking at the dinner table, I think the cook has a rule about that or something.” 

Dean shot him a _shut up_ look and Cas sat down, wondering if Vic knew about their little...indiscretion. If he did, he didn’t seem to care. Benny had the same knowing smile. _For fuck’s sake._ Cas looked at Dean, question on his face. Dean looked slightly guilty, but shook his head so slightly at Cas- no he hadn’t told them. 

Cas dug into his lasagna, determined to pretend he wasn’t seriously curious as to what happened to his bed. The others were studying him, waiting for a reaction. He smiled plaintively at them and crunched on his garlic bread. It was really good. 

“Aren’t you the least bit concerned about what we did to your bed?” Benny asked.

“It would be quite rude of me to leave before supper is over; the cook went to the trouble of making this wonderful meal, and I intend to enjoy it.”

He had to hold back a smile as he watched the guys fidget. His calm demeanor was really getting to them. They had already finished, and appeared to be trying to will him to eat faster. He took his time, relishing the fact he turned the tables on them.

“C'mon Cas,” Dean finally growled, “hurry the hell up.”

He finally took mercy on them and smiled smugly as he picked up his tray to take back to the kitchen. It was snatched from his hands and he was bodily pushed toward the door. He slapped the hands off of him, noticing that Gabriel, Anna, Charlie, and a few others were following them. He tried to look annoyed, but he was secretly pleased and warmed by the fact he was being given so much attention. His friendships growing up in school were never like that- he was always trying to blend in with the wallpaper, ,fly under the radar. He assumed he just didn’t like the spotlight, but perhaps he’d just never really had it before. 

The little parade up the hill to the pool was giggly and excited. 

They rounded the grove of trees and the pool came into view-

He had to give them points for creativity. 

Floating in the center of the pool was his bed- perfectly made up and dry, complete with a teddy bear he didn’t recognize. It was supported by odd little plastic canoes , and floated out of reach. Victor had lit the bug-repellant tiki torches around the pool and set up Hawaiian luau decorations, complete with fake flower leis, which Charlie placed around his neck to a round of applause. 

“How the hell am I supposed to get that out of there?” He asked nobody in particular. DEan was at his elbow in a second.

“My guess is you’ll have to jump right in,” he responded with a sly smile.

“I have to admit, Dean, well played.”

“Well, I did have some help.” Dean looked over meaningfully at Benny and Victor.

“No one’s going to help me get it out, are they,” Cas sighed, remembering leaving Dean to fend for himself- that was kind of a dick move.

Dean blushed and swallowed, smile faltering for a second. He recovered quickly. _Interesting._

“Nope, you’re on your own, buddy.”

Cas almost cringed at Dean’s use of the word ‘buddy.’ They stared a little longer than necessary, especially considering they were surrounded by the rest of the adult staff (CIT’s had a training, thank god) who were singing some Elvis song and hula dancing. 

_Fuck this._ Cas decided right then and there that the kid gloves were off. It was indeed, on. 

Cas suddenly stripped his shirt off over his head, kicking off his shoes in the process. He grinned devilishly at Dean as he pulled his socks off. He stepped closer to the edge of the pool, looking like he was just about to dive in- and yanked his shorts down and dove in wearing only his snug black boxer briefs. The laughs and catcalls were raucous, but Cas barely heard them as all he could focus on was the way Dean’s breath hitched before he hit the water. 

Cas broke the surface and swam to his bed, pulling it over to the side of the pool. Charlie and Meg helped the pull the mattress off first, but his pillow and the bear still ended up wet. Cas stood there, dripping in his underwear, wondering what the hell to do first. The crowd had begun to lose interest and many left to go smoke or call home. 

Dean sauntered over, smirk playing at his lips. “Sorry your stuff got wet. Here, let's take it to the dryers at Jam.” Dean scooped up the pillow and bear. “Do you want to change, or…”

Cas looked down, suddenly feeling the cold and the lack of a towel. So it may not have been the most thought out plan, but at least his clothes were dry. 

“Yeah, let me just go down to the shower- I’ll meet you at Jam in 20. And Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“You’re a dead man.”

Dean laughed out loud in that way Cas liked and shook his head. “We’ll see.”

Cas snorted and headed barefoot down the path to the shower house. He was glad he at least had his toiletries stored in the staff side- there was a shelf above the hooks. He was pretty sure there was no towel. He’d have to stand around until he dried.

He hung his dry clothes, grateful he was alone in the showers for once. It was about another hour until it got dark, so the staff wouldn’t be down for awhile. That gave him an idea.

It had been half a week since he’d actually had some ‘alone time’. There were other guys sleeping in the cabin, so that was right out. He didn’t feel comfortable enough in the art barn to rub one out in there- it was still a weird little dirty barn to him. Though he wouldn’t mind some company… Cas stepped into the shower and put the water on as hot as he could stand it. He groaned as it beat down his back, warming his muscles. He stood leaning his forehead on his forearm against the wall for several moments, giving in to the relaxation that seeped in through his skin. He ran his other hand along his thigh, touching lightly, imagining another hand, with rough calluses, marking the trail there. Slowly, he increased pressure and pressed into the divot where his thigh met his groin, massaging before moving on the his already half-hard dick. He kept his gasp silent as he stroked along the growing sensitive flesh, only putting light pressure on his cock. He rolled his balls gently in his palm, then returned his attention to his dick, a little firmer. He imagined a taut, muscled body pressing up against his front, their fingers holding tighter. He paused, grabbed his conditioner- where was his conditioner? He rummaged in the plastic bucket that held his toiletries- the conditioner was missing. Fucking typical. Annoying, having to share space with people. Borrowing things without permission. He growled in frustration, pumping his dick again so he didn’t lose his erection. Soap could sting, shampoo was too frothy- oh, he had sunscreen. Well, when needs must. He squirted out a palmful and sighed at he slicked himself up. The consistency was just right, and he continued, picking up on a fantasy, kind of enjoying the tropical smell of the sunscreen. 

He imagined himself in the art barn, pressed up against the wall in the clay room, back naked against rough-hewn boards, and a man on his knees- he tried very hard to not make it Dean- I mean, yeah, that was obvious, but if he kept picturing Dean like that, he’d screw up trying to be friends with the guy.

Nope. Fuck it. 

Dean Winchester had his sinful lips stretched around Cas’s cock, his t-shirt rucked up- no- shirtless, looking up through those long eyelashes, and moaning on Cas’s cock. Cas would grab his hair-

Fuck it.

They were back at the BTB, Dean plastered to the tree, his hands pulling Cas’s hair firmly, but this time, he pulls Cas up to kiss him, filthily, and thrusts their cocks together holding them together while Cas fucks Dean’s fist, lacing their fingers together, looking into Dean’s expressive green eyes as they come…

Cas came with a jerk, shuddering and spilling over his hand. He laid back down on his forearm, waiting for the shakes to subside, biting his lip and chastising himself for the fantasy. _It wasn’t a good idea to dwell on things that never were._

Jesus, now he was quoting his dad in his head. That was a mood killer if there ever was one. 

He quickly rinsed off, giving up on the idea of actually showering. He turned off the water, and reached for his-

“Shit.”

Perfect. Forgot his towel and he needed to be up to meet Dean in- he checked his watch- 5 minutes. He looked at the hooks and saw a familiar sage green towel hanging in it’s normal spot. Dean’s extra towel.

Of course he was going to use it, there was no question. Hell, he owed the guy a prank and-

Oh god, it smelled heavenly. He buried his face in it, inhaling the scent of freshly showered Dean and a little chlorine, wondering what part of the towel had been used to dry what body part. He shrugged and held it up, looking for pubic hairs, feeling like a perv, but saw none twisted into the loops of fabric. He paused and looked up at Dean’s shower bucket, pulling it down. Shampoo, soap, a razor, a fancy one with multiple blades- dear god, he shaved. He knew for a fact Dean kept his shaving kit for his face in his cabin- he had moved it when he moved Dean’s bag. This one had another purpose. Cas shivered, still naked and clutching the towel. His eye caught on something in the bucket. Was that? It was his missing shampoo. _Dean_ had stolen his shampoo! He took his bottle back and put Dean’s shower bucket and his own away, drying his hair absently with the towel. He hung his dripping underwear up on his hook and squinted. He supposed it would be fine, it was really no different than hanging up his suit to dry. He put on his clothes, giggling at the free-ball sensation of going commando- it had been years since he’d gone without. Felt nice. 

He put on the backpack and hung the towel back up where he got it, and headed up Pine Hill to Jam Hall. It was a little more than 25 minutes. His pillow would be dry.

What about that bear? He’d never owned a teddy bear or childhood plush toy- his father insisted they were too girly. Maybe Dean bought it for him? He warmed at the thought. What was that even about? Maybe just to make the bed more staged, to look like Cas was a baby or something. 

He contemplated it, watching the sky get darker as he walked. The days were getting longer, and hotter. The crickets started making noise, loud and chaotic, mixed with the shrill cries of tiny tree frogs. Jam hall was full of activity, people using the showers, doing laundry, laughing and talking on the back porch. A group had started up a nightly game of Cards Against Humanity, and they were being rowdy and having fun. Cas found Dean in his usual spot- on the back porch, smoking, looking like he had not a care in the world. Cas tried very hard to keep all the fantasies of the man at bay, though they paled in comparison to the real deal. 

Dean smiled softly, motioning to the seat next to him. The pillow was dry, with the little bear perched on it. Cas patted it on the head.

“What’s with the bear?”

“What? You don’t like the bear?” Dean asked in mock offense. “Quiet or you’ll hurt his feelings.”

“Oh, I see, I must be nice to the bear.” Cas moved the pillow and sat next to Dean (but still a couple feet apart) and sat the bear in his lap. It was still warm from the dryer and smelled faintly like Dean’s fabric softener. “Does he have a name?”

“Of course he has a name...um, his name is…”

“Chuck,” Cas said quickly. “His name is Chuck.”

Dean smiled broadly. “I was going to say he looks like a Chuck.”

Cas smiled. There was a silence that settled over the two. Cas frantically searched for something to say.

“You stole my shampoo,” he blurted out. 

Dean’s face pinked and his eyes darted around. “Oh, yeah, I forgot to put it back i guess,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s cool, I, um, you can use it if you need to.”

Dean seemed to only flush harder. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “So, you ready to do ropes tomorrow?” 

Cas shook his head slowly. “I am not so sure about hights, Dean. I haven’t even braved the swinging bridge yet.”

“What? Seriously?” Dean looked incredulous. “That’s like the first thing people want to do when they come here. It’s really cool. Hey! Let’s go do that right now!”

Cas swallowed. He wasn’t prepared for that, and it was getting dark. “I don’t know…”

“Aw, come on, I swear it will be fun. We’ll walk over when the girls go back up later. Let me see when they’re leaving.” Dean jumped up and walked to the card game going on. Cas had to admit being a little disappointed that his sister might go with them. 

Dean came back frowning. “They’re staying down in Pine Hill tonight so they can play cards late. Hope Jody doesn’t catch them.”

Cas sighed, relieved. “Oh too bad, maybe some-”

“Too bad they’ll miss out on this!” Dean held up something that looked suspiciously like a rolled joint.

“Really, Dean,” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Really,” he said gleefully, “we’ll go to Hogan and drop off your pillow and Chuck, then go smoke in Julie’s Hollow, then it should be dark enough to go sit in the middle of the bridge and scare the crap out of you.”

“Okay, it seems like we’re going to be walking several miles.”

“Pssht. We’ll take Baby for most of it.”

“Baby?”

Dean smirked. “You haven’t been properly introduced.”

“You’re talking about your car.”

“Bingo! Now come on, get the lead out.”

Cas sighed, but got up to follow him anyway. Drugs? Cas was unsure about that. He had drank many times (not enough to get really drunk, though), but had never gotten the nerve up to try marijuana. Gabriel was a part-time stoner, and even Anna had come home from parties a little high, but he’d just...never had the opportunity. Or another way of saying that was he had never made any friends close enough to do something like that with.

He had to admit he was curious. Dean dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the Impala and leaned across the seat and unlocked Cas’s door. They rolled down the windows to release the stifling heat that had built up in there during the day. When Dean turned the ignition, Loud rock music blared through the speakers, which Dean quickly down. 

“Sorry, I was kind of jamming out when parked earlier.”

“It’s cool. Is this Bob Seger?”

“Yeah! Good ear.” Dean pulled out in a smooth move, and rolled down the gravel toward Hogan. 

Cas ran his hands over the leather of the seat. “You take very good care of this car,” he observed.

“Yeah, she was my mom’s, then when she died, Baby came to Dad...and now she’s mine.”

Cas didn’t press for details, but he was really curious. Maybe if he just waited, Dean would open up a bit more. The man stayed silent.

Cas smacked his forehead. “Oh! I forgot to tell you, because of the whole pool prank thing, but Jody and I found a local artist willing to sell her old kiln for $180. He husband is bringing it by tomorrow.”

Dean glanced over at him, stunned, a smile making it’s way across his face. He pulled up to the field and stopped and put it in park. 

“Hey, really? That’s great, you didn’t have to do that,” Dean said.

“I really want the kids to do clay, I think they’ll really like it.”

“Yeah.” Dean had a inscrutable look on his face, as if he were seeing Cas for the first time. Cas cleared his throat, embarrassed at the attention. 

“Let me run take my pillow.” Cas got out and walked the short side of the field to his cabin. He dropped off the pillow, noting his mattress was still missing, and shrugged and grabbed his hoodie. He paused, wondering if he should put new underwear on, but decided not to- didn’t want to keep Dean waiting.

He almost ran back across the field to the waiting car when it struck him. Was this a date? It kind of felt like a date. Although he wasn’t sure exactly sure what a date should feel like. All he’d ever done was cruise a bar, pick up a decently good-looking man, go to their place and fuck for a few hours. This was different. Maybe this was what friends do when they hang out. Yeah, that had to be it. 

Dean drove them deep into Julie’s Hollow just as the sun went down. Dean flipped on his lights, but just for a moment before they were parking by a small cabin surrounded by several upside-down silver canoes. Cas hadn’t been down there yet, so he got out and poked around. 

Cedar Creek was only dubbed a creek and not a river due to the length. It was only a half a mile short to be considered a river, but it carried water the width of one. It was fairly calm where they were, but Cas could hear the water rushing further downstream. All the rain had brought its level a little higher up the bank. It smelled dark and earthy, and Cas breathed it in. 

He also smelled sweetly acrid smoke. A smell that was oddly reminiscent of Gabriel’s room. He turned around to see Dean struggling with a canoe.

“Get over her and help me flip this,” He mumbled around the joint sticking out of his mouth.

Cas did so, and snorted in amusement when Dean climbed into the grounded canoe and sat in the bottom, leaning back against what looked like a seat. Cas shrugged and joined him, trying to feign nonchalance.

“I’ve never smoked weed before,” He said without really meaning to.

Dean looked up, surprised. “Oh, shit, is this okay? I never even thought to ask because Anna and Gabe, well…”

Cas chuckled. “It’s cool, Dean, I just never got around to doing it.” He stepped into the canoe and sat in the bottom against the other seat, facing Dean, who handed over the joint.

“Just suck on it and breath in,” Dean flushed at his own words and Cas raised an eyebrow and smirked. 

“I have smoked a cigar before, at Father’s practice.” He took a hit and started coughing right away. It made him dizzy, but he passed it back and studied his friend.

“You sound so formal when you say ‘Father,’” said Dean, around a lungful of smoke, “you sound like a Von Trapp kid or something.”

“Well, he’s a formal kind of guy, I guess,” Cas grinned. His head felt oddly light, like a balloon, but not unpleasant. “I had to wear suits all the time after the age of 16.”

“What?” Dean found that particularly hilarious for some reason and couldn’t stop laughing, so Cas had to take the joint back from him. 

“I don’t see what’s so funny, I look damn good in a suit.”

Dean wheezed and wiped an eye. “I’ll bet you do.”

Cas pulled on the joint and blew out the smoke into the indigo sky. The stars were becoming visible. “I like it out here, it’s beautiful.”

Dean was watching Cas closely, seeming about to speak. Cas waited patiently and passed back the little remnants of the joint. Dean took it, and their fingers pressed together, causing a little fizzle of energy to jolt down Cas’s arm. His (now very dry feeling) eyes flicked up to meet Dean’s. Dean hit the last little bit and snubbed it out on the heel of his boot. 

“Do you know anything about astronomy?” Dean asked suddenly.

Cas shook his head. “I know the Big Dipper and Little Dipper, but that’s about it.”

Dean looked into the sky thoughtfully. “My Mom loved the stars. She used to bring us out her sometimes, away from the lights of the city, lay out on a blanket in this field and stargaze. She would tell me about the constellations, and I’m pretty sure she made up a few of them.” He laughed, caught in a memory. He pointed over Cas’s head. “There, that one, is Cassiopeia. She was a Greek queen, or something, and was like, really vain. He daughter ended up tied to a rock? I don’t remember how- but whatever, she was rescued by Perseus. _Clash of the Titans_ Perseus.”

“I don’t know about the Titan thing, but I did take Greek in school, so it all sound vaguely familiar.” Cas was trying to swivel in his seat to see, but his limbs weren’t cooperating and he ended up laying on his back with his feet dangling over the side of the canoe. Something about it set Dean off again, and Cas started chuckling too, everything seeming too funny for no reason. He felt euphoric. It was probably the effects of the drug, but Cas thought Dean had something to do with it. 

“Is that comfortable down there?” Dean asked when he got ahold of himself.

“Not really,” Cas wiggled, “there’s a line sticking in my spine. I need a pillow or something.”

Dean was howling with laughter again. It took Cas a second, but he caught on and laughed about the irony of just having returned his pillow to his cabin. It was way funnier than it should have been.

“Dean, where’s the rest of my bed?”

“Oh shit, I almost forgot.” He stood quickly, rocking the canoe, and staggered out to his car. Cas had to sit up, making his head spin, to watch. Dean popped the trunk and pulled out Cas’s sleeping bag and blanket. He held them up triumphantly and Cas cheered. He got out for a second while Dean laid the bedding down carefully.

“There you go, fit for a king,” Dean said happily.

“Or a queen,” Cas quipped. That started them off again, and Cas had to sit down before he fell down from laughter. He got back in the canoe, but laid in it like a bed. “Oh, wow, stars, Dean look!” 

Dean was looking down at him in the dark, and Cas couldn’t see his face. He wanted him closer, he wanted to see him. 

“Come on, just get in here, Dean, look at the stars,” he whined impatiently. Dean got in carefully, sliding down next to Cas, shoulder to shoulder, the length of their bodies pressed together. “Mmm, you’re warm,” Cas said happily. “I’m glad we did this. Thank you for taking me out in the woods and drugging me. Good times.”

Dean snorted. “You make it sound so romantic, like I clubbed you over the head and dragged you out here.”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t have had to do that Dean, I would have come willingly,” Cas said sincerely. “I like you, Dean, I like being around you.”

“I like being around you too.”

Something about the weed was making Cas forget to think before he spoke apparently. He decided he didn’t care.

“So Dean,” he said conversationally, “what’s the deal. Are you bisexual? Bi-curious? What’s up with that?” Cas meant it to sound light and teasing, but it sounded more serious than he thought.

Dean sighed and Cas worried he’d crossed a line. But Dean turned his head slightly to look at him. “You know, I’ve kind of wondered about that myself. It’s not like I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to get fucked by a dude, okay wait maybe I didn’t mean to say that out loud…”

Cas shifted to his side so Dean could see him more clearly. “No, it’s okay, I’m not going to judge what you say, and would never tell anyone the things you tell me.”

Dean paused and turned to his side too, tangling their legs, due to lack of room. Cas held his breath then shifted his legs until they were comfortable with Dean’s.

“You know what?” Dean asked. “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. You know? Like I can just trust you. Is that weird?”

“No,” Cas breathed. They were speaking quieter, the crickets loud around them. “I feel like that too.”

“I was at Walmart earlier, and I saw the bear and was just like, Cas would like that, and I have no fucking clue what made me think that, but I just got it anyway. Do you really like it?”

“Yes, it was very thoughtful,” Cas said, his eyelids feeling heavy, “you are a very thoughtful person. I’m glad we met. I’m glad I came to camp.”

“Me too,” Dean said, yawning and working the blanket out from under them, covering them against the night chill. “I’m glad I kissed you back.”

Cas was unsure if he dreamed that last part, because he was soon in very deep, comfortable sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no excuse for the smut I've written here. 
> 
> Ask me if I give a care

The warm morning sun peeked through the trees, flickering across Dean’s face as the breeze blew gently. He floated between sleep and wakefulness, enjoying the sturdy warmth along his back. His shoulder ached a little- his bed felt harder than it should. In fact, the angle of the sun was all wrong. He froze, opening his dry eyes a crack, confused momentarily by the dull silver wall in front of him. Then it all came back to him. 

The canoe. They had fallen asleep in the canoe and never made it to the swinging bridge. 

As Dean became more aware, he started cataloguing the sensations along his back and left side where Cas was draped. His face was buried in the nape of Dean’s neck, little sleeping breaths huffing against the back of his ear. Cas’s arm was around his waist, his hand resting on Dean’s right pectoral, relaxed finger brushing Dean’s nipple every time he inhaled. Cas had his leg slung over Dean’s hip, holding him down with a comfortable weight. Dean inhaled deeply, and shifted backward, just a little closer- and there was Cas’s morning erection, pressing back against his left buttock. Cas made a shallow thrust back against him in his sleep, and Dean had to bite his lip to keep from shuddering. His own cock strained to full attention, pressing against his zipper. 

He should probably roll away- sit up or something, it wasn’t right. Cas was asleep-

“Pardon my boner,” mumbled Cas against his neck, causing him to start, then snort. He couldn’t help the goofy smile spreading across his face. Guess Cas was awake. 

Cas shifted his hips slightly back, but didn’t take his leg off Dean or let go of his torso. 

“Sorry,” Cas murmured, smile evident in his voice, “I’m not really used to sleeping next to anyone.”

Dean hummed back, but didn’t pull away, not wanting to speak in case Cas was still kind of asleep. It was selfish, but he couldn’t help it. 

“Is this okay?” The nerves in Cas’s voice caused a storm of butterflies to unleash in Dean’s stomach. He was surely awake. Dean paused, and could feel Cas start to pull away. He grabbed his retreating arm and held it, wrapping it back around himself. It was okay, this was just kind of a cuddle- 

Cas pulled on Dean’s shoulder until Dean wiggled and rolled over to face him, rearranging their legs in the confined space. He opened his eyes, met by concerned blue ones, uncertain. Dean didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want to get up yet. He liked the weight of Cas’s arm over his middle. He wanted to look down to see if he was still hard- but he couldn’t look away from Cas’s sky blue eyes. 

He started giggling, causing Cas to frown. “What?”

“I never took you to the bridge last night,” he said, his chuckles slowing down.

“Your breath is atrocious,” Cas said, wrinkling his nose.

“Yeah, well, yours smells like the south end of a north-bound mule.”

Cas turned to the sky and coughed out a laugh, his nose wrinkling and his eyes merry. He pulled his arm back and yanked out the one that had been wedged between them, stretching them over his head and yawning, popping his neck and letting out a near pornographic moan. 

Dean’s eyes swept the length of his body. Yep, still hard. Dean’s dry mouth watered slightly.

Cas turned, catching him looking. He smirked. “Thanks for last night. I really had fun.”

“Yeah, me too,” Dean said, catching his yawn. They stared for a second, both seeming reluctant to get up out of their make-shift bed. Dean was sure he’d never look at a canoe the same ever again. “What time is it?”

Cas checked his watch. “Fuck, it’s already 7:30. I need to go get changed. Fuck. I really need coffee.” He sat up with a wince. 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Dean said, sitting up and shaking his numb limbs. He climbed out and walked to the Impala again, popping open the trunk. Cas followed, pulling out his blanket and sleeping bag to put back in the trunk.

Dean proudly held up a new coffee pot, still in the box. Cas gasped and dropped his things, grabbing it and hugging it to his chest. He had a crazy look in his eyes. “But do you have-”

 

Dean held up a canister of coffee. Cas whooped and grabbed it too, cradling it alongside the coffee maker. He looked blissful.

“You are my new favorite person ever,” he sighed dreamily. Dean blushed and shrugged, shoving Cas’s stuff back in the trunk. 

“It’s for the art barn. I don’t know, I was at Walmart and thought, hey why not? If you have to listen to crappy eighties pop, you might as well be full of caffeine.”

Cas was looking at him strangely. Dean ignored what it was doing to his gut and they got into the car. Dean reached in the backseat, popping open his ancient green cooler and handed Cas a bottle of water. He groaned and turned it up, drinking greedily. Dean swallowed, watching Cas’s throat ripple, his own mouth drying.

“Does marijuana alway make you so dehydrated?” Cas asked, tilting his head in that way that reminded Dean of a curious puppy.

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean shrugged and put Baby in drive. He was so pleased at Cas’s reaction to both the bear and coffee pot. He had the brilliant idea of getting Hawaiian decorations for the prank on the way to his weekly shopping run, and had seen the bear in the party aisle when someone had left it. Dean really couldn’t justify buying it for him, and was glad Cas didn’t press him for a reason, because he honestly didn’t know why he got it. Then he said fuck it and bought the coffee pot. He liked the idea of hanging out at the art barn when ropes got cancelled because of rain, drinking coffee with Cas. He was just being friendly, right? Making his new friend welcome? 

He had no idea why he was still trying to lie to himself. Part of him knew what this was about, and part of him desperately Did Not want it to be that- if it was truly one-sided, he didn’t know if he could deal with being crushed. The good thing was that apparently Cas hadn’t had many friends before and may not know exactly what the boundaries of friendship were. 

Dean had never spent the night spooning in a canoe with Benny. He supposed he would, if it was a matter of not freezing to death, or something, but he didn’t like the idea of Benny having morning wood in that close proximity. 

They drove back to Hogan in comfortable silence, listening to Pink Floyd. Cas started singing the lyrics to _Wish You Were Here,_ under his breath, and Dean got chills. 

This could be a problem because now he wanted to make Cas a mixtape. Fuck.

********

 

Dean had been busy the past couple of days. After being left leaning half-dressed against a tree, stunned and tingling from the best blow job he’d ever had in his life, things started to click in his head. 

Okay, so he did like guys, or at least he liked this one. And he’d just been through a experience that had rocked his world. And he had to get his bed off the roof. 

He had ended up calling around on the unit phone to find Benny to come help him get the bed off the roof. And plan revenge. 

It was hard to focus on said revenge when snippets of the encounter with Cas kept flashing through his head. How was he supposed to face him? Pretend it didn’t happen?

Getting off campus for a couple of hours and wandering around Walmart had helped. Dean got the decorations first, then the coffee pot. The bear had ridden in the cart, seeming to smile knowingly at him as he traversed the aisles. He had had a short list of personal items to get, which had lead him to the pharmacy section. On the way to get a new bottle of conditioner, he passed the razors and stopped to get one first. His brain must have been still pretty addled with hormones, because that had to be the only explanation for what he bought. He was looking for a razor for some manscaping- he didn’t like the one he had in the shower house. He didn’t mind hair in the winter, but the feeling of freshly shaved balls in the heat of the summer seemed to cool him by several degrees. He was looking at the sale items and found it. 

He picked it randomly, looking at the 5 blades, not really caring-

But it had a vibrating feature. He squinted and read on the package why this was necessary, but it seemed unnecessary. He stared at the smooth handle of the razor and detachable blades then pushed the button that was labeled ‘try me.’

It buzzed quietly in his hand, the vibrations strong in his fingertips.

He’d never before wanted so badly to put something in his ass.

Dean felt like the whole store knew what he was up to when he walked to the checkout. He chose to do self-checkout and struggle with the machine instead of having to look a checker in the eye while buying the razor and a pack of triple A batteries. 

He had driven back to camp a little too fast, parked at the infirmary, and fast walked to the shower house. He was early for his meet up with Benny to go steal Cas’s bed, and he knew the staff wouldn’t be around for at least another 30 minutes, so he had time to hop in the shower. He checked his phone and saw he had a few bars, which was unusual. He typed ‘prostate stimulation’ in the search bar and hit go. He thumbed images and scrolled through and found a decent-looking medical chart that pinpointed where the prostate was located. He was sure with a little careful probing, he could find it.

Which is when he realized he forgot to buy conditioner. 

With hardly any reservation, he grabbed Cas’s bucket down and grabbed the guy’s expensive conditioner, sniffing it. _God,_ it smelled like Cas. Perfect. He fumbled to open the razor, popped the blade off and left the shopping bag on the bench. He grabbed his towel and yanked the curtain closed. 

He turned the razor on right away (his dick had been half-hard since the parking lot of the Walmart) and held it to the base of his shaft, letting the vibrations bring him to full hardness. He poured some of Cas’s shampoo in his palm, the smell filling his nostrils, bringing him back to the tree at BTB, his hands clinging to Cas’s hair. He coated his cock liberally and stood with the hot water on his back and slicked up the vibrating handle of the slender razor. He had known about prostate stimulation, hell, he’d seen plenty of gay porn (hmmm, that could have been a sign), but he hadn’t gotten up the nerve to try it. He teased the razor along his perineum, pressing, and moving it as he stroked his cock slowly. He’d have to keep quiet, he wasn’t sure if Donna was in the Infirmary or not- he hadn’t bothered to check in his haste. Hopefully she was with Jody at the Barn.

He couldn’t hold back a gasp as he pushed against his hole, pressing but not breaching yet. He sped up his hand and pressed a little harder and tried to relax. The tapered handle slipped in just a little, vibrating his rim, making his legs shake. He really, really liked it. He put his weight on the wall with his shoulder and hiked a leg up onto the low shelf on the back wall to gain better access. When the angle changed, he sank the razor handle deeper, making him moan and release his dick in favor of holding himself up by holding the top of the partition. His cock throbbed, holding hard and erect without his hand. He watched it as he slowly pulled the razor out a little and sank it in a little deeper. Pre-come pulsed out, dribbling down to the floor, making spikes of pleasure dance all over his skin. He slowly pumped the handle in and out, a little deeper, pausing sometimes to run the tip around the rim, pulling at it some, wondering about how much it could stretch, what it would be like to push in something with a bigger girth. Cas’s hand around his own dick flashed in his mind, and he shook, thrusting the handle in further, his hole seeming to gobble it up, the ridges of it dragging along inside him, achy, but a _good_ achy, and he twisted it, angling it, searching for the bundle of nerves close-ish to his entrance and toward the front. 

He knew when he found it, because he almost fell down. The white-hot electricity that shot through him was overwhelming. He pulled back slightly and tried again, gripping the wall harder, watching his cock pulse more precome out. He twisted the handle around, trying to stretch himself a little more, working up to trying his prostate again. He paused and added more conditioner to his hand, and bravely worked his index finger in alongside the razor handle. The stretch burned a little, but it felt so fucking good, and he pulled at his rim again, wanting to put more fingers in. Hell, he wanted to jam like three in, to feel full, picturing himself writhing around on Cas’s hard cock jammed in there- He pressed in further, the handle caught his prostate again, and he came hard, the image of fucking Cas changing to the one of his fingers touching his lip as he looked at Dean in wonder after their first soft kiss. Clinging desperately to consciousness, he felt his finger clamped down on in spasms, as he shot out the biggest load of come on the wall and floor of the shower. It seemed to go on forever, the waves of pleasure igniting his nerve endings and sending shockwaves to every part of him. His cock pulsed weakly as he pulled his finger out of his sore hole, then the vibrating razor handle. He turned it off, stunned, watching his come slowly go down the drain. He scrubbed the razor with his soap and put the blade on, not bothering to even pretend to shower- he didn’t have time anyway. He tossed everything in his bucket and turned off the water and wrapped his green towel around his waist. He sat on the bench with shaky legs, wincing at the soreness of his asshole. He had relished that he would be walking around with that feeling and no one would know, it was his little secret. 

The image of Cas’s surprise when Dean kissed him remained in his mind long after.

 

********

“Dammit, I don’t need your help!” Cas griped agitatedly, clinging with a death grip to Dean’s arm. 

“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, Castiel!” Anna piped up behind him. Dean grinned at her, thankful for the backup. Cas had been nothing but a pain in the ass ever since they had crossed the swinging bridge after breakfast to go train at the ropes course that morning.

They were currently dangling 45 feet off the ground, wrapped tightly in webbing and hooked safely to the rigging in the trees. The challenge was to walk across (still attached safely to a steel cable strung taut between the trees) a series of rope obstacles with two other staff members, as a team building exercise. Dean had suggested Cas go first, after the debacle at the bridge, and Cas insisted his sister join them. Dean couldn’t honestly give two fucks about the implications, it was what made Cas feel safe, so Anna was harnessed and sent up the trees too. 

“Ow, shit Cas, you’re pinching me,” Dean hissed, “the cable will hold, just let go.”

Cas narrowed his eyes dangerously. He reminded Dean of a very angry kitten. “This is all your fault, you and your, ‘get it over with, Cas, so you don’t get nervous watching the others.’ You with your stupid face and convincing eyes.”

Dean grinned and rubbed his arm when Cas moved his grip over. “My eyes? How exactly are my eyes convincing?”

Cas rolled his eyes and growled. “You know very well what I mean, now get me down!”

“Get yourself down, since you don’t need anyone’s help.” Dean smiled smugly.

Cas muttered darkly something that sounded like, “-wasn’t so hot, I’d still be on the ground.”

“What was that?”

“Shut up. Okay, smartguy, what do I do?”

Hey, that’s Mr. Smartguy, and you have another person behind you, so use your resources.”

Cas took a deep breath and slumped.

Dean exhaled, feeling like they were getting somewhere. Cas was so friggin’ stubborn! But it looked like he had finally surrendered and would ask for help. 

“Anna, could you please come help me move this clip to the next tree? I seem to be crippled by this assbutt who won’t pull me up.”

“Hey,” Dean said, still calm and smiling, “I never said I wouldn’t pull you up. You just haven’t asked me properly.” His smile widened at the furious look Cas shot him.

“Well, excuse me, Dean Fucking Winchester, Prince of Trees and High Things, can you find it in your heart to do me the pleasure of saving my ass from plummeting to my death?”

“You hear that Dean-o?” Gabriel called from below, “You’re the Prince of High Things!”

“Shut up, Gabriel!” shouted Anna, Cas, and Dean in unison, for what had to be the 50th time. He was being less than helpful. 

“Come on Cas, you can do it,” Anna urged from behind him, holding the back of his harness so he could hook his carabiner to the next tree himself. Cas took a shaky hand from Dean’s arm and fumbled the clip, moving it quickly and snapping it into place. He sighed. 

“You guys are killing me.”

“Just wait until the zip line at the end!” Gabe called up.

“SHUT UP, GABRIEL!” shouted Anna and Dean, while Cas just looked at Dean with wide eyes saying, “zip line?”

“It’s okay, Cas it’s the best part. It’s perfectly safe, I promise.”

Cas chewed his lip, looking more scared than the agitation he’d been showing earlier, which Dean immediately had pegged as a defense mechanism when it showed up at the swinging bridge. Cas didn’t trust anyone. 

“Cas.” Cas looked up at him, all wide blue eyes and furrowed brow. “I won’t let you fall, trust me.”

Cas nodded slowly, keeping steady contact. “I trust you, Dean.” Dean withheld a shiver.

Anna looked over Cas’s shoulder at Dean, smiling knowingly. Dean carefully kept his face open and ignored her. 

“Okay, Cas, just one more obstacle- this one is easier than it looks.”

Cas clung to the tree and looked at the parallel cables, rope woven back and forth between them. Every obstacle had a third line above that you clipped your harness to on long straps, so if you slipped, you fell 3 feet and would swing easy from the harness around your waist and legs. Dean had showed him several times, but it still freaked Cas out and he refused to try it. The zip line would be hell.

Anna put a reassuring hand on his arm. “Just hang onto the top cable and step wide with your right foot, and follow it with your left, don’t cross them.”

Cas shot her a small grateful smile that made Dean’s heart clench. Dean switched his clips to the next line and leaned back, just supported by his harness, feet planted on the bottom cable, staying just in front of Cas for support. Cas adjusted his helmet, and stared down the line, with a new determination. Dean breathed a sigh of relief.

Cas called out that he was switching cables, “moving,” and the crowd called back, “move on.”

Dean hoped Cas saw the significance of the safety ritual. 

Cas started slow, not crossing over his hands or feet, and edged along the cable, stepping carefully between the rope web. He gained speed toward the end and stepped up to the platform, whooping loud to the cheers from the ground. It reminded Dean of Cas’s reaction to the coffee pot. 

“Way to go, little bro, I knew you could do it!” Gabe grinned. 

“You’re the wind beneath my wings,” Cas snarked down to him, a cautious smile touching his lips. Dean focused on the task at hand: talking Cas off the ledge. Literally.

The final challenge of the course was a zip line that out over a gorge, which dropped 150 feet. It was intimidating, but incredibly fun. 

Cas called to switch his clips, standing very close to Dean on the 3x3 foot wooden platform. Dean caught a whiff of Cas’s conditioner and held himself back from leaning in to smell it. SInce that morning, the physical boundaries were almost non-existent. They had sat _very_ close at breakfast, knees brushing and elbows bumping, pretending not to notice people watching. But no one commented on it. Benny just grinned at Dean, so Dean just ignored him. Cas seemed perfectly content, babbling about his new coffee pot and how he needed to paint something soon. Something about pet rocks and craft paint. Dean put paint and brushes on his mental supply list for the next run to town. Maybe Cas would go with him to pick out what he wanted. That thought made him so happy he had to bite back a smile. 

Cas was shaking. He grabbed Dean’s hand and squeezed, gnawing on his lip again. Dean licked his lips absently and tried to keep his eyes on Cas’s. 

“Look Cas, this is the best part. You just have to let go. I know you’re a stubborn motherfucker, and it’s hard as hell, but you sometimes just have to have faith that things will be okay, that good things do happen, and the people who care about you have your back, no matter what.”

Cas looked stunned, and stopped shaking. “You- you care about me?” 

Dean furrowed his brows. “Yeah, of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

Cas raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t know, because we’ve barely known each other 4 days?”

Dean huffed out a laugh. “Seriously? Seems longer than that, doesn’t it?”

Cas smiled hesitantly. “Yeah, I guess it does. I, um, care about you too, Dean.”

Nothing could prepare him for the warmth that bloomed in Dean’s chest at his words. He felt cheesy, but he grinned and squeezed Cas’s hand again, thinking a hug might be a bit much, especially in front of such a big crowd.

“Could you two lovebirds hurry it up?” Gabe shouted, “Some of us want to go on this thing before sundown.”

“SHUT UP, GABRIEL!” the entire staff shouted, laughing.

Cas was smiling again, this time more sure. “Okay, Dean, I trust you, I’ll do it.” He stepped to the front of Dean and moved the clips to the zip line. Hannah signaled from the bottom that she was ready for him to jump, and he called back he was ready to jump. He gave Dean one more smile and took a deep breath. Dean was struck in that moment how beautiful Cas looked when he was truly ready to let go. Eyes clear and bright, pink high on his cheeks, lips parted with quick breaths, his mop of hair hardly tamed beneath the helmet. Dean felt himself fall the moment Cas jumped, suddenly ready to fly, and rocketed down the line grinning manically and whooping back to the cheers from the staff on the ground. 

Anna joined Dean on the platform, looking fondly after her brother as he turned upside down to slide back down the line toward them. She twitched a smile at Dean. “Oh man, you got it bad.”

She wasn’t wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #noshame


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having a grand ol' time with life rn. yay. 
> 
> as usual, i didnt beta thins bc im a lazy sonofabitch
> 
> but i love all of you

6666666666666666666

 

Cas couldn’t sleep.

If he only had his phone, he could read or something…

He rolled over, yet again, trying to keep the springs from squealing and waking his bunkmates. He felt fidgety and restless, and the usual way of relieving stress to fall asleep was out of the question. He really needed to paint. 

It was Saturday tomorrow, which meant one more night before the children arrived for the first session would begin. And Cas would either sink or swim. He supposed he was as ready as he could possibly be, it was just nerve-wracking to think he’d be responsible for other people's’ precious babies when he’d never even been able to keep a houseplant alive. Not that he’d really tried. His life had always been lived in such solitude that he’d never been given the chance to see how it felt to be part of a group, to be accepted as an individual within the collective- a member of a team. Sure, he’d been on swim team, chess team, and a mathlete, but all those groups were encouraged to compete within themselves with each other, and Cas had learned from his father that there were no real friends in this life, only allies. 

But it was a lie. And it had been proven countless times over the span of 5 days. These people didn’t want anything from him. Not really. They expected him to be civil, and to do his job, but they didn’t demand perfection and they encouraged him in the way Anna always had. He wished he had spent his summers at Camp instead of working in the firm. 

Cas idly thought of Wednesday night and sleeping in the canoe with Dean. He had been so comfortable, it was so easy to drift off to sleep. His body had been so warm and inviting against Cas’s, and he was reluctant to get up. 

He was really glad Dean wasn’t embarrassed about his morning wood. He was kind of (really very much) hoping Dean would have ground back into him, but that wasn’t really how they were, so it was okay. Cas was just happy Dean seemed to be accepting of Cas’s newfound desperate need for physical contact. He’d never been a very touchy-feely person, except for maybe Anna, and knew it was because he didn’t receive many hugs or affectionate touches growing up. Over the course of the week, he ended up in many situations where it was necessary to be shoulder-to-shoulder with the other staff members, and after some first awkward moments, he had accepted many hugs. Everyone was really huggy. Even the men. It was different, but after the initial shock of it, Cas began to feel like it was vital to his day to have some sort of physical touch. 

Of course, physical touch was way better when it came from Dean. 

Cas finally drifted off thinking about Dean, touching his arm solidly, telling him everything would be okay, and then the proud look on Dean’s face as Cas zoomed away from him down the zip line. 

 

********

Cas woke to the soft scratch of the screen door of the cabin open and close, and the thumping of footsteps retreating to the steps. He opened his eyes, blinking in the brightness of the early morning, spying Sam’s empty bed. He sat up and looked out the window- it had to only be about 6:30. He checked his watch, confirming that,and decided his bladder couldn’t wait any longer, and got up. 

He smiled at Sam as he walked past him on the steps to the latrines, and Sam grinned wide at him, but they stayed silent which Cas was grateful for. Mornings weren’t his strong suit, which was why getting his own coffee pot was so awesome. 

Sam was still sitting on the steps, writing something, perhaps a letter, when Cas returned. He sat on the steps next to him and yawned hard enough to crack his jaw. Sam caught the yawn, and smiled warmly at him.

“You ready for the kids to come?” Sam asked.

Cas shook his head slowly, still feeling fuzzy. “I have no idea. I haven’t really had a lot of experience with kids...not even when I was one. But I liked teaching you guys to do crafts. It was really great to see what everyone came up with. Like I had some part in it- like...I had passed on some ancient wisdom and… okay, I’m still half asleep, pay no attention to me.”

Sam laughed quietly, still mindful of Benny and Andy sleeping. 

“No, I totally get it. There’s something about knowing you’re helping to shape the minds of children. Rewarding.” Sam looked down, sheepishly. “Well, that’s how Jess says it.”

Cas smiled sleepily. “You really like her, huh?”

“Shut up, no I don’t,” Sam said, grinning.

“Yeah, you do. That’s great, she’s really...great.” He shrugged at his lack of adjectives.

“Oh yeah? Well you really like Dean,” Sam said smugly.

Cas was suddenly very awake. “What do you mean by that?” he asked carefully. This was Dean’s little brother. He needed to tread lightly.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Sam grinned openly, rolling his eyes. “You guys are so gross, ugh. You know, like _cute_ gross.”

Cas blinked, not knowing exactly how to interpret that. Sam must have seen his confusion, because he rushed to explain. 

“I just mean you guys seem to be...close. I know you like him, and he likes you too. It’s cool, I think he’s needed a friend like you for a long time. I know Dean seems all open and balanced and all ‘namaste’ and stuff, but he’s miles from where he was just a couple of years ago.” 

“How so?”

“We didn’t have it easy after mom died.”

Cas furrowed his brow. He wasn’t sure if it was okay for Sam to be telling him that, be he was just so damn curious. He waited for Sam to gather his thoughts and continue.

“I was only a baby when that happened, so Dean’s the only one who remembers. I mean, I know it’s sad, but I don’t miss her the way he does, since I never really met her. My Dad did the best he could to take care of us, but it was mostly Dean who raised me. Dad was on the road a lot for work, and after dragging us around for a few years, Bobby sat Dad down and told him that we could stay in Sioux Falls with him and Rufus so we could go to school in one place. Dad fought it at first, I think, but eventually he agreed. So that’s how we met Jody and Donna and started coming here. I think it was harder for Dean to leave Dad. Because sometimes it seemed like Dean was the real grown-up out of the three of us, and he hated letting Dad leave where he couldn’t look after him. I’m pretty sure Bobby and Rufus sent him here to make him be a kid for a change.”

“Did it work?” Cas asked without thinking. 

Sam laughed. “Who knows? I wasn’t here in those first years, I was too young. But I remember him coming back after his first session here. He was just so...happy. Like someone had pulled the stick out of his butt and gave him a puppy or something. So they figured out a way where he would get to come for the whole summer. He practically lives here. I’m sure he would live here, except it’s closed all winter.” Sam smiled wistfully. “I probably would too, but I’d miss Bobby and Rufus too much.”

Cas smiled ruefully, wondering who had it worse- Sam and Dean lost both their parents but were raised in a loving environment, or Cas, Anna, Rebecca, and Gabe having both parents alive and able to provide material things, but not much affection. He decided there was no way to know. He may have been resentful of Father, but he was glad he was still alive. 

“So…” Sam said, looking awkward. “I guess this is the part where I tell you if you break my brother’s heart, I’ll break your face?”

Cas flushed bright red, knowing that was more telling of his feelings than anything else. “But we’re just friends. I mean, I don’t think Dean wants that. With me.”

Sam gave him funny look. “I know Dean better than anyone, I think. And maybe you’re right. But he’s different around you. More comfortable than I’ve ever seen him with anyone. Like at the high ropes? I heard he practically held your hand the whole time. In front of everyone.”

Cas was confused. “But I thought that’s how he did that with everyone.”

“I don’t know, maybe. But there’s something. I don’t know, maybe it’s the same as how Dean knew right away how I felt about Jess.” Sam reddened and looked down at the letter in his lap. 

Cas felt dizzy. He really needed about 10 cups of coffee to process that. Could that be true? Did Dean really feel something more for Cas? Their little tryst in the woods was as impersonal as the encounters Cas had had in the past-

_I’m glad I kissed you back._ Had he said that? Or did Dean say that to him? Or was that a dream? It was a lot to take in.

Sam got up and went back into the cabin, leaving Cas to his musings. He tried to shake it off before getting up as well, to get read for the day.

********

The art barn smelled wonderful when Cas walked in. He could hear the coffee percolating and soft sounds of someone making coffee- clinking coffee cups, the swish of paper towels, the lid being snapped back on the container of grounds. 

Cas let the door swing shut behind him with a slam so alert whomever it was that he was busting them using his new machine. He shouldn’t have bragged so loud about-

Oh, it was Dean. Of course it was Dean. Dean who kept doing these nice things for him. Dean who kept showing him that he was worth something. 

Cas bristled. But why? Why him? He shoved down the rising tide of nervousness and self-doubt and greeted the man holding out a hot cup of dark coffee to him with a wide open smile. How did he do that? How could he be that? Cas mumbled a thanks and took the cup, Dean was unphased by his lack of verbal skills this early. It didn’t take long for most of the camp to learn that- apparently he growled quite a bit, or so he’d been told. 

Cas begun to feel the familiar feelings of trepidation creep in as he studied his counterpart leaning against the worktop, siping his own brew. He was brought back to those two hours in the car with Charlie and Anna- where this mystery man seemed too good to be true. But that wasn’t it, not really, was it? It was something else Cas had been feeling at the time. 

Jealousy. Jealous that this man was everything he was not. Well liked, purposeful, good with children, and a million and one other things Cas had seen from him since the moment they met. He wasn’t too good to be true. He was just too good for Cas.

Cas blinked, feeling his stomach drop with this information clicking into place in his mind. Dean met his eyes, warm smile changing into concern.

“Cas, you okay? You look pale.”

Cas shook his head, the words lodged in his throat. He was a fool to think that a week could change who he really was. Making friends, learning about himself, taking chances- it wasn’t enough. _He wasn’t enough._

“I’m not enough,” he coked out before he could help it. He covered his mouth with a shaking hand, backing up. Dean’s brow furrowed deeply in confusion.

“No, Cas you’re-”

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I need to speak with Jody, so I will see you this afternoon,” Cas said in his default formal tone. He needed to get out of there before he had a full-on panic attack. 

Dean looked like he’d been slapped. Cas set his cup down with more force than necessary and fled the barn, walking double time toward the barn, intent on telling Jody that he didn’t think he’d be coming back after the weekend. This was a mistake. He should have just took the summer off to work with Father in the firm like was expected of him. Like Father wanted. 

He slowed his steps. _Like Father wanted._ But what about what he wanted?

The staff that was going home for the weekend were loading up and driving off, and Cas didn’t want anyone to ask what was wrong with him.

Mostly because he didn’t know what was wrong with him. 

He bypassed the Barn and walked behind the cook’s cabin to head down the hill by the singing tree. He kept walking. He wasn’t sure what the fuck he was doing- he’d never felt so unsure of everything ever in his life. It felt like standing on the edge of that platform in the tree with no harness, no Dean. No plan, no idea what he wanted or who he even was. He crossed the horse fields in no time at all and stood at the bottom of the 15 steps with flaking paint that lead straight up to the scariest bridge on God’s green earth. 

He might not survive. The wood might splinter, the wires might fray and snap, but he had to see. He grabbed the railings to steady his hands and bit the insides of his cheeks and took the first step. He could do this, he just had to let go. One step at a time, that’s all he could take, slowly moving toward an unknown danger, risks he’d never taken alone, not without clinging desperately. 

He knew he had to do it on his own for it to count.

He reached the platform at the top of the stairs, and looking out at the bridge suspended over the creek, and it looked scarier than being strapped into the top of that tree. Why did it feel so different alone? What had Dean said? 

_You just have to let go. I know you’re a stubborn motherfucker, and it’s hard as hell, but you sometimes just have to have faith that things will be okay, that good things do happen._

That was faith. Dean was talking about faith. But Cas had used Dean’s faith in him to jump. What if he couldn’t do it with his own faith? Did he even believe in anything? He always did everything based on what he knew was safe. Sexual encounters instead of relationships, the classes he knew he would do marginally well in, the career that was to be handed to him. No challenges at all in his life.

But that wasn’t completely true. He had been the one to pick up a paintbrush and put that first stroke on the canvas. It was an act of faith- he didn’t care if he was good at it, he didn’t care if he made a mess, he didn’t care how many times he had to redo something when he messed up. And that was the thing- there were plenty of mistakes, but not anything so ruined or broken that it couldn’t be fixed, couldn’t be made into something better.

Cas realized he had made his way halfway across the bridge without much thought. He breathed away a minor panic attack and continued walking, the bridge swaying and bouncing. He let his knees go loose and swayed with the bridge; they had been right, when he didn’t fight the movement, he seemed more in harmony with the constant motion. 

Cas stepped onto the platform that was the head of a winding trail up the cliff. He turned back around and looked at how far he’d come, by just having faith that it was possible. 

What else had Dean said? _The people who care about you have your back, no matter what._ And didn’t they? Hadn’t Anna always been there? Visiting him at school, listening when he whined about his life. And Gabriel too, in his own way. Gabe gave him a hard time, but he’s pretty sure his brother would knife someone if he asked him too. Well, that was how Gabe had put it. _You say the word, baby bro, and I’ll knife his ass._ Sure that had been during Gabriel’s high school rebellious phase when he decided he was a cast member of Grease or something. 

Speak of the devil.

“Hey muttonhead, what the hell are you doing out here?” Gabriel climbed the last two steps across the bridge to the platform. He started across, bouncing along, making the bridge shake way more than could be safe, but it held. Gabe stopped at the halfway mark and flopped down, legs hanging off the side, a sly look on his face.

“Nope! You can just stop it right now, Gabe! I’m not sitting down on the damn thing.”

“But you have to get past me if you want to go back, so consider me the troll and you a little billy goat gruff.”

“The troll thing for sure, yeah.”

“Troll with a joint!” Gabe announced triumphantly.

“Oh hell no, I am not sitting on a bridge with you and getting high.”

Gabe laughed and lit up. “Who said I was sharing? Besides, you’ve never even done this, so that’s much to ask.”

“I have too,” Cas said indignantly, “Dean and I smoked in Julie’s Hollow the other night.”

He slapped himself internally for revealing that.

Gabe nearly dropped the joint and rocked back and forth with laughter. “Oh, man. Yes, that’s the ticket, Cassie, get yo’ man.”

Cas scowled, not really in the mood for his brother’s teasing.

“Oh, come on, Cassie, don’t give me the ‘Castiel bites a lemon’ face. Dean’s great. If you’re into all that hot bod and pretty face and winning personality and shit, but whatever melts your butter. He’s fuckin’ perfect.”

“That’s the problem,” Cas grumbled, hoping Gabe didn’t hear.

Gabe took a long pull on the joint, blowing the smoke upward in a thin stream. “Why don’t you come over here so I don’t smoke this all myself and fall into the creek. You can stand if you want to, I promise I won’t pull you down.”

Cas eyed Gabriel suspiciously, but his older brother took promises very seriously. He shrugged and carefully edged his way over, keeping his eyes glued to his feet. 

“So Bart came to pick up Anna for the weekend,” Gabe said, passing the joint up to Cas.

“Oh really? How’d Charlie take that?”

“Not well. She is going to go to town tonight with Benny to shoot pool. There’s a few people going if you want to come.” 

Cas shook his head, smiling fondly. “Don’t know if I’m ready to see this crowd drunk.”

Gabe guffawed at some sort of private joke, and nodded enthusiastically. They sat quietly, passing the joint back and forth until it was just a nub. Gabe offered it to Cas one last time, who refused, and tossed it into the creek. Cas watched its slow decent, marveling at how it seemed to float on the breeze, spinning as it fell. He looked over at Gabe who was grinning at him.

“What?”

“You sat down,” Gabe said smugly.

Cas looked around and snorted. He was sitting with his legs folded (they called it criss-cross applesauce at camp, which Cas found amusing) in the very center of the bridge. He shrugged at Gabe and twitched a half-smile. Getting high in the daylight was very different than at night. He decided he liked it- he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to function beyond maybe eating some chips….chips sounded really good. 

“Well, good thing I brought chips,” Gabe said, pulling around his backpack and pulling out some sour cream and onion potato chips.

Cas was agast. Could Gabriel read minds? That was amazing. Or was he saying all of that out loud?

Gabriel was laughing so hard he was silent, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Cas scowled again. Oops. 

“Whoo boy, Cassie, if I had known it would be this fun getting stoned with you I’d have tried it years ago.”

“Well, I’ve never been that interesting, so maybe no.”

“What?” Gabe said incredulously, “Of course you’re interesting. You’re pretty funny, you get that from me, and you are really talented. Always have been.”

“What are you even talking about,” Cas mumbled out between bites of chips. They were literally the best chips he’d ever had.

“Remember how you used to draw our Christmas cards and Birthday cards? You were always so good at that.”

Cas nodded thoughtfully. He’d forgotten about that. 

“And Halloween? Those crazy themed costumes. People were always jealous of how good we looked- I got laid in that Yoda costume so many times.”

“Ew, could have done without that vivid image in my head.”

“Even your Jack-o-lanterns were the best.”

“But it never mattered.”

Gabe shook his head adamantly. “It never mattered to _Father._ It’s hardly your fault that he can’t appreciate your best trait- he wouldn’t know good art if it sat on his face.”

“Ugh, another image I could do without. Yeah that’s confusing.”

“And now, your painting. You should be showing your work, containing galleries, doing-”

“Hold on, how did you- Did Anna tell you I’m painting?” It was unlike Anna to share Cas’s secrets.

“Yeah, I was worried about you. I thought you were wasting away in Boston, turning into a junkie or something,” Cas snorted (and motioned to Gabe- ‘you’re the junkie’ -but his mouth was full).

Gabe laughed and handed a bottle of water to Cas.

“I just...I’m just not...good. No, no. Don’t argue, just listen. I’ve never been anything special. I’m the median, I’m nothing to measure up to, I’m not worth someone’s time. I don’t know how to do relationships, all I know how to do is run…”

He inadvertently brought the conversation back around to Dean.

“He really cares about you, you know.” Gabe squinted at him.

“But why?” Cas threw his hands up, almost losing the water bottle “What’s so special about me, he could have _anyone,_ and I mean literally anyone, now that he’s had his little gay experimentation-” God, Cas hadn’t meant to say that.

“I knew it!” Gabe looked way too happy. “Oh, shit I called that, Benny owes me some money.”

Cas was confused. “You bet Benny I’d give Dean a blowjob in Beech Tree Bend?”

Gabe could barely breathe, he was nearly turning purple with laughter, and lying down completely. Cas was a little concerned.

“Oh my ficking Christ,” gasped Gabe, “I bet Benny that Dean was into dudes too. Benny said Dean was all boobs, but I was right!”

“So you didn’t know-”

“About the bj in the woods? No, but now I do! Aw, man, stoned Cas is so much fun.”

Cas slumped against one of the steel supports. “Please don’t do the thing where everyone suddenly knows within 20 minutes of me telling you something.”

“Oh, no, Cas, I’m not going to get in the way of your happiness. But you better believe that’s going to be in my best man’s speech at your wedding.”

Cas scoffed. “I’m sure I’ve just screwed all that up, so guess I won’t have to worry about that happening.”

“Why? Did you just run away from Dean after mumbling something about not being good enough and nearly throwing your coffee cup at him in your haste to escape?”  
“Oh, fuck, you really are psychic- how did you...oh. He sent you.”

“Yep.” Gabe popped the p. “It’s not that ruined if he wants to make sure you’re okay. And…” Gabe pulled something out of his backpack and held it out to Cas. It was a rectangular plastic box- a cassette tape?

“Oh, yeah, for the art barn stereo. Nice of him.”

“Nice? Back the fuck up, Cas, nice? That’s a mix tape. Do you even understand what it took for Dean to make that tape?”

Cas looked at the box and popped it open. ‘Dean’s Top 13 Zepplin Traxx.’ It just looked like a regular tape.

“He had to choose the order of the songs. The first one can’t be a love song, that’s coming on too strong. The love song is the 6th song, and you have to get it just right, or the tape will run out and cut the song off too soon. The final song is the favorite song. The most personal one about the person who made the tape. He had to go through his tape and cd collection and find each of his favorite songs- and Led Zeppelin recorded a hell of a lot of songs. And record them on an obsolete medium so you can listen to them when you’re working? That’s personal. That’s something.”

Cas was shaking his head looking at the tape as if it were about to catch fire in his hand. This was too much. He couldn’t hold the responsibility of Dean’s heart, it was too risky.

“What’s life without risk?” Gabe said grinning. Cas rolled his eyes at himself. 

“Look, Gabe, I know you mean well, but he’s just too good for me. There’s gotta be someone out there that he’ll, I don’t know, be happy with?”

“Well, he dated one of the camper’s mom for a while. Lisa. She was really...okay? Average, I suppose, but that does it for some people. Anyway, she wanted to change him, make him give up this, give up Cedar Creek, and he just couldn’t do it. It’s where he makes the biggest difference in the world, and she wanted him to give that up.”

“How do you know all this?”

Gabe shrugged. “We’ve been in BTB together for the last 3 years. You get bored and talk a lot without phones. Stuff just sorta comes out. Believe me, Dean knows some of my weirder secrets, whether he wants to or not.”

Cas sighed, tapping his finger on the tape idly. “I need to paint. I feel...constipated.”

Gabe’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m sure Donna has some colon blow if you-”

“No, Gabe, I mean I’m… _artistically_ constipated. I need to paint.”

“So paint.”

“It’s not that easy. I can’t paint with anyone around and I didn’t bring any of my stuff.”

“Well that’s easy enough to fix. You’re staying here all weekend, right? Then let’s go to Walmart and get what we can, and you can paint tonight when everyone’s out getting drunk.”

Cas nodded. That actually sounded like a great idea.

“And you can buy a bunch of panties and change out all of Dean’s underwear with them.”

Cas jolted. For some reason that seemed really hot. “And why am I doing that?”

“Prank war? You only have about 24 hours to get him back, cause after the kids get here, Jody puts the kibosh on all the fun. Safety, or whatever.” Gabe rolled his eyes and stood up. “Come on, little bro, let’s get you Van Gogh-in’.”

Cas loved a good pun. He giggled, suddenly giddy about the prospect of having a brush in his hand. Painting would fix this feeling of...ick.

They walked on shaky legs back to the steps and trompped down. The ground felt incredibly sold beneath Cas’s feet.

“Oh, shit, Gabe- I need my keys! And my phone…”

“Way ahead of you, kiddo,” Gabe pulled keys and phones out of his backpack and held them out. Cas snatched his phone, so happy to just have the familiarity in his palm. 

“You’re driving, Gabriel.”

“Well duh.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY you had to wait. I can't even say it was worth it, cause there's only a wee bit o' smut.

After an absolutely hilarious trip to Walmart (Cas really felt closer to Gabe than he had in years), Cas returned to the art barn with his supplies. He took a quick trip in his Lincoln up to BTB with Gabe at twilight to raid Dean’s underwear (it made his dick a tiny bit hard, but that was killed when Gabe kept trying to guess in the unit where he blew Dean- he figured it out when Cas wouldn’t look directly at the tree), and then stopped to piss in the latrine.

He should have peed in the woods. Instead, he fumbled his flashlight and it fell in the hole, into a pile of human feces, with the beam still shining on. Cas had groaned but was then overtaken by a fit of giggles and had to be rescued by his brother. Gabe dropped Cas off back at the art barn, pushing the mix tape into his hand. He was still pretty stoned, so Gabe left him a pile of snacks and soda. 

He set up the flimsy easel up at the far end of the clay room, clipping up utility lights and adjusting them to leave the least shadows across the canvas. He didn’t bother with oils- there wouldn't be time for them to properly cure; but acrylic would do just fine. He used either at home- sometimes his idea needed to be rushed out before it disappeared- and he’d use a hair dryer on the acrylic. To speed things up as he layered the paint.

Cas was doing figure study. He had many paintings in storage depicting the male form, in erotic poses, sensual, usually solitary, but he was pretty sure he shouldn’t make it too graphic now. Thus the acrylic. He could complete a painting in one night, then hide it in his trunk. However, since Gabe basically stole his car to take a load of staff to the bar, he’d have to hide it in the art barn somewhere until morning. 

He already had an image in mind. He had to go outside and walk around until he got some bars on his phone so he could image search for figure study model pics. He finally found the right one, and screen shot several to use as reference. He went in and set up his palette and paused. 

He put the tape in the stereo and hit play. The guitar riffs and smooth pace of the drums filled the barn. _Ramble On, Perfect._

_Leaves are falling all around_  
It's time I was on my way  
Thanks to you I'm much obliged  
For such a pleasant stay  
But now it's time for me to go  
The autumn moon lights my way  
For now I smell the rain  
And with it pain  
And it's headed my way 

Cas smiled to himself, feel wrapped in his inspiration. He set his brush to the canvas and lost himself.

As any artist will tell you, there comes a point when the ego makes a retreat and the work flows uninhibited. You become nothing but a conduit, and vessel for the spirit of the work. It doesn’t always happen that way; sometimes you struggle with every brushstroke. But the times when you let go of the idea of what it is, what you want it to be, how it might turn out, it flows. It flows and there’s no stopping it, and it can take you to unusual places. And this was where Cas had first let go of something in his life.

He realized it was the painting responsible for him wanting to leave school, because the indescribable feeling of just being able to let go and exist… The contrast of being in the stifling life chosen for him became too glaring to deny any longer. 

Cas was in the zone. His face was flushed, his hair wild from pulling on it when he stopped to think, a multitude of color flashes on his face and clothes from switching brushes too quickly, and holding a ready brush between his teeth or under his arm. 

He was only sort of listening to the music, it was more like allowing it into his head. Sharing the space there with the inspiration, the movement. He was counting the songs, though. 

The strains of _Whole Lotta Love_ disappeared and there was a brief silence before the 6th song started.

_Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light  
To chase a feather in the wind  
Within the glow that weaves a cloak of delight  
There moves a thread that has no end  
For many hours and days that pass ever soon  
The tides have caused the flame to dim  
At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom  
Is this to end or just begin?  
All of my love, all of my love  
All of my love to you, oh_  
Cas’s paintbrush hung in the air, his head tilted, listening intently to the lyrics. He was focused so deeply that he failed to hear the screen door swing open and shut.

He was unconsciously swaying to the music, breathing deep, when he heard a voice clearing behind him. He swung around so quickly he almost fell.

There was Dean Winchester standing in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth agape, shock and awe plastered across his features. It took Cas a split second to remember that his painting was out in the open and Dean was looking past him at it. 

And, of course, it was of Dean. It was still pretty rudimentary, details only starting to emerge, but unmistakably Dean. 

He had painted an open-air field, Julie’s Hollow, to be precise. The greens and golds of late afternoon giving the subject an ethereal glow, setting off the warm hues of his brown skin and the dirt his toes were buried in. He laid sleeping against a rock, left leg turned open, his penis soft but prominent. His tattoo was over his heart, muted against his skin. A twist of fabric lay across his torso, creating contrast and depth and movement that lead the eye down to the tips of his fingers and along the edge of the rock, which was the closest edge of the shape of an invisible wing embedded into the landscape.. The figure’s wings were lax, the feathers made of distant Autumn leaves and the peaks of mountains, were at rest, sprawled across the rock, picking up the color of the green and gold trees in the highlights, and the blues and dark greens of the sky and water in the shadows. Cas had been working on melding the wings into the rock, feathers then turning to blades of grass, tree roots at the creek’s bank, connected to the land in which he slept. 

Cas slowly put his brush in the water, eyes fixed on Dean’s face. There seemed to be a multitude of emotion playing out there.

“It’s uh, it’s the Hollow,” he finally murmured. Cas gulped and nodded. Considering he wasn’t the one with a 5 foot high naked picture of himself in the room, he felt very exposed. Dean moved closer- no, swayed closer, taking in the details. He blinked several times.

“I think I’ll sit down.” With that, he plunked down in the middle of the room, again swaying.

Cas caught a whiff of whiskey. Oh.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” Cas asked, his voice irritated, trying to cover his anxiety.

“Came t’see if ya had a lashfight- I mean, flashlight- I left mine somewhere an’ I gotta walk back to bed, and I’ll just end up in the creek. Or be part of the creek like…” he waved a hand at the painting, eyes still glued to it. Cas was glad, because it meant Dean wasn’t looking at him.

“Damn, Cas, you’re amazing, how do you do that?”

“I don’t know, I just do. Now come on, get up, let me take you to bed- I mean get you in bed- I mean...grrr!” Cas shook, anger building. His buzz was long gone, and the feelings of doubt were creeping back in. It did kind of help that Dean was drunk- maybe he wouldn’t remember this in the morning. 

Dean giggled. “Get me into bed, Cas, I’m drunk!”

“I can see that.” Cas started turning off lights and threw a drop cloth over the painting, breaking Dean’s mesmerized gaze. 

“Hey, I want to look some more. Some more at my weiner.” He giggled again, and Cas cracked a smile, but tried to look stern. 

“Let’s get you up.” Cas pulled Dean to stand, holding his arm and leading him to the door. The stereo had turned itself off- Cas would have to wait until tomorrow to listen to the other side and last song. 

“Cas, why you’d make me so pretty? Did you do that from your rememory or are you peeking at me when I’s sleeping?”

“From memory, Dean,” Cas said, rummaging for his flashlight-

Oh shit. 

“Dean, I dropped my flashlight in the latrines.”

That set Dean off giggling, which was just so cute when he scrunched his nose and clung to Cas. Cas began to laugh too.

“Maybe ther’s one that got left behind in the shower house,” Dean suggested. Cas nodded and turned off the lights in the art barn, pulling Dean outside. He lead him down the road, keeping him from weaving and headed to the shower house. He propped Dean up and watched amusedly as he tried to light a cigarette. He kept missing the end of it with the lighter, until finally Cas plucked it from his mouth and put it in his own, took away the lighter and lit it, then placed it back between Dean’s pouting lips.

“Oh, thought you was stealin’ my smoke!” Dean giggled again. “Fanks, man.”

“No problem,” Cas said shaking his head as he went into the shower house and made a quick sweep for a flashlight. No such luck.

“Hey,” Dean called from outside, “you wanna take a shower since we’re here? I mean you might have to hold me up, but…” The giggling started up again. 

Cas grinned to himself and went into the staff side to look as well. No flashlight.

And his conditioner was in Dean’s shower bucket again.

“Dean, you have to stop stealing my conditioner and not putting it back,” he huffed as he walked back. Dean looked guilty.

“I’m sorry, I um, needed it.”

Cas tipped his head and looked Dean up and down. Odd. When they were in close proximity, he didn’t notice that Dean’s hair smelled like the expensive brand Cas used, it smelled like the apple-scented shampoo Dean used. Oh.

“Used it for what, exactly?”

Dean blushed and grinned taking a pull on his cigarette. “If I tell you, you can’t be mad. It’s a matter of avoiding some serious chaffing. I had no choice.”

Cas laughed, marveling at how Dean could easily talk about anything. Well, maybe it was because he was drunk. “It’s fine, I don’t mind, just put it back when you’re done.”

Dean looked surprised. “Really? You don’t mind if I beat off with your fancy schmancy conditioner?”

“It would seem that I do not.”

“You’re the best, Cas!” Dean put his hand up for a high five. “You can paint my naked wiener anytime you want!”

Cas shook his head in amusement, but slapped his hand. “Come on, let’s get your drunk ass to bed.”

Dean nodded, putting out his cigarette out on the ground and tossing it in the garbage can. He put his arm over Cas’s shoulders again, and Cas’s hand went around his waist. They took off down the road- Cas was sure it wouldn’t be too hard, it was a gravel road the whole way. They might get their shoes wet, but that was fine.

Cas started to see where there might be a problem. As soon as the tree canopy covered them, they were plunged into darkness. It was pitch black, and he couldn’t even see Dean’s face. He kept waiting for his eyes to adjust, but it never happened. He had to rely on drunk Dean’s navigation, which was how they ended up in the creek the first time.

“Dean, stop, I don’t think this is right,” Cas said, interrupting Dean’s loud and slightly off-key rendition of _Kodachrome,_ now totally turned around. 

Dean sighed. “This is why you don’t forget your flashlight. Or drop it in shit.” Giggles again. Cas scowled at him, but Dean couldn’t see it, of course. Cas sighed, the water seeping up his pant legs making his toes numb. 

“Which way?”

Dean hushed him and they stood in the creek in the blackness of night, and listened. Cas wondered what Dean had heard, and started to panic, but eventually Dean whispered, “this way.”

Cas realized that Dean could navigate the trail by sound alone, and was really impressed (although they did wander into the creek again, but he was much quicker to correct it). They spoke in hushed tones, the mood of the night shifting as Dean sobered up.

The trees broke and he could see moonlight in patches on the ground. Dean cheered and they stumbled up the steps to the boardwalk, shoes sloshing. Cas hoped Dean had extra shoes.

Dean went in the staff cabin door and Cas waited just outside. It struck him suddenly that as soon as Dean turned on the flashlight, he’d see about 20 pairs of flashy Walmart panties strewn about his bed and in his trunk. But no light came on.

“Aw, fuck.”

Cas blinked, trying uselessly to see in the dark. “What’s the problem?”

“I think I left my flashlight in Baby,” he moaned.

“Seriously?” Cas sagged, rolling his eyes for no one but himself.

“Yeah, I did. I let Hannah drive her back and I walked from the parking lot. Dammit.”

“Dammit indeed,” mumbled Cas. “What do you want to do?”

“Well, I think I can give you some dry pants and you can borrow my boots, but you can’t walk back without a flashlight, so…”

“So…” Cas’s heart started beating double time.

“So your brother wouldn’t mind you sleeping in his bed, right?”

Cas sighed. “I guess not.”

The door screeched open and Cas fumbled inside, going to Gabe’s bed from memory. 

“Dean, I have to tell you something.”

“Does it have to do with these three pairs of panties on my pillow?”

“Yeah, about that…”

Dean was laughing again, this time falling over on his bed. Cas couldn’t help but join in, not knowing what to make of this ridiculous situation. 

“Oh, and I was here when I lost my flashlight.”

That made Dean nearly hysterical. Cas grinned in the darkness. He wished he could see Dean’s face.

Dean popped up. “Oh!” There was a clicking sound and Dean’s lighter lit up the cabin. His face was cast in shadows but rosy and happy. Cas sucked in a breath and pulled his shoes off. “I don’t suppose you keep candles…”

“Nah, fire hazard. Oh hey! I might could rig something.” He hopped up, and left on more steady (but still wet) feet and Cas could hear his footfalls going toward the unit house. There were some crashes and a lot of swearing, but finally Dean came back. Cas was shivering.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Dean flicked on the lighter and found a pair of sweatpants and t shirt for Cas to change into, and a dry pair of wool socks. They were very soft and warm, and Cas began to feel sleepy. He had no idea what time it was. He dropped his jeans on the floor and something clunked loudly.

“Oh my god, Cas, seriously? And I’m the drunk one.”

Cas huffed out an embarrassed laughter as he picked up his phone. He hit the home button and the room lit up in a blue glow. “Sorry. Yeah...that. I’m sorry. Not used to carrying it around anymore.”

Dean was having another fit of laughter, and Cas saw no other option but join in. 

“Well, the battery is at 4%, so it’s about to not work as well.”

Dean waved him over to show him what he’d found in the unit house. A homemade paraffin burner. It was a tuna can with a strip of cardboard rolled up tightly inside it, covered in paraffin wax. He explained you could punch air holes in a coffee can and put it upside down over the flame and have a pretty well-functioning burner for cooking. It lit up right away and Dean set it in the middle of the floor. The blue flame danced and illuminated the room.

“Isn’t this a fire hazard too?”

“Yeah, but we’ll put it out. Cool, right? My dad showed me how to make these when I was a kid.” He paused, the shadows on his face deepening. “When me and Sam were little, we were on the road with Dad a lot. He was a… We moved around a lot. We’d stay in motels, mostly, and they wouldn’t always have a kitchen, so we’d make these and I could make Sammy some macaroni. Or soup. It worked great.” Dean’s voice sounded strained. “Are you ready to go to sleep?”

“Kind of,” Cas said with a yawn and a shiver. He felt let down that the night hadn’t turned out differently. 

They grew quiet, Dean lying down in his bed and Cas lying in Gabriel’s. The light and shadows danced across the walls, oddly calming. Or maybe Cas was just really exhausted. It was nearly 4, and the sun would be up before too long.

Dean broke the silence, his voice heavy with sleep. “So, the painting.”

Cas cringed. In the chaos of trying to make their way back to BTB, Cass had forgotten that Dean had seen his portrait. “Yeah.” 

Dean was quiet, perhaps waiting for Cas to say something else, but Cas was at a loss for words. The feeling of exposure rose up again.

“It’s...amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it before. I mean, yeah it’s me, but it’s so much more. I mean, like it’s _me._ How I’m a part of this land. Or maybe it’s a part of me. You know?” 

“I do know. I’m glad it translates well. I wanted…” Cas bit his lip. He’d never explained his process to anyone before. But he guessed Dean might be still drunk enough to forget the conversation by morning. “I paint angels. I took an art history class and something about Renaissance painters really spoke to me. Classical figure study. The male body had always been represented as strong, virile. But I see vulnerability. It’s captivating. When I...okay now I can’t believe I’m telling you this- but, when I was in my second year of school, I started going to bars. I had never been to a gay bar at home, and I wanted to check it out. I was still technically a virgin, but I knew enough about sex to instigate an encounter.”

“You make it sound like a business transaction.”

“Yeah, it kind of felt that way. Buy drinks, dance, then go to their place and fuck. It was just release. It was always mutual desire, but never personal. Somewhere along the way, I began to observe the post-coital poses of the men I slept with. They were open and vulnerable, and something about that resonated with me. So yeah, I paint naked dude angels.”

Dean laughed, open and light. Cas grinned at the dancing shadows.

“Castiel is the name of an angel. The angel of Thursday, though I’m unsure what that means. They are always angels.”

Dean shifted to his side and looked over at Cas. “You ever paint with a live model?”

Cas snorted. “Obviously not. You’re the only person to ever see my work.”

Dean’s eyes went wide. “Really? Wow, thank you. I mean, I did just kind of barge in there, but thanks for not throwing me out.”

“Anytime.”

“I’m not very artistic, so it always amazes me when people can do that.” Dean yawned, his jaw cracking.

Cas wanted very much to touch Dean. It hit him hard and sudden, his chest constricting and bursting at the same time. He wondered how appropriate it would be to just climb in bed with him. The beds were tiny, though. 

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Can you paint me like one of your French girls?”

Cas laughed, weight he didn’t know was on his shoulders releasing. “I’m pretty sure I already did.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t there wearing a big-ass blue diamond necklace.”

“Didn’t that old lady drop that into the water at the end?”

“That always bothered the shit out of me. Like her granddaughter was right there, why not give it to her?”

“It’s just a movie, Dean.”

“I know, it’s just an unsatisfactory ending. Like seriously. Two people could have fit on Rose’s raft thing. That was an asshole thing to do.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” Cas said, chuckling. Dean grinned at him, and was quiet for a bit.

“I’m kind of cold,” he said, looking away again.

“Me too.” Cas was wrapped up in Gabriel’s blankets, but the shivering had come back.

“I was wondering…”

Cas sat up on his elbows. Dean was looking at him again, chewing his lip, looking more sober than he had all night. Cas waited for him to continue.

“We could pull the mattresses off the beds and put them next to each other on the floor, and sleep there.” He said in a rush. “I mean, just for warmth, and stuff.”

Dean looked so adorably shy at that moment, Cas grinned, his heart flipping over.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that.”

The got up and rearranged the beds to the floor, pulling the blankets around and settling on just piling them all over both of them. Dean blew out the makeshift candle and situated himself back on the mattress. There were a few inches between them in the pitch black, and the heat was suddenly unbearable to Cas- too much, but not enough. He needed to touch Dean. Badly. He decided to be the one to make a move. He shifted to his side, reaching out and running his palm across Dean’s chest. Dean’s breath hitched and he was immediately reaching back in the darkness, turning to his side too, closing the space and pressing their chests together. Cas could only feel Dean’s deepening breath against his face, whiskey and cigarettes, not unpleasant. He wanted to suck that flavor off his tongue. 

“Cas?” Dean whispered, a huff of warm breath, so close to his own lips. Cas crossed the distance, hesitant at first, bumping noses to find Dean’s mouth in the dark, just a soft press of lips, then gaining confidence when Dean melted into the kiss, his hand moving to Cas’s hair, tugging gently. Cas moaned into the kiss, parting his lips and seeking Dean’s tongue with his own. Dean moved to grab his waist, wedging his knee in between Cas’s, pushing their hips together. Cas was already hard- and judging by the solid length that pressed into his hip, Dean was as well. The kiss became more heated, almost frantic, desperation fueling them, days of tension building to this crescendo, this meeting of bodies. Cas sat up breaking the kiss to pull his shirt off, and yanking at Dean’s. He needed to feel Dean’s skin against his own, needed to feel it under his fingertips. Every part of his skin that made contact with Dean was on fire, his heart pounding loud in his ears. Dean kicked off the blankets, the cool air a relief from the desperate heat, and pushed Cas down on his back, pulling at his sweatpants. Cas lifted his butt and let them be taken off in a quick motion, his erection springing forth in the frigid air. Cas opened his eyes, everything was still pitch black. Dean fumbled to move between his legs, leaning down to find his mouth again, then feeling his way down Cas’s neck with his mouth, to his nipples, which he sucked and licked, making Cas groan and thrust his hips involuntarily. Dean pressed his chest down on Cas’s straining erection, precome smearing on his skin in the dark. He lay his face, stubble wonderfully scratchy, on Cas’s flat belly, nuzzling it and just catching his breath. Cas gently stroked his hair, just so happy they were there. _Dean_ was there. But, on schedule, the doubts came in.

“Dean, we don’t have to do anything. You’ve been drinking, and it wouldn’t be-”

“Cas, it’s been about 4 hours since my last drink, I think I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“Oh. Okay.” Cas continued to comb his fingers through Dean’s hair, and Dean began to kiss his belly, making his muscles jump, then sucking the divot beneath his hipbone. He gasped when Dean ran his fingers up his inner thigh and the over his cock. 

“Wait, Dean,” Cas said grabbing Dean’s hand. Dean lifted his head, but Cas couldn’t see his eyes in the darkness.

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Dean was stunned into silence, and his body went stiff. Cas heard him swallow. “Am I doing something wrong?” Dean sounded heartbreakingly sad.

Cas moved to sit up, pulling Dean into his lap, positioning Dean’s legs over his hips so he could move them closer into an embrace. Dean relaxed in his arms, dropping his forehead to Cas’s shoulder. 

“What is it then?” Dean whispered, his breath ghosting over Cas’s nipple. 

Cas continued to stroke Dean’s hair. “I, um. I don’t know how to do...this.”

He could feel Dean’s forehead scrunch up against his shoulder in confusion. “But I thought you’d had sex-”

“No, no, not that,” Cas rushed out. “I mean… I’ve never had a best friend before, or any friends for that matter. What’s going to happen if we do this and it ruins us being...friends? What am I supposed to do when you figure out that this was just a thing you did with a guy that time? I’m afraid...I am having more feelings than I’m accustomed to.”

Dean huffed out a laugh, turning his face inward so his lips brushed Cas’s neck as he spoke. “Oh, is that all? You’re worried I won’t feel the same way back?”

Cas shuddered, picturing Dean’s mouth. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Dean ran his palms over Cas’s back and pulled some blankets around the wrap them up as the cold started to seep between them. Cas knew he had ruined the mood. 

“I have to admit that yeah, I thought you were hot. And that’s not usual for me. I’ve usually been into women. But...there was something about you. Not just the physical thing I mean. Like, I don’t know, like I’d been waiting for you?”

Cas’s stomach flipped and his breathing sped up. He felt a panic attack start to bubble up, making his head feel light.

Dean picked his head up. Cas realized he was able to make out the shape of Dean’s face- the light of dawn was starting to infiltrate the trees.

“Cas, are you okay?”

Cas shook his head, his chest tight, trying to choke out words. A warning, _something_ to let Dean know he wasn’t worth it, he would fuck it up somehow.

“Is this about earlier? When you ran off?” Cas nodded miserably, now able to see ridge of Dean’s lips as they moved. “Gabe talked to me at the bar a bit. He was kind of drunk. Don’t worry, Benny was DD to keep an eye on Charlie, and he drove your pimp mobile home.”

Cas didn’t miss how Dean called camp ‘home’. He watched Dean chew on his lip, thinking about what to say next. 

“Gabe said you were his baby brother and he didn’t protect you like he should have.”

Cas jerked in surprise. “He what?” he croaked out.

“I know, I’m not really sure either. But he said you guys had a great time today and you even sat on the swinging bridge all on your own today.” Cas nodded slowly. 

“And that you’re really hard on yourself. You don’t think you deserve to have good things, or something. And let me tell you, that’s not far off from how I feel about myself most days. Like I’m too broken for anyone to want-”

“No, Dean. You’re perfect,” Cas blurted out. He held his breath, letting it out when Dean chuckled and sighed.

“Far from it, I assure you. But I want to...try. With you.”

Cas felt like crying. He was suddenly back on that platform, but this time, Dean was jumping first.

“But what if something bad happens?”

“We jump off that bridge when we get to it.” Cas had to smile at Dean’s apparent psychic abilities.

“Dean, I don’t know. I just quit school. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. What if I can’t be what you need?”

Dean smiled in the dim light. “I don’t have any idea either. I’m just trying to do things that make me happy, for a change. I’m through punishing myself for things that happened that weren’t my fault. Being here, with you, it makes me happy.”

“Me too,” Cas whispered. 

“Now how about we get a couple of hours of sleep before your brother shows up.”

Cas laughed, his chest loosening. He pulled Dean around until he was spooning him again. This time skin on skin contact. It felt wonderful. Dean threaded their fingers together and held them against his chest. Cas drifted off almost right away; the sound of Dean’s heartbeat resonating through his body.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean pulls a Ted Mosbey
> 
>  
> 
> so smut, so angst, so pine, so fluff, so don't hate me
> 
> i edit like someone with ADD because I have ADD. Yes. 
> 
> Enjoy!!!

8888888888888

 

Dean was definitely dying. It was the only explanation for the splitting headache and feeling like he could puke up his guts at any second. And the pounding? What was all the noise?

Fuck, footsteps. Dean rolled slightly, looking back at Cas’s resting face. Okay, not him-

“Morning campers!” Gabriel’s voice echoed through BTB, and Dean had a panicked moment when he thought they had slept through the weekend and the campers would be there when he crawled out of the cabin.

But no. Just being a dick.

“I hope you two kids aren’t doing what I think you’re doing,” he called in a sing-song voice.

“Fuck off, Gabriel,” Cas groaned from behind Dean.

“Gladly.” Gabriel’s voice had grown closer, just outside the door. “But you two need to shake a leg. The screen door opened with a screech and Dean’s head throbbed. “Dear Lord, what kind of kinky shit did you two get up to- Hey, is that my bed. Oh, for fuck’s sake, Cassie.”

“Gabe, can you not?” Dean groaned, pulling himself up and grabbing the nearest shirt to pull over his head. Cas just pulled Gabe’s pillow over his head.

Gabriel shook his head in mock disgust. “How dare. What would Father think? You gettin’ busy with this muggle?”

Dean snorted and fumbled for his water bottle, draining it quickly. “You’re an ass. So why are you getting us up so early?” Dean’s eyes adjusted and he realized it was probably about 10 AM. 

“No reason,” Gabe said, rolling his eyes. “Just wanted to borrow some panties.”

“Well, too fucking bad,” Dean grabbed the nearest pair, bright pink, waving them at Gabe. “All mine. I don’t want your junk anywhere near these.”

“You wound me, Winchester,” Gabe said with a grin. “But seriously, I wanted to see if you guys wanted to go to Stratton’s for breakfast.”

“Do they have coffee?” Cas’s voice was adorably muffled. Dean smiled fondly at the tuft of black hair peeking out from under the pillow. 

“Yeah, and they have four kinds of pie,” Dean said, resisting the temptation to run his fingers through Cas’s hair. He turned to Gabe. “Get the fuck out so we can get dressed.”

“Okay, you crazy kids, but we’re leaving you behind if you take too long.” Gabe let the door swing shut with a slam and stomped across the boardwalk, whistling loudly as he went. That fucker. Dean rubbed his temple and stood up.

He rummaged for some clothes. Weird. He saw several pairs of the panties, but-

Oh. Cas had taken all his boxers. An unbidden image of Cas rolling around naked in a pile of Dean’s underwear popped into his head, making him flush. This was then followed by a flood of memories from the night before.

He hadn’t meant to get to drunk. But Charlie had roped him into taking shots with her, moaning about Anna and ‘that idiot rich boy’ who had picked her up earlier that day. Dean had only caught a glimpse of Bart, and he’d hid in the office until they drove off. He still felt guilty about hooking up with Anna, now knowing she had been with the guy at the time. Charlie assured Dean that their arrangement was more of a business deal than a marriage, but he couldn’t help but feel a little shame about the whole thing. 

Anna had apologized to him earlier in the week, assuring him that she was glad it was him that she had her last hurrah with before entering a marriage that would be similar to her parent’s. Dean felt sympathy for her situation, but couldn’t imagine any scenario where he would be able to marry someone for anything but true love. 

Poor Charlie. She didn’t cry, she was too stubborn for that, but the same stubbornness refused to release her heart for the horrible twisting love she felt for Anna. The two had been friends since they were kids- they only saw each other for one or two sessions of camp every summer, but they did a rare thing where they stayed in touch during the year, mostly through text, and Charlie had fallen deeply in love with her. There was one time between sessions a few years ago that they had kissed- but it was a drunken fumble, and Anna laughed it off. It had nearly killed Charlie, but she let it go for fear of losing her best friend. 

So they sat in the dingy bar in Sioux Falls, taking shots, feeling sorry for themselves. The night was kind of hazy- Dean remembered handing his keys to Hannah (well, maybe she had taken them from him after he slurred at her that she was pure sunshine and he was so thankful she was his ropes partner. Dean got very sentimental when he got drunk), then he and Charlie attempted to play darts, which was ended when Benny took the darts from him before he injured someone. He and Gabriel had some sort of sloppy conversation, Dean whining about Cas, Gabe assuring him that he didn’t want to know about Dean’s Brokeback fantasy- it was his brother, after all. Dean had only grinned and kept talking, just to make Gabe jam his fingers in his ears. 

Ugh. Everything else was blurry until Dean stumbled down the road the art barn, grinning when he heard _Kashmir_ as he came over the hill. He had jogged a little, changed his mind when he realized how drunk he was, and tried to force his brain to sober up before he saw Cas.

But then the painting. Oh dear god, it was amazing. He had no idea Cas’s painting would be so detailed, so precise. He had gotten every curve of Dean’s muscles, the contours of his face, the tattoo, completely right. He felt a burst of joy when he realized that Cas had studied him that closely, had bothered to take in the details of him. His dick was scarily accurate, but the details were vague, like Cas’s hand wasn’t as confident in that area. Possibly because he had only seen it way up close.

But Dean wanted him to see it again. So very badly. Even as he stood there gaping at the painting, all the observations flooding his brain, he considered whipping it out so Cas could use it as a model. But his whisky softened mind came to a screeching halt when he saw how stricken Cas looked. Like he’d been caught. 

Maybe that’s why Dean admitted to masturbating with Cas’s fancy conditioner. Dean looked down at the mass under the blankets again. He really should get him up. He looked around for his pants, quickly dressing before he could change his mind, and laid himself directly on top of Cas, rolling his body over him, squishing him. 

“Steamroller!” Dean shouted gleefully, in spite of his headache.

“Aaagghh! Stop! Okay, I’ll get up. Just get your heavy ass off me.”

“Come on, we have to hurry. Their coffee is amazing, but if you want the breakfast menu, we have to get there before 11.”

Cas flung the blankets off himself, stretching his body out, toes pointing, bare chested and arching. He was half-hard in Dean’s sweatpants (hopefully because Dean was just on top of him, it sure had woken up little Dean). He was beautiful.

“Like something you see?” Cas arched an eyebrow at him.

“God help me I do,” Dean said, letting out a low whistle. Cas’s cock jumped slightly, timed perfectly with a twitch of Cas’s eyebrow, and he smiled wickedly. He finished his epic stretch and curled himself in a ball. 

Dean couldn’t help himself, so he stuck a finger in Cas’s side, eliciting a adorable squeak and giggle, Cas batting his hand away from his ticklish side.

“Stop it, Dean, or so help me-”

Dean descended on him with all his might, tickling and sqeezing. Cas writhed under him and twisted, suddenly grabbing Dean’s cock and gripping it tightly. Dean froze, staring down into mischievous blue eyes. 

“Maybe I don’t want breakfast,” Cas growled. “Maybe I just want a snack.”

Dean was torn. He really _really_ wanted Cas’s lips wrapped around him again, but he also really, really, _really_ wanted to try sucking off Cas first, and he didn’t want to rush it. He wanted to worship Cas’s body. Take his time, make him come so hard-

That line of thought wasn’t helping. Dean arched into Cas’s hand, his eyes fluttering shut. He shook his head, smirking. “No way, you need to get your strength up for what I have prepared for you later.”

“Oh, you’ve _prepared_ something for me?”

Dean blushed hard and he pushed once more into Cas’s hand. Images of Cas mounting him from behind, thrusting him into the mattress, holding his face down into the pillow, while he fucked him- 

Dean hopped up, adjusting himself in the hidden pink panties, none-too-discreetly. Cas looked positively predatory.

“You can’t fool me, Castiel Novak, I know for a fact you can barely function before coffee, and I’d rather not have you fall asleep before I can suck you off properly. Now get up.”

Cas visibly shuddered. “How dare you, Dean Winchester, put that image in my mind.” Cas struggled to sit up, then stand, falling on his first dizzy attempt, and reached out grabby hands for Dean to pull him up, sticking out a pouty lip, and batting his dark lashes. _Fuck._ Dean pulled him up, into an embrace that was closer to a dry hump, really, and resisted the urge to throw Cas onto his bed and yank his pants down. He settled for sucking lightly on the spot behind Cas’s ear, nipping at it, causing Cas’s breath to hitch and him to melt a little into Dean’s arms. 

Cas abruptly grabbed the globes of Dean’s ass and yanked their bodies together, causing Dean to groan, and pushed away with a teasing smile. 

“I have to pee, so that was only going to get so far.” He grabbed a shirt from Dean’s trunk, the Pink Floyd one, and pulled it on over his head.

“You going to Stratton’s in sweatpants?” Dean asked, eyebrows up. Cas never looked anything but impeccably dressed. 

“I’m going to Stratton’s in _your_ sweatpants,” he said with a wink, and practically sashayed out of the cabin, stealing Dean’s flip flops on the way, and heading to the latrines. Dean heard him growl in frustration as his steps got further away. “Aaahh, I’m so hard, I’ll probably piss straight up.”

Dean chuckled and put on socks and shoes. Cas was a vision in Dean’s clothes. He looked freshly rolled out of bed, _Dean’s_ bed, and the loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants- 

Dean fought a ridiculous grin. It was like he had loosened up something in Cas. He felt warmth at the thought.

********

They were too late for breakfast, of course, but Dean was actually pretty happy about it, considering the moaning Cas was doing around the double-bacon cheeseburger in his mouth. Dean shifted in his seat, the cheap nylon of the panties rubbing pleasantly against his heated flesh. Cas met his eyes and smirked, licking his lips and holding Dean’s stare. Dean wanted so badly to just slip under the table on his knees-

“Ahem,” Charlie cleared her throat. Dean and Cas both jolted and looked over at her. The entire table was staring openly, some surprised, some leering, some grinning knowingly. Oops. Dean flashed his most charming smile, and took a huge bite of his burger to avoid talking. He glanced back at Cas, who seemed to shrink in his seat, face reddening. Also oops. He hadn’t asked Cas how they wanted to handle things in public. He instinctively reached out and covered Cas’s hand with his own, rubbing his thumb across his knuckles, forgetting the table again, and not caring.

“SO, anyway,” Charlie’s amused voice pulled the conversation away from them, and she started asking about plans for that night. Dean basically tuned them out.

“You okay, Cas?” Dean asked softly. Cas flipped his hand over, tangling their fingers, tilting his head in that cute way, and looking both enamoured and confused. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. He flashed a grin and dipped a fry in ketchup, leaving their hands mingled in the middle of the table. Dean sighed in relief. He tuned back into what Charlie was saying. 

They had one more night before the kids got there, and Jody and Donna strongly discouraged drinking the night before the campers came. So usually they would cook out at Jam Hall and watch movies, building a fire behind the cabin. It was a nice tradition and helped the staff get more comfortable around each other. The CIT’s were allowed to hang out for food, and Dean was happy to spend time with Sam- he missed the kid during camp. But his brother was getting older now, and had his own friends, so that would be something new to adjust to. He frowned, and felt Cas squeeze his fingers, making him look up into worried eyes. He gave Cas a reassuring smile and squeezed back. 

********

Cas hung back a bit at the cookout. Thank God for Charlie; she grabbed him and put him on salad duty, much to Dean’s amusement and Cas’s frustration. Dean laughed as he watched Cas struggle with the lettuce spinner from his viewpoint behind the grill outside. He and Benny had claimed the title of Grillmasters for the last 3 years, and this year they had managed to gather enough money together for Benny to do an old-fashioned crawfish boil. Benny had a extra large stock pot filled to the brim with crawfish, potatoes, corn, shrimp, mushrooms, onions, green beans and a hell of alot of Louisiana seasoning. Dean was grilling chicken as another option. And veggie burgers for Anna and Charlie. 

The night went by too quickly, food, singing, and a lot of laughter. The sun went down behind the hills of Hilltop, and they built the fire up. Dean tried to gave Cas space so he could socialize, but he kept finding himself gravitating toward him, as if there was some invisible tether that connected them. Cas would catch his eye and his lip would twitch in a barely-there smile. It gave him a warm feeling in his gut. He wondered how many people knew that he and Cas were together. 

Dean sat next to Charlie on a log close to the fire. She seemed to be brooding a bit.

“What’s up, kiddo?” he asked, nudging her side until she let him have a drag off her cigarette. “I haven’t seen you smoke in years.”

She blew a thin stream of smoke into the air and made a face. “Yeah, now I remember why I don’t anymore. Keep it.”

Dean tossed it into the fire instead where it was ash in seconds. “Come on, spill it.”

Charlie’s eyes darted over to where Anna was talking to Victor. Anna was laughing, throwing her red hair back over her shoulder- a classic tell for the girl. Dean distinctly remembered some of that going on before she headed off in the woods with him last year. He grimaced, and turned back to Charlie.

“I’m really sorry she’s acting that way. I...I wish I could do something to help, but I’m kind of crap at this kind of stuff.” 

Charlie shrugged her shoulders and stared into the fire again. Dean’s eyes were drawn in as well, watching the flames dance gave him a soft blank feeling in his mind. Bobby always called it “Caveman TV.”

Dean looked around for Cas. He was sitting on the deck with Meg, who had come up for the festivities. They looked to be having a very deep conversation. Every once in awhile, they’d glance over at Anna, then quickly at Charlie. 

Uh oh. Dean knew that look. Meg was scheming and dragging poor unsuspecting Cas into it. Dean gave Charlie a sideways hug and headed to the deck.

“--deserves better.” Meg grinned widely at Dean as he approached Cas from behind and wrapped his arms around him. He thought doing ‘guess who’ might be a little sappy. But he kind of felt sappy. Cas grabbed his wrists and pulled him around even tighter and Dean had to kneel to properly hug Cas from behind.

“You guys are such nerds,” Meg said, her pointy little smile and raised eyebrow directed at Dean. 

Cas hummed. “That’s not such a bad thing, right?”

Dean nodded against the nape of Cas’s neck and sniffed a little. He wanted to get him down to Julie’s Hollow, and soon. 

“Ok, this borders on gross, so I’m going to ignore it and hope it goes away,” Meg snarked. “Anyway...on to new business. Now that you two lovebirds are all happy and shit, I need something else to keep my bored mind busy. These too,” she gestured to Anna and Charlie, “need to get their shit together. I refuse to have to tuck Charlie into her bed that drunk and pitiful ever again. I had to keep her from stealing Anna’s pillow off her bed and embarrassing herself when Anna came back in the morning. I have no fucking clue how you guys make it through a whole summer without memory foam or something. Those cots are like torture devices.”

“Thank you for babysitting, Meg,” Cas said sincerely. She waved him off. 

“Just doing my civic duty. And Benny gave me $20.” She smirked.

Dean through his head back and laughed. “There’s my girl,” he wheezed eventually, “I’s worried you’d gone soft on me.”

Meg shrugged and smiled her little enigmatic pointy smile at him.

Dean got off his knees, sliding in beside Cas instead. “Well, there’s not too much to be done, it’s pretty one-sided,” Dean said picking at the wax that dripped on the table from one of the many candles made during Staff crafts.

“I don’t know about that,” Cas rumbled. “Anna can’t go 5 minutes without quoting Charlie or telling me something funny or sweet she did. They have a daily running conversation via text. Apparently haven’t missed a day since Charlie had surgery on her wrist- she fell asleep or something, and Anna was beside herself worried. I got texted all day and into the night, until Charlie finally texted her back. Anna loves her. I am certain. She’s still just really hung up on our parent’s choices for her life- I don’t blame her, I was there not that long ago. She had to witness Mother’s complete meltdown. At least I didn’t tell them I’m gay; she probably wouldn’t have stopped wailing about grandchildren instead of getting her 5 o'clock cocktail.”

Dean looked at Cas in amazement. He’d never heard him talk about his family so openly before. He was curious now. “What about Gabe? How does he fit into all of this?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Gabriel is such a brat. A genius, but a brat. He made partner at the firm when he was weeks out of Stamford, the headhunters were stalking him to join other firms. Big names. Father offered him an allowance on top of his salary and he took it- and basically Father leaves him alone. Gabe brings in expensive clients and has never lost a case. That’s why he comes here all summer. Because he can.”

This was news to Dean. It was really interesting stuff, especially since Gabe was always bumming a dollar or two from Dean. 

“So, Anna.” Cas sighed and looked back at Dean. “It seems like she wants to get away from home so much, that she’s grabbed the closest man available and staked a claim.”

They watched as Anna continued to flirt with Victor, who was smiling broadly. He dipped his head down and whispered in her ear. She frowned and nodded her head. He gave her a brief hug and wandered over to talk to some others. Anna stood there for a few seconds longer, watching him go, and staring off into space. She seemed to shake herself, spun on heel and marched over to the fire pit. She plunked down in the seat next to Charlie Dean was just occupying, and dropped her head to Charlie’s shoulder. Dean grimaced again. He wondered what Charlie would do; brush Anna off or be the stability in her life as always. Of course, after a few seconds, Charlie wrapped her arm around Anna and rested her cheek on the top of her bowed head. Anna’s shoulders began to shake, and even from the distance they were, Dean could hear the occasional snuffle and sob. Charlie rubbed slow circles on her back and tuned slightly to embrace her more fully. Part of Dean wanted to be mad- for Anna using her friend like that. But also a part of him understood. He had stood so close to Cas on that platform in the trees, holding him tight, thinking that was all he was ever going to have and it was better than having none of him at all. Maybe they’d work it out or Charlie would move on. Dean watched how gentle Charlie was with Anna in her arms and saw that moving on may never happen for her. 

Dean finally tore his eyes away and glanced over at Cas. His blue eyes were fixed still on the couple, unshed tears gathering at his lower lid. Dean pulled him closer and kissed a peck on his cheek. Cas smiled. 

“Okay, you guys are officially the grossest cutest couple, and I’m going home before you gave me diabetes from all the sweetness.” Meg stood and sighed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help push these two at each other. Their pining is pissing me off.”

“Bye Meg,” Cas said, looking up at her finally. “Thanks. Maybe I will take you up on a trail ride soon.”

She smirked and walked off, tipping a salute to Charlie as she walked by the far side of the fire on her way back to her house by the horse barn. She was really a cool chick and Dean was starting to like her more. 

Cas stood as well and stretched. Dean had the urge to lick the strip of skin that appeared between the waistband of his sweatpants and the Pink Floyd shirt Cas was still wearing. It brought back fragments of hot moments the night before and Dean had to swallow and will his dick to stay still. 

Cas twitched a dirty little smile all for Dean. “I kind of want to fuck you in a canoe, but I don’t know if the mosquito bites are worth it.”

Dean was surprised he didn’t fall over when all the blood in his body made a mad dash for his cock. It was quickly pressing uncomfortably against the zipper in his jeans, precome making a tiny wet spot on the pink panties Cas still had no idea about. Cas leaned forward so his lips brushed Dean’s ear as he spoke.

“Or...we could fuck in the art barn. There are plenty of surfaces I’d like to see you spread out over.”

Dean couldn’t help the small moan he breathed out. 

Cas smiled against his ear. “Or…” Cas seemed to pause for dramatic effect. “I could take you right here, right now, and get fired tonight.”

Dean laughed in a weird high pitched tone, not able to help stop the image in his head of Cas taking him from behind on the picnic table with all the guys dressed as cheerleaders for some reason, cheering them on. 

“Cas you...Jesus. How the fuck am I supposed to stand up- fuck it. Meet me in the bathroom, now.”

Cas smirked and spun to nearly glide to the small unoccupied bathroom next to the laundry room. Dean tried to discretely rearrange himself, while scanning around to see how many people were watching. Everyone seemed to for once be minding their own business, so Dean made a mad dash for the bathroom, ducking in and slamming the door behind him and turning the lock. 

Cas was casually sitting on the counter next to sink, leaning back against the mirror. Dean growled and moved swiftly between his legs, their mouths clashing together in a desperate kiss, both seeming to make up for what they put the brakes on that morning.

Cas scooted forward until his hard length was pressing against Dean’s and he moved his hips just so, and grinded them together- Dean shuddered, pressing back. He’d never felt something so erotic. His hands came up to grip Cas’s jaw, moving the kiss into something deeper, more sultry. Cas slowed the thrust of his hips, reaching between them to unbuckle Dean’s jeans. Dean tried to stifle his smile as he plundered Cas’s mouth with his tongue, waiting for a reaction. Cas slipped his fingers through the zipper and stroked Dean’s cock through the satiny pink panties. Cas gasped in his mouth. He froze, the pulled back to look at Dean as if he were just meeting him.

Dean grinned at him, pushing into his hand, getting him moving again. Cas was suddenly wild, biting at Dean’s lips, sucking his neck, and growling in the back of his throat.

“I guess that’s a good reaction,” Dean panted between kisses. Cas just bit and sucked his earlobe in reply.

Cas moved to get down from the sink, but Dean held him back. “Let me try something?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes at Cas and biting his kiss-swollen lip and looking down lustfully at how Cas was straining against the cotton of the sweatpants. Cas moaned and flopped back against the mirror again, going slightly limp.

“Dean,” he croaked, “keep looking at me like that, and we won’t get my pants down in time.”

Dean smiled wickedly, gladly stripping away his t shirt and lowering his jeans, kicking off his boots in the process. Cas had a hand pressed to his mouth as he gaped at Dean, specifically his cock, which was barely contained in the cheap pink shiny nylon. The tip was peeking out the waistband and a bead of precome formed there. Slowly, Cas reached out a finger and swiped it off, then sucking it off his finger. Dean had to brace himself on the sink, hovering over Cas’s lap. He smiled and shook his head. “You’ll be the death of me, Castiel Novak.”

He slid off Cas’s pants in one swift movement, Cas lifting his hips for ease. His cock was flushed and full, weeping at the tip as well. Dean wanted it both in his mouth and in his ass at the same time- it was a little disorienting. He settled for running his fingertips over it, just noticing how hot the bathroom had become. They were both glistening with sweat. Cas pulled off his shirt and they were both completely naked. Dean adjusted his grip and watched Cas’s face as he let forth all sorts of dirty sounds, and so much more use of the word fuck then Dean had ever heard him say. He tore his eyes away and slipped to his knees, the cold tile a refreshing contrast to the humid, musky-scented air. The smell of Cas’s arousal spurned him on and keeping their eyes locked, he licked the tip of his cock, just to taste it. Not bad, little salty, but it smelled so strongly of Cas where he was positioned, that he suddenly wanted to lick every square inch of him. But not now. He was going to gave his first blow job ever. And by the looks of it, it wouldn’t take much to get Cas off at that point.

He kept stroking the shaft and swirled his tongue around the tip, something he liked on himself, and tried to duplicate some of the things Cas did with his mouth to him on that fateful day. He sucked Cas’s head into his mouth, pressing the tip of his tongue into the slit, directly tasting the precome. He felt his own cock twitch in sympathy, and he swallowed down Cas’s cock as far as he could go and gagged slightly. He pulled back and gave Cas a reassuring nod and dove back on. He’d seen one or two porns (or maybe a lot, really) where this dude could get the other dude’s dick all the way down his throat. He wanted so bad to do that for Cas, but he’d have to take it carefully so he didn’t do anything embarrassing like puke. It suddenly occurred that any blowjob porn he’d ever watched had been men, just because they seemed to enjoy it so much more. Dean groaned around a mouthful, rolling Cas’s balls a little, as he would his own. It was way easier than he thought it would be. Cas was writhing against the mirror, finally grabbing at Dean’s hair and threading his fingers through it. Dean sank a little lower with each bob, feeling the blunt head of Cas’s cock rub along the ridged roof of his mouth, relaxing his throat, and pushing a little further. His gag reflex didn’t trigger, but he swallowed from the sensation, and Cas stopped breathing for a couple of seconds. Dean felt him swell in his mouth, so he bobbed again and swallowed a second time, and Cas’s eyes were locked on his as he stiffened and whispered Dean and came in pumps down Dean’s throat. He swallowed down, and pulled off a little while Cas was still spurting in waves, bobbing again, and getting a little come smeared on his cheek when he pulled off. He was suddenly pulled up by his ears and kissed almost violently. Cas gripped him through the panties, then yanked until they ripped out of the way, and Dean looked down, gasping as Cas only had to stroke him three times and he was coming, yelling out a few fucks and Christ and other incoherent sounds. Cas pumped him through it, wrapping the torn panties around his dick, the texture causing a sensation that had him spurt out a few extra times onto the fabric. He shuddered and leaned against Cas, since his legs no longer worked at all. They were panting in each other’s ears, sweating profusely, and covered in Dean’s come and saliva. 

Cas repositioned him and turned on the cold tap, washing his hand off, stopping to suck a little dribble that had made it up his wrist somehow. “Dean…” Cas drawled, “I don’t know how that could possibly be your first time with a dick in your mouth, but you have a mouth made for it. Holy fuck.”

Dean caught a glance of himself in the mirror, He was flushed, his hair was on end from tugging, his eyes were still dilated and his lips were swollen from be stretched so much. Cas really had a big fucking dick. God, he couldn’t wait to have it up his ass. He grinned to himself. Not now. He could wait. He felt a little cheesy, but he didn’t want his first time with Cas to be in a canoe, or over a table (though their second and third time would be); he wanted Cas to lay him down on an actual bed (not a cot) and push into him slowly, working their way up to a fast paced slamming, their bodies smacking against each other-

“Are you serious?” Cas said incredulously, “What are you thinking about, because your penis seems to be very interested.”

As if in response, Dean’s cock twitched. He stood and staggered to the shower. He put the water on cool and pulled off the remnants of the pink panties and held them up for Cas’s inspection.

“You’re just full of surprises, Dean Winchester,” Cas said fondly, “One down, 19 more to ruin.”

Dean shuddered and leered back at him. Fuck yes. He could picture himself wearing them under his clothes on weekends for the rest of the summer- wait.

“Can I have my boxers back?”

Cas shook his head, smirking. “I guess. Don’t want anyone else to see you in these- especially my brother, since you live 4 feet from him.”

“Ew,” Dean wrinkled his nose and got into the shower. “Don’t remind me.”

“For my eyes only,” Cas whispered as he stepped in behind Dean, rubbing his palms over the globes of Dean’s ass.

“Dean?”

“Yeah,” he moaned.

“What did you think of when you were using my conditioner to masturbate?

Dean let his head drop back onto Cas’s shoulder, hips thrusting as fingertips traced circles over his hips and pelvis, not quite touching anything yet. 

“I thought about you.” Dean could feel his dick harden again.

“Yeah?” Cas ran his hands around and squeezed Dean’s cock gently.

“Yeah- ah! You were- ah! Pinning me against the wall and- ah!”

“Was I fucking you?” Cas growled into his ear. Dear god, Dean was hard again. 

“Yes,” he whispered in a broken voice. Cas slid his left hand back behind Dean and felt down his crack until he pressed on his furled hole, making it throb and pleasure pulse inside him again.

Cas leaned slightly and grabbed a bottle of random hotel conditioner that had been left in there.

Oh fuck, is he going to fuck me in the shower? Dean tensed a little.

“Relax Dean, we won’t do that today. I just want to make you feel good. Can I do that?”

Dean slumped again, nodding and closing his eyes as he felt fingers slide back against his hole. He automatically pushed back into Cas’s hand, causing Cas’s finger to slip in a little.

“Oh,” Cas said, surprise in his voice, “you’ve been practicing, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Dean hissed out as he pushed back onto Cas’s finger, pushing it deeper. It felt so good. It burned a bit, but he could feel the heat of Cas’s hand, and it felt so much better than the vibrating razor handle. 

“You’ve been fingering yourself? When?”

“In the shower- ah god, but- ah yes, right there, but not just my fingers- oh fuck, I can take another, Cas another- ugh,” Dean felt his cock fill even more when Cas’s second finger breached him, pulling slightly at his rim, his thumb stroking it out the outside.

“What else?”

Dean could feel no shame or embarrassment in the state he was in. In grunts and moans, he explained his trip to Walmart and the razor handle in the shower house.

To his surprise, Cas laughed, pausing his hand for a second. He turned so his lips were on Dean’s ear again.

“You think of me when you came?”

“Yes!” 

“Do you think you could come right now, just from this?” Cas took over and started working his fingers in and out, dropping Dean’s cock in favor of holding him up while thrusting two wiggling fingers in and out, twisting, searching. 

“Yes!”

Cas was thrusting against the back of Dean’s hip, a little conditioner to ease the way. Dean’s hole fluttered around the fingers in him, begging for more. Cas must have read his mind, because when he pulled out the two, there was a third pressing back in alongside. It was a stretch Dean had never felt before. It was a little painful, but he relaxed into it and arched his back a little, causing them to slip in further. He nearly passed out from the feeling of one of Cas’s carefully short fingernails grazing his prostate. He could swear he felt the smooth surface of his nail gently press, and sparks flew before his eyes. He moaned, rocking back onto the fingers and meeting Cas’s hips thrust against his hip. The hardness moving on him there, Cas holding him tight across him middle, the brush against his prostate, the fucking fullness he felt from his asshole being stretched around three fingers, was suddenly so much and so everything, and all he ever wanted and needed, he felt so complete, that he yelled out words and came hard, harder than the first time, spattering the tile, and feeling Cas come against his skin, rubbing himself through it. 

Cas slowly removed his fingers and held Dean’s back tightly against his chest. They were both still panting. Dean leaned on the wall- he wanted to see Cas’s face. Cas held him from turning.

“Dean, I…”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“I, um, I have to go.” Cas left him propped against the wall and ducked out of the shower. 

“What? What happened? What did I do?”

Cas was grappling with putting on sweatpants while dripping wet. “I’m just, I…I’m not ready for all that, I think.”

“You seemed ready- wait, what?” Dean was really confused.

“Dean...you said-” Cas glared hopelessly at him, trying to make him read his mind.

Dean was two seconds from getting pissed off- Oh shit.

Oh holy motherfucking shit balls fucking son of a bitch idiot!

“I’m sorry, it kind of just slipped out, I was...I was just overwhelmed in the moment…”

Cas was looking at him strangely. “So, you’re saying you don’t mean that?” He sounded a little choked.

Dean balked. Oh no. “Yes? No, I don’t know, please don’t leave.” His voice was getting smaller and smaller. “Please.”

Cas took a step forward, reaching out then-

Cas backed up and grabbed the shirt off the sink and ducked out the door shutting it behind him. 

Dean closed his eyes and slid down the shower wall, not caring that he was probably getting his own come on his back. He deserved it. It was the come’s fault really. Fuck. FUCK! How was he always doing this shit? They still barely knew each other. They just started- whatever it was- that morning! And he went and did something so Dean typical. Something that would ruin it before it even got off the ground.

In the midst of his spectacular orgasm, he told Cas he loved him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and some angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to post, ya know, life stuff and things. 
> 
> I have another I'm done with and need to edit slightly in the laziest way possible kind of like the way this sentence has been written it kind of reflects who i am as a person

Cas cursed himself for forgetting to borrow a flashlight in his haste to leave. At least the moon was nearly full that night, and it lit up the gravel road well enough when his eyes adjusted. It would be easy to get to the art barn, turn on the lights, maybe call Benny or Andy to come meet him with a flashlight-

But then he might have to explain why he looked like he did. He wished he had held onto his cell a little longer, but it was dead and back in the safe in the office. He felt so stupid for getting his hopes up, that he’d be able to do this thing with Dean, like a normal person.

But he wasn’t normal. None of them were. Anna was scared of what her heart wanted, Gabriel never stayed with the same person longer than a week, Rebecca was hiding in Europe, and Cas himself was… 

He didn’t know what he was. Whatever it was, he wasn’t deserving of Dean-

Cas stopped in the middle of the road and stared up at the moon. It looked so close to being perfectly round, but was still slightly incomplete. It always made him a bit uncomfortable to see it that way, though at any other phase he could appreciate its beauty. It was like his artist’s eye wanted to complete the circle, but he had no way of doing that. He could only wait another day and hope to catch it in it’s fullness the next night.

He blinked back hotness from his eyes and continued walking, eyes fixed on the glowing road a few feet in front of him. He couldn’t help but think of the night before- staggering through the darkness with Dean, using his natural ability to hear the stream to guide them back to the unit. He wondered if they had been able to see the road as well as he could now, would they ever have slept on the floor together? Would they have held on to each other and spoken of personal things, and decided to give themselves a chance to be together?

He felt foolish. He knew that maybe he had been rash, running away before he gave Dean a chance to explain, but he was terrified in the moment. It was too much. He could not be responsible for Dean’s heart, it was too much too quickly. He would inevitably fuck things up, be unable to return such a precious thing, and he would ruin Dean. 

What was almost worse was to wonder- what if Dean didn’t really mean it? If he just said it in the heat of the moment and it was a throwaway statement. Cas blinked rapidly, the road going fuzzy in front of him. He stopped again, breathing deeply, holding back the sobs. He just wanted to go to bed and stop thinking about everything. 

The road forked ahead of him. To the left was the art barn and the dark trailhead to Hogan, to the right was the start of Julie’s Hollow and the turnoff to come through the field to the unit. He wiped at his eyes with his wrist and took off to the right. The moon was bright enough that he’d get there just fine. Hopefully his bunkmates would already be asleep, and he could just quietly collapse into bed and hide under the covers until morning. 

Decision made, he walked with a quicker pace, feet crunching over the gravel. The temperature had dropped, but it was still pleasantly cool, and a light breeze was coming from the direction of the river. The closer he got to the turnoff, the louder the river got, and the soothing sound found him taking the mowed path through the tall grass to the canoe dock and the boulders and trees he had tried to capture in the painting of Dean. His heart twisted painfully in his chest. 

The canoe they had slept in together was still where they had left it, shining cooly in the moonlight. He stepped in and slid to the bottom, lying flat on his back, staring up at the visible stars. The moon was so bright it had washed out many of the constellations, but it was beautiful and brought him back to falling asleep with Dean earlier in the week. 

They could have just stayed friends. That would have been much better. 

But Cas knew that was a lie. The magnetic attraction he had to Dean was inescapable. Was that love? He had absolutely no context to put that in. He knew he loved his family, he had a fondness for a dog Gabe had when they were growing up, but any other type of love…

No idea. Just entertaining the idea that he might be in love with Dean terrified the fuck out of him. 

He closed his eyes and tried to relax. The unbidden image of Dean, arching against his body in the shower, writhing on his fingers sprung up, making him shiver. Why did Dean have to ruin everything by shouting out Cas’s name followed by a husky I love you? 

And why had it made Cas come when he heard it?

********

 

Cas woke to the sound of very loud crows crowing, cutting harshly through the morning air. Squinting and rubbing his eyes, he guessed it was barely after dawn, and he had slept in the canoe for around four hours. He groaned at his stiff back as he sat up and looked around. There was a small cluster of deer about 10 yards away, serenely eating clover. The small spotted young deer were close by their mother’s legs, tails flicking and ears alert. Cas stayed still and watched as they slowly moved further down the river and out of sight.

Cas stood, took a piss by the river, and tried to decide what to do. The campers were scheduled to arrive that afternoon, so he had plenty of time to get the art barn cleaned up and himself showered and changed. The coffee pot was calling him, but what if Dean was there? He wasn’t sure he knew how to explain his behavior the night before and knew he wasn’t ready to face Dean.

He trudged off the way he came, climbing the sloping hill to Hogan, relieved that the only person in the unit was Sam- until he remembered Sam was Dean’s little brother and Dean’ sounding board.

Cas opened the screen door and Sam looked up from where he was packing his duffel bag. His bed was stripped, and Sam looked blankly at Cas as he stood in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked.

“Moving,” Sam said brusquely.

“Oh.” Cas felt so uncomfortable. “Where?”

“Whispering Oaks. They’re switching me with Kevin. Michael and Zach are being their usual douchey selves, and I can handle them a lot better than Kevin can. It’s cool. You’ll like Kevin.” He shrugged with one shoulder and hauled up his bag. He seemed in much lower spirits than usual. Cas really really hoped it had nothing to do with Dean.

“Are you okay, Sam?”

Sam sighed and set the bag down again. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s just…” Sam shuffled his feet a bit before continuing. Cas’s heart pounded. 

“It’s just that Jess sort of...I don’t know...rejected me last night?”

Cas hid his relief. “I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” It wasn’t Cas’s usual role to know how to be supportive, but he had this weird pit of...empathy? guilt?...in his gut and wanted Sam to feel better.

Sam smiled wryly and stared off into space. “I don’t know. She told me she wasn’t really interested in dating anyone this summer. And she was talking a lot to Brady yesterday...he and I are friends, but I don’t know. If she likes him, I want her to be happy, you know?”

Cas nodded and thought of his own sister and Charlie. Maybe that’s what love looked like. Wanting them to be happy even if it is at the cost of your own happiness. Cas knew he wasn’t strong enough to survive losing Dean affections to someone else. He’d most likely throw a fit and punch someone.

Cas grabbed Sam’s bedroll and his backpack. “Come on, I’ll help you take this over and then we’ll get coffee at the art barn. Okay?”

Sam smiled, flashing dimples. It was only with that smile that Cas could see the brothers’ resemblance. “Sound like a plan. Dean always says coffee fixes everything.”

Cas held in a wince and made a detour to grab his own backpack, already packed with his uniform- they only wore them on the first and last days of sessions- and followed Sam out the door and on the trail to Whispering Oaks. It was empty as well, so they dropped Sam’s stuff and headed down for a well deserved cup of coffee. At least if Dean was there he’d have Sam as a buffer so it wouldn’t get serious. He really hoped Dean would just stay away for awhile. It would just be easier. 

But a small, tiny, secret part of himself wanted Dean to be there, holding a steaming cup and wearing that bright ‘morning sunshine’ smile.

Sam chattered on about what the first session would be like, filling Cas in on all the all-camp activities and how he was getting to help out on the ropes course a little on Wednesday. Cas was grateful, focusing on the trail and Sam’s words to keep himself from thinking about if Dean would be in the art barn or not. 

He was more disappointed than anything when he walked in and didn’t smell coffee. He quickly got to work, making a pot, talking easily with Sam about various projects he had planned for the summer. Sam wandered around, looking in the different rooms and commenting on how well Cas had organized the place since the last guy. Cas was fumbling with the coffee tin when he head a gasp. Sam had wandered into the clay room. Oh shit. The painting.

Cas dropped the coffee tin, spilling it on the counter and rushed into the other room, near panicking. He ran through the barn, ready to explain away what Sam had seen, but was greeted by an unexpected sight. 

Sam was poking at a large, new-looking kiln set up in the corner. Cas’s canvas was still covered, thank God. Cas breathed through the heart attack he nearly just had. 

It seemed Dean had delivered and set up the new kiln sometime that morning. Cas was disappointed he didn’t stick around for coffee. But why would he? He had left Dean hurt, naked, vulnerable, and alone. 

Cas was suddenly and acutely aware of his selfishness.

Sam was frowning at Cas. “I thought you’d be more excited.”

Cas huffed a fake laugh, pinning on a smile just as fake. “Yeah, no, this is great. We really needed this.”

Sam regarded him with a sympathetic smile. “I know what happened last night,” he said softly. “Dean told me. He was really upset.”

Cas’s stomach dropped to the floor. He tried to say something but it came out as a bit of a squeak and his face burned.

Sam shook his head. “No, don’t worry, I won’t make you talk about it, just...don’t worry that anyone will be mad at you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all me.”

Cas’s head reeled. He hadn’t thought about the fact he’d have to face all of Dean’s friends too. He trusted Dean and Sam not to tell anyone any details, but they were sure to notice how things went from hot to cold in one night. Cas sat down on a bench and put his head in his hands.

“I’m serious, Cas, no one will mess with you about it. We have to focus on the kids as soon as they get here, most likely no one will notice anything- they have a bunch of rowdy excited kids, some of which are off their ADD meds for the summer, running around them. Like herding cats, Jody says.” Sam grinned, which was slightly comforting. Cas relaxed a little. It was strange a 16 year old kid was giving him advice on his love life. 

“You are a bit wise beyond your years,” he huffed out a nervous laugh. 

Sam nodded thoughtfully. “I just know this place. And I know everyone here. They all are part of the same wayward family. We all come here for different reasons, and even if we fight or don’t like each other, it all works out somehow. And you’re family forever. Even douches like Zach and Michael.”

Cas nodded, feeling hopeful for the first time since the night before. He had nowhere else in the world to go, and he couldn’t afford to lose what little he’d built up over the week. Gabe or Anna would help him out, he was sure of it, but he didn’t want to leave this place just yet. Maybe he and Dean could just go back to things the way they were. 

He knew that was impossible. 

Sam left after a cup of coffee and Cas headed to the shower house. There were a few staff members still showering, so Cas wasn’t too late getting started that morning. Everyone was polite and tired, and left him to take a quick shower. He stayed in the stall furthest to the left, keeping his eyes away from Dean’s stall, carefully not picturing Dean in there-

His eyes flicked up to the shelf where Dean kept his shower bucket, thinking about the razor. But the bucket was absent. So was the green towel. He frowned and finished washing his hair. It was getting a bit long- he’d get it cut that weekend. Charlie was pretty good with a pair of scissors.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay. I love you and think about you all the time.  
> I have to edit the massive amount of smut I wrote in ch12, so more coming soon!
> 
> see what i did there? Coming lolololol im like 12

The week rushed by with a vengeance. Dean was thrown into the fire of it: ropes, rappelling, maintenance, and a million other things to keep him from thinking about Cas. But of course, all he could do was think about Cas.

He had tried to smooth things over as best as he could, give him some space. He went to Anna and asked if she could keep the other girls from hounding Cas about the situation, just that Dean was backing off and letting Cas enjoy being at camp and not the object of gossip. He really worried Cas would get chased off from camp, and he couldn’t stomach the idea of never seeing him again.

Because what he said was true. He had just barely met the guy, but he knew deep down, in the depths of his soul, that he was in love with Cas. 

He tried really hard to shake it off, blaming it on it just being the first man he’d ever been with, or the full moon, or whatever. But his heart was set, and it remained fully in the hands of a man that didn’t return his affections. And the more time that passed, the truer it became.

At least Charlie would commiserate with him. They’d sit on the back porch of Jam Hall and smoke cigarettes until curfew, talking about anything and everything but the Novak family.

The temperature shot up that week, as was expected in early July. Dean decided to move his shower stuff back to the unit, since mid-day cold showers were usually what the staff encouraged the campers to do when it got so hot. The mandatory rest-hour after lunch turned into showers and naps, which kept the kids from getting cranky and overtired in the afternoon. 

It was finally Friday and Dean was taking his usual (new) trek through Forest Isle, not really avoiding the road past the art barn, per se, but taking a shortcut...that maybe took a little longer. And involved a couple of sharp inclines. But it was fine because he needed to give Cas space, or whatever, though he didn’t know exactly why. He was the one who made a fool of himself, Cas was… 

Well, Cas was allowed to do whatever he wanted. He was allowed to get over their little encounter like it was no big deal. He was allowed to eat his meals with the arts and craft nerd kids. He was allowed to hang out with Meg on his time off. He was allowed to look like nothing in the goddamn world bothered him and laugh and sing songs with the campers before meals at the Singing Tree and make friends with Hannah, actually getting her to crack a smile, and go to Walmart on a supply run with Balthazar and-

Dean realized he was grinding his teeth as he stomped down the path to the pool from Forest Isle. He paused and drank the last of his water, breathing in pants in the humid air. He swatted a cloud of gnats out of his way and continued down the path. 

The sounds of splashing and laughing carried brightly up the hill. It sounded like the girls from Hilltop were swimming their rest break. Dean groaned inwardly. He wasn’t in the mood to be ogled and cat-called by middle schooler hornballs, but he was too tired and grouchy to trek back up the hill and go around. He rounded the curve in the trail and hoped he looked as gross as he felt. 

There were giggles as he approached the pool. There was a chain-link fence enclosing the pool, and he just needed to pass by to the steps that lead to the shower house and onto the road to BTB. No big deal, just two minutes and he’d have his peace to continue to absolutely not sulk over Cas. 

“Hi Dean!” came a chorus of feminine voices in unison, followed by giggles and a few whistles. Dean cringed but smiled and waved at them. Victor was outright laughing from the lifeguard stand, batting his eyelashes and waggling his fingers at Dean. He had to crack a smile at that. If there was anyone who understood the awkward unwanted affections of pre-teen girls, it was him. 

“Dean!” 

His head snapped up, finding Sam climbing the steps from the shower house, who was studiously not looking toward the pool full of girls. Dean grinned. What a gentleman. Perfect time to mess with him.

“Sammy,” Dean cried as he caught up with him, pulling him up the steps and holding his shoulders and turning him to the the pool. “Everyone say hi to Sammy!”

“Hi, Sammy!” Giggles.

Sam shot Dean a murderous look as he blushed then waved politely at the crowd. 

“I was sent up by Donna, she needs a few things.”

They turned and headed down the steps to the infirmary. “How’d she know where to find me?”

Sam cracked a grin. “She didn’t. Donna said you’ve been slinking around avoiding the road and then I heard your name…”

“I’m not avoiding anything, I’m just… Okay, maybe I’m avoiding something, but who cares. I’m just trying to give the guy some room.” They stepped up on the porch of the infirmary and paused. “Wait a minute, exactly how much does Donna know?”

“Dean,” Sam gripped his shoulder as sincerely as he could while holding back a teasing smile, “I’m pretty sure everyone knows about you and Cas breaking up. You aren’t exactly subtle. Not your style.”

Dean scowled and ducked into the building, nearly sagging when the air conditioning hit him. The sweat on his face seemed to dry instantly in the almost frigid air. 

“Whoo! Donna, I can see my breath in here,” Dean grinned, plunking down heavily in a plastic chair that subbed as a waiting room.

“Shh!” Donna flapped a hand at him, giving him her version of a scowl, which was more like an exasperated smile. “Jillian from Tree House has heat exhaustion and taking a nap. Just keep your hollerin’ to a minimum, okay?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Dean waved to Sam as he exited. “So you need to give me a supply list?”

Donna looked confused. “Is that what Sam told you? That little stinker!” She chuckled and poured Dean a cup of ice tea. “I just wanted you to come keep me company and let me meddle in your love life.”

Dean groaned and set the tea down, standing and going for the door. Donna darted forward and pulled him around by the shoulders until he sat on the dilapidated couch in the corner of the room. He only allowed it because she pointed a floor fan at him. How the hell did everyone know about Cas? He was gonna kill Sam.

“Listen, I know you don’t want advice from an old biddy like me, but you better fix this thing with your boyfriend, because I swear it’s making the whole camp tense.”

Dean straightened up. “What? But I’ve been minding my own business, keeping my head down, you know, to um...give him space. I’ll get over it, it’s fine. He’s not my boyfriend,” he added on weakly.

Donna rolled her eyes and sat next to him, stretching her legs out and sighing. “Well, the longing glances are pretty obvious, and you’ve just been so glum this week, and me and Jody can’t keep up morale the way you can. You know how it is around here, a butterfly flaps its wings, and-”

“-Julie’s Hollow is blown away by a monsoon,” Dean finished, wondering what she meant by glum. No one even used that word. 

“Exactly. One of us is upset, the campers see it and it spreads. Gotta keep the little buggers happy, doncha know.”

Dean nodded, craving a cigarette. He guessed he’d have to try harder.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but work it out please, by next session. The kids go home tomorrow, you have plans to stay this weekend?”

Dean shook his head. He and Sam were going home to spend the weekend with Bobby and Rufus. 

Donna smirked. “Good. Bobby’ll jerk a knot inya.”

She was right. Maybe a couple days with the old grumps would cure him of his moon-eyed nonsense. 

“So,” Donna pat his knee. “You want to use the shower here? You can crash on the couch until we go up for supper.”

“You’re a saint, Donna. You got a towel?” She tossed him a clean but threadbare one. He was glad to not have to rush down to the unit. It was too damn hot and he wanted to close his eyes for a moment. 

Fifteen minutes later, he was freshly washed (he kept his hands away from his dick, like a good guest) and laid out on the squashed sofa. He drifted off listening to the hum of the air conditioners. 

******

“Where you hiding, brother?” Benny and Dean dashed around the side of the barn as soon as the whistle blew, signaling the start of the all camp activity, which was a counselor hunt this week. 

The counselors were sent to hide all over main camp, and the campers were broken into small teams with the older campers helping the younger ones. The kids had to search for the counselors and get their signatures- the team with the most signatures at the end, won. They got real creative with the hiding places, and the campers were as sneaky as possible as not to alert other teams. The prize was a sundae bar with three kinds of ice cream. 

“Yeah, I’m taking the slide again,” Dean grinned and ducked into the office door to get to the stairs to the loft. Benny waved and collected his camouflage military gear and headed back to the grove of pines near the archery field. Dean shook his head and laughed. Benny took hiding to a whole new level. No one had yet to find him the past four years, and he was never in the same place twice. 

The loft was dark and smelt faintly of the pink sawdust compound he used to sweep the dust away every week. His footsteps echoed as he jogged to the tunnel slide. He liked to position himself wedged halfway down the slide, out of sight from either end, but reachable if a kid could scramble up from the bottom with a pen and paper. It really wasn’t that hidden, but he usually got bored and would sing at the top of his lungs to lure kids over. It was fun watching them send kid after kid up the steep slick slide, and them giggling and slipping back down over and over. They weren’t allowed in the barn during the hunt, so he thought it was pretty clever.

He ducked down and slid to the bend.

“Oof!”

And directly into someone already occupying the spot.

“What the hell-” Dean twisted in the cramped spot. Shit. Of course it was Cas.

“Dean?” Cas gripped the seam of the steel slide, wiggling his sneaker back where it had been wedged to keep him from sliding all the way down. He was already dripping with sweat trying to keep from slipping.

“Um, hey Cas.” Dean froze. This was his spot, everyone knew that. “This is usually my spot. But it’s okay,” he said quickly, “you can have it, I’ll just-”

Cas’s eyes widened and he shushed Dean. There were kid voices at the end of the tunnel slide. Dean cocked an eyebrow but stayed silent. The kids were banging on the end of the slide, probably the older kids who had found him there years prior, waiting for Dean to say something. Cas kept his finger firmly over his lips, his eyes flicking around as he listened. God, his blue eyes. Even in the dim of the tunnel, Dean’s chest clenched and he broke out in a sweat. The kids’ voices wandered off, and Cas sighed and slumped slightly.

“I didn’t know this was your spot,” he said awkwardly. He was shifting from foot to foot, looking undecided, and Dean took pity on him. Ugh, he was such an idiot for the guy.

“Try turning like this. It isn’t hell on your knees and you can relax.” Cas turned like Dean suggested, ending up with his back on the curved wall, knees up to his chin, opposite Dean, his ankle touching Dean’s hip. The sudden pressure of the length of his shorts-clad leg made Dean hold his breath. It felt like his skin was buzzing from the contact. Cas sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up all over with the sweat. He smelled divine. Dean’s eye twitched at the compulsion to lick Cas’s neck and get a taste.

“Thanks,” Cas mumbled. “You can, I mean if you want, stay-”

“No!” Dean smiled, at least he hoped it looked like a normal smile, and motioned up the slide. “I mean, no, I really can’t go unless I go down- I mean I have to get um…”

“Oh,” Cas said, flushing slightly and looking down the slide at the wedge of reflected light at the bottom. They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the far away voices of the kids.

“How’s it going? I mean, how do you like teaching the kids?” Dean asked, hoping to break up the awkwardness. 

Cas brightened visibly, grinning in a way that made Dean’s stomach drop out. 

“It’s not what I had expected,” he said, tilting his head. “I really enjoy the children’s company. They each have such a...joy inside them. I find myself eager to see them every day, to show them something new, so they can create something that is all their own. It’s quite rewarding.”

This was more than Cas had said to him all week, and strangely intimate. Dean hummed in agreement, trying not to break the moment. 

“Maybe that could be what you do.” Dean blurted out quietly.

Cas’s eyebrows furrowed and he blinked, clearly not understanding.

Dean flashed a small smile, knowing he sucked at keeping bare emotion off his face. “I mean, after camp. Maybe you could keep doing that. Teach art to kids, you know? Back where I grew up, in Lawrence, my mom sometimes took me to the community center and they had art classes for kids. She was gonna sign me up as soon as I was old enough. Maybe they have something like that where you live.”

Cas was tapping his lip absently, contemplating Dean’s words. Dean tried not to stare at the curve of that lush lower lip and remember exactly how it tasted on his tongue.

“Did you ever take one of the classes?” Cas asked.

Dean grimaced, kicking himself internally. He hadn’t meant to bring up his mom- he so rarely did- but it felt good to talk to Cas about things. His heart sank knowing it wouldn’t last. 

“Nah. The fire happened before that. And then we were on the road with Dad.” Dean was horrified to feel tears burn the backs of his eyes. He cleared his throat roughly, not looking at Cas- seeing pity in his eyes now would send him over the edge. “But anyway, it’s an idea, right? You like teaching art to kids, why not do it the rest of the year?”

Dean tamped down his whirling mind as it grabbed the idea and planned his future for him. Cas and Dean together, year ‘round, living in Sioux Falls, Cas teaching during the fall and winter at the elementary school, Dean working at Bobby’s shop, coming to camp in the spring and opening it together, greeting the children and parents together, smiling and laughing-

He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to bring himself to the present. Cas appeared deep in thought. “You know,” he said finally, “that’s actually a really brilliant idea. I’m pretty sure I could have my teaching degree within a year with the credits I have, and maybe…” 

Dean swallowed the urge to grab Cas and wrap around him like an octopus, new sweat breaking out all over him. He resolutely pushed inappropriate thoughts away. God Cas smelled amazing.

Cas met Dean’s eyes suddenly. “Maybe-”

The sound of children’s voices drew near, and Cas grinned holding a finger up again to his lips. Dean couldn’t help but zero in on them. Absently he licked his own, trying to keep his breathing shallow and quiet. 

“But Dean’s always up there!” Came a tiny voice from below.

“I know, but he’s always singing some old-timey song or something, but whatever, you can climb up if you want,” came a bored teen reply.

Cas’s brows went up, mouthing old timey song? at Dean. Dean shook his head, his cheeks heating up, biting on a grin, trying to keep from laughing and giving them away. The echoing thuds of feet started up the slide, and Dean saw the top of one of the 7 year olds from Pine Hill’s heads come into view. 

“I see them!” she squeaked excitedly, promptly slipping back down the slide. Dean snorted, trying to stifle a laugh bubbling up. Cas was holding his hand over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut, shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

“Them?” came a chorus of several voices from below. Suddenly there was about three kids trying to shove themselves up the slide to see who was up there with Dean. There were shouts and grunts, and finally the older, bored sounding teen got them to settle. 

“Ok, Dean, we know you’re in there! Who else you got up there with you?”

Cas grabbed his arm, eyes imploring him to stay silent. Dean would have done just about anything at that moment to keep Cas’s hand clutched around his wrist like that. He felt a twist low in his groin. Fuck, I’m pathetic.

“It was the arts and crafts counselor! Cas-tee-ell? It was him! With Dean!” squeaked the little girl.

“Do you think you can get up there?” There were some brief negotiations and a sound of scrambling and her little head popped into view, grinning broadly. Cas reached down and helped her clamber up the rest of the way, holding on to her so Dean could sign the paper for both of them. Cas whispered a congratulations because she was the only one who found them, high-fived her and sent her down the slide. Dean fought to keep the hearts out of his eyes when Cas looked back at him. There were excited voices yelling thank you up at them and then running footsteps as they left to finishing looking. Time was almost up.

Dean was both happy and sad about that.

He kept his head down to keep from staring at Cas. He could feel eyes boring into him in the tense silence. 

“I think you might be onto something, Dean.”

Dean looked up, feeling the air thicken slightly. Jesus Cas smelled good. Dean followed a drip of sweat down Cas’s temple with his eyes and nodded dumbly. He needed to get out of there soon, before he embarrassed himself. He was hard in his pants and needed to shift his cock away from his zipper, but couldn’t move. 

Cas’s eyes were roving over his face and Dean felt so exposed. He knew he needed to apologize and clear the air, but the words were stuck in his throat.

“Listen, Dean,” Cas said slowly, “I, uh, I’m sorry for what happened that night.”

Dean’s heart sank. “No! It’s okay, you’re right, it was a mistake, I’m the one who’s sorry. Me and my big dumb mouth.”

Cas frowned, blinking. “You think we were a mistake?”

“No!” Dean blurted. “I mean, me saying that. To you. Fuck this is awkward. I just got lost in the moment, I guess. It’s not ever been like that before.” Shut up Dean. “I mean, ah Jesus, I don’t know what I mean. I really really like you, Cas, and I’m not going to apologize for how I feel about you,” SHUT UP DEAN! “But I’m sorry for scaring you off.”

Cas had his mouth hanging slightly open, blinking rapidly. Dean felt like an idiot. Well, he couldn’t possibly make things worse. So fuck it.

“Donna told me to clear the air, because it affects everyone when one of us is unhappy. And I’m unhappy. But I’m not sure I can go back to being friends with you.”

Cas looked crushed. “Oh, I see.”

“No, I don’t think you do. I can’t go back to being just friends with you, because I’d always want more. I’m an idiot. I should be happy with having whatever I can get from you, but look at Charlie. Anna is killing her, without meaning to. And I can’t do that, I’m just not as strong as her, I guess.”

Cas’s eyes were closed and his head was lowered. Dean waited in uncomfortable silence, kicking himself for probably making it worse. 

“Dean, I-”

“No, it’s okay, Cas, you don’t owe me anything. You came to camp to try and figure out what you needed to do to fix your life, and I just complicated the fuck out of that. I want you to be happy, I want you to find a home here like I did, like Anna and Gabe did. I don’t want to be the cause of pressure for you.”

Cas was gazing at him, eyes bright. “You don’t get to just do that, Dean.”

Dean startled. 

Cas shook his head and huffed in frustration. “You don’t know what I want and you didn’t really bother to ask, did you?”

Dean was dumbfounded.

Cas smiled wryly and looked away. “It’s okay, maybe I don’t really know what I want yet, but I know I’ve been missing you all week. I know playing it safe in the past has kept me from living my life. I know I don’t deserve...um. Well, maybe I don’t know that part yet either. But I can’t deny that I feel something for you. And I literally have nothing to compare it to, no way to gauge what this feeling is, and then you completely withdraw from me. I shouldn’t have ran off, but...I’m sorry.” He looked back at Dean, pinning him with an intense blue stare. “Give me time. Please. Don’t give up on me. I have to figure some stuff out, but please.” 

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. “You want me to wait for you?”

“Yes,” Cas said with pleading eyes, grabbing Dean’s arm again, sliding his hand to his palm and tangling their fingers together. “I think about you not being nearby, and it makes me feel ill. Like it doesn’t make sense. This week has been really hard- I just didn’t know how to approach you, I don’t know how to do this.”

Dean flashed back on their conversation the morning they woke up in BTB together. He tightened his hold on Cas’s hand and brought their joined hands up to rest over his thudding heart. “Yeah, I remember you telling me something like that.” A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. “Of course I can wait for you, Cas. Whatever you need. Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

Cas hitched a breath and nodded. Dean resisted the urge to kiss him, and waited.

“Thank you, Dean.” He was rubbing his thumb in small circles on Dean’s chest, oh so close to his nipple. Dean breathed deep, trying to ignore his erection’s hopeful reappearance. He felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. 

“What do you want to tell people, because you know they’ll want to know something,” Cas said with a crooked smile. Dean returned the smile.

“We can tell ‘em it’s none of their damn business, or we can tell ‘em whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Cas’s eyes flashed and he bit his lip. Dean suppressed a groan. 

“We can tell them we’re figuring it out as we go.”

“That works for me,” Dean’s voice came out lower than normal. Cas’s pupils dilated slightly in the dim light. 

A sharp lifeguard whistle cut through the air outside, signaling the end of the hunt. 

“Oh thank god,” Cas groaned, “I think my legs are going to be permanently stuck in this position.”

Dean huffed a laugh and let go of Cas’s hand so they could slide out. Dean stood, popping his back and standing facing the slide to hide his crotch until it calmed down. Not the time for inappropriate boners. Cas raised an eyebrow at him, glancing down and smirking. Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, hilarious. Stop looking at me like that so it will go away.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Cas said plaintively, “think of gross things. Zachariah in a bikini. Eating a hot dog.”

“Oh that’s just disgusting. Oh wait, no, that works, thanks.”

“Anytime,” Cas smirked. They walked together back to the singing tree to see who won.

Everyone was excitedly talking, passing up their papers to Jody for the count. After a little deliberation, it ended up being the team with the kids that found them that won. It was Cas’s name that put them over. There was arguments about how it didn’t count because they were in the same place, but Jody said there was no rule against hiding together. She had given the two of them a knowing look and Dean blushed, realizing how close Cas was standing next to him. He felt hopeful for the first time all week. 

********

Bobby and Rufus were thrilled to see him and Sammy, which made Dean immediately suspicious. They were sitting down to supper- Rufus had made a roasted chicken and sweet potatoes- when they dropped the bomb.

“We’re retiring,” Rufus announced, taking Bobby’s hand and smiling. Bobby just grunted and squeezed back, mouth barely twitching, which meant more enthusiasm than Dean had seen from him in a long time.

“Wow! Congratulations!” Sam exclaimed. “What about the shop?”

Dean straightened up. This was really unexpected. If they retired, he’d assumed he’d take over the shop, but that meant no more leaving for camp all summer. 

“Dean, that’s what we wanted to talk to you about,” Bobby said. “I just can’t see you settling down and abandoning that camp of yours to work at the shop year round, so we’re selling it to Ash.”

“Ash?” Dean was a little shocked. Ash had grown up in the shop the same way he had, hell, they were practically cousins. But the guy was a major stoner- in fact, that’s where Dean got his best weed- and Dean couldn’t see him running the whole thing alone.

“Yeah, Ash,” Rufus said sharply. “With one stipulation. He keeps you on during the year, same arrangement as usual. That okay with you?”

Dean broke into a grin. “Yeah, that’s great, actually. I just can’t believe he got enough money together to buy it. I mean I guess the guy’s so smart he could do literally anything.”

Rufus smirked at Bobby. “Love will do strange things to you.”

Dean’s brows shot up as he looked back and forth between his uncles. 

Bobby rolled his eyes and huffed. “I reckon. Joe’s gonna make an honest man out of him I guess.”

“Joe? She and Ash?” Dean shook his head. That was a surprise. Those two practically grew up together. Ash had always joked about marrying Joe one day but Dean never thought she’d go for it.

“Yeah, she pulled her head out of her ass and asked him out,” Rufus was grinning. “I’ve never seen someone get their act together so fast. Turns out he’s been stock market trading or something for the past 5 years and has a fortune tucked away somewhere. Joe didn’t even know about it when she finally came to Ash. That’s how you know it’s for real. He offered to buy the shop, at a fantastic price, and who are we to look a gift horse in the mouth? We can do all the things we want to do now, namely travel. To exotic places” He winked at Bobby. “Get this old grouch some sun.”

Dean shuddered suddenly thinking of Uncle Bobby in swimming trunks on the beach. “I see sunburn and margaritas in your future.”

Bobby frowned and blushed slightly as Rufus laughed. He grumbled, but Dean could see how pleased he was. 

“That brings us to our other news,” Bobby looked uncomfortable. “We’re kicking you out.”

“Bobby Singer,” Rufus admonished, “that’s not what we’re doing.” He turned to Dean’s shocked face. “Son, we’re selling the house to Ash too. They’re going to want to start a family at some point, and after Sam has graduated and is off to school, Ash and Joe’ll move in.”

Dean looked over to Sam, who not only didn’t look surprised, also looked a little guilty.

“You knew about this?” Dean frowned at Sam.

“Yeah, but they only just told me. They wanted to wait until you were here. Actually, I told them to wait.” He looked sheepish. “Because of what happened with Cas.”

Dean groaned and covered his face. “How much do you know?” He asked his uncles from behind his hands. 

“Well,” Bobby said, softer than usual. “We know you met someone special, and we know he dumped you.”

“That’s not how-” Dean swiped his hands down his face. “Actually, I fucked it up by chasing him off with a spontaneous declaration of my affections at an inopportune moment, but we’re talking now, so it might be okay.”

“He told Cas he loved him during sex.” Dean kicked Sam under the table. “Ow!”

“I got that with the whole spontaneous declaration thing,” Rufus waved his fork smirking at Dean’s choice of wording (obviously Rufus’s influence) and continued to eat. “Let me just ask this, son. Is he worth the fight?”

Dean knew the answer before the question was fully out of Rufus’s mouth. “Yeah, yeah he is.”

“Good. Now finish up your food, cause I accidentally made two pies and we need to get rid of them so Bobby doesn’t try to finish them himself.”

Dean beamed. Pie and family support. He was really glad he came home that weekend. 

********


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo-hoo! countdown to smut!

Cas had the volume so loud he didn’t hear Anna come in. He nearly pissed himself when she tapped his shoulder. 

“Jesus fuck, Anna!”

She just giggled at him and went over to turn the volume down on Kashmir. Cas wiped the paint from his fingertips and threw a cover over the canvas again. It was one thing for Anna to see it, but another for Donna or someone to walk in while he was detailing Dean’s cock.

“Why aren’t you gone yet?” Cas turned on Anna, who was setting up his coffee pot to percolate at 3 in the afternoon. 

Anna sighed and scooped fresh grounds into the basket. “I told him not to come. I just-” She hit the red start button and slumped down into a rickety chair. “I don’t know anymore, Cas. I thought I could do this...this thing with him. That it would be my ticket out, you know? Gabe was gone, then you left, so I was…”

“Alone,” Cas finished, feeling like a heel. He was always fixated on his own misery that he didn’t realize his sister had been the final child at home with their parents. 

“Yeah,” she said, fiddling with an empty coffee cup that said ‘World’s Greatest Grandpa’ on it. 

“Novak family meeting time!” Gabe’s loud proclamation from the doorway nearly caused Cas to piss himself again. 

“Dammit, Gabriel!” Cas rolled his eyes and grabbed a third cup for his new guest. It said ‘Visit Scenic Idaho’ with a rolling hill and cornfield. 

Gabriel sauntered in shaking a small plastic bag in front of himself. “Now has come the time to have a world-renowned Novak family meeting-”

“That’s not a thing,” Anna rolled his eyes.

“-like I said, a semi-bi-annual monthly family meeting where we get super baked and solve all our problems, now who’s with me?”

Cas grinned at his brother. He used to find Gabe’s antics a bit childish and annoying. But maybe he could use a little more childish and annoying in his life. He raised his hand. The two brothers looked expectantly at Anna. She was clearly trying not to smile but rolled her eyes anyway. They knew she was game.

“Now that’s more like it- Cassie, are we listening to Zeppelin?”

Cas nodded and poured the coffee, his eyes on his work. The room got quiet save the strains of D’yer M’ker in the background. Cas looked up at his brother’s smirk. “What?”

“Cassie you sly dog. He’s making you mixtapes now?”

“It’s, well-” Cas rubbed his neck.

“Hold that thought, lover boy, let’s burn one before we get into the heavy feelings stuff.” He pulled out a rather large already rolled joint. 

Anna turned up the volume again, and they laughed and sang along, passing the joint. Cas began to relax as his mind fuzzed, the tension going out of him. He was perched on the counter, leaning against a shelf of old magazines they used for collages. Gabriel had them cackling over his impression of their dad, and rolling off the counter with the impression of their mom. Cas was smiling so hard it hurt. He felt a small pang in his chest for the loss he felt for not having this sooner. For missing out on years at camp with his siblings. He thought wistfully of Rachel and wondered how she was and if she thought of them at all. 

“So, baby bro,” Gabe drawled when there was a prolonged silence. “Tell me your boy problems.”

Cas rolled his eyes and he felt his face heat up. He had never talked to Gabe about anything remotely similar to this, and it both made him anxious and happy. “It’s… I don’t know.” He tilted his head and thought for a moment. “Do you ever think there’s something wrong with us? Like, maybe the way we relate to others is different than other people?”

Gabe snorted. “Well, duh, Cassie, I’m surprised it took you this long to reach that conclusion. I used to think we were just born without that part of the brain that allows us to accept normal-people love. But it’s not our fault. Not bad wiring, just faulty programming.” He tapped his head for emphasis and began to roll another joint. 

Cas nodded thoughtfully and looked at Anna who had grown rather quiet. She was staring out into the yard through the large, open window, the old screen darkening the view. She had a far away look in her large doe-eyes, and a downward twist to her lips. Cas reached out and patted her hand. She grabbed onto it and held his hand tightly, as if trying to tether herself to something physical. 

“I don’t love Bart,” she whispered, “not even a little.”

Gabe snorted again. “And I thought Cas was the oblivious one. Of course you don’t love that dick, Anna. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

She shot him a look but didn’t argue. “I guess so.” She looked down at where she held hands with Cas. “Did you know Cassie is a really great artist?” 

“Oh no you don’t,” Cas protested, “don’t change the subject-”

“If you want to get technical, little bro,” Gabe chuckled, handing Cas the new joint to light, “we were talking about your tragic love life first, so out with it. What’s going on with you and Dean-o? He’s been a miserable fuck all week and I’m over his pathetic pining and longing looks.”

A small smile crept across Cas’s face and his heart thunked in his chest. The fluttery feeling in his stomach increased and he thought about the encounter in the slide the day before. Dean said he’d wait for Cas. Wait for him to figure out how to be with him. 

“Better not leave him waiting too long,” Anna said, squeezing his hand. He looked at her dumbfounded. She could read minds too- oh, he was thinking aloud again. 

Gabe and Anna doubled over with laughter and she rolled off the counter and hugged him. 

 

“Oh, I just love you Cassie!” Her arms felt sure and safe around his shoulders. It was really nice. They didn’t usually do stuff like that. He would make sure to give her more hugs from then on. 

They calmed. Cas passed the joint to Anna and cleared his throat. “Dean told me he loved me. During sex. Aaaaaand….I panicked and left.”

Neither Gabe nor Anna looked surprised.

“You knew!” Cas accused.

“Oh, honey, the whole camp knows.” Anna picked up his hand again and patted it. 

Gabe crossed his legs and pretended to take notes on an memo pad. “And How Does That Make You Feel,” he said in his best therapist voice.

Cas cracked a smile, unable to even care that everyone knew his business at that moment. He shrugged. 

“Cassie,” Anna said seriously, “I hope you figure it out before you royally fuck your shit up like I have. Before there’s no going back.”

“Psshht,” Gabe was surrounded by a cloud of dense, sweet smoke. “The fuck you mean ‘there’s no going back’ you drama queen?” He held up a hand to silence her protest. “Charlie would follow you off a damn cliff, and you think there’s no going back? That girl would do anything for you, up to and including give you a place to live and food to eat when mom and dad throw you out on your ass for not marrying that tool. You’re just chicken shit. Always going along to get along. Why don’t you just let yourself be happy? Why don’t the both of you let yourselves be happy?” 

“Well, you’re still wrapped up in everything-”

“With me it’s different,” Gabe said, motioning for more coffee in his cup. “I play the game. I’m a master at playing the game, remember? I manipulate the game until it’s my own, until I’m the one creating the game, and dad knows it, and his partners know it. That’s not something either of you could or should do in your lives. You care too much. You feel too much. Don’t follow my example, follow Rachel’s. Follow your heart and eat pray love, or whatever the fuck.”

“But are you happy?” Cas asked, truly curious.

“Sometimes. But no one is happy all the time. Those who are are lucky bastards out of touch with reality. I’m happy right now, hanging with you two nerds.” He grinned and toasted the tow with his cup. “Now let’s see some of Cassie’s artwork!” 

Gabe jumped up and wandered into the clay room, followed closely by Anna, who was giggling and pulling Cas along. He was cringing but feeling brave enough (high enough) not to argue.

The silence was deafening after Gabe pulled off the drop cloth from the canvas. Cas had all but completed the work; he just needed to glaze a little in places to show some reflected light. 

“Oh my god,” Gabe said eventually, “so that’s what Dean’s weiner looks like.” He reached out a hand to poke the canvas, but Anna smacked it away with a disapproving look.

“Don’t touch Cas’s boyfriend’s wiener.” They giggled and looked back at the artist in question. He shrugged again, pleased so far by the awe they displayed before Gabe made a joke, like he always did. 

Anna marched over to him and put her hands on her hips. “You love him,” she said simply. “Your brain just hasn’t caught up with your heart.” With that, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and tapped a few times until she had the screen with Charlie’s photo and number. Her thumb hovered as she examined the picture, he face visibly softening. She glanced up at Cas, a challenge in her eye and tapped the call button. Cas could hear the ringing.

Charlie’s voice sounded dejected and resigned even from the distance Cas heard it. 

“Hey Anna.”

“Charlie? Can you meet me at Pine Hill? I need to, um, give you something.” Anna bit her lip, her brows coming together nervously.

“I thought you’d left already.”

 

“No, I decided not to go. I’m with my brothers...and I have a um, thing for you. To give you, I mean.” She rolled her eyes at herself.

“Oh, sure. Let me just...I’m at Jam Hall, stoned off my ass, actually, with Benny and Meg.”

Anna cringed at the mention of Meg’s name. Cas figured there might be a bit of jealousy there.

“Oh, it’s okay...I guess we can meet up later.”

“Just leave whatever it is on my bed, okay?”

There was laughter in the background.

“Oh, gotta go, see you later.”

Charlie hung up, leaving Anna’s face frozen in horror.

Gabe whistled from behind her. “You better haul your cookies up to Jam and get your woman. Some kind of big gesture. Punch Meg. Puch Benny. Hell, I’ll come up there so you can punch me, if it’ll help.”

Anna’s mouth was set in a firm line. Cas loved it when she got that determined look in her eye. He grinned at her and pulled her into a quick hug. “I’m coming with you to make sure you don’t punch anyone.” She rolled her eyes and yanked him by the hand through to the door, a very entertained Gabe following them at a leisurely pace. 

The sun was setting as they crunched off down the gravel road, somewhere in the back of his mind, Cas remembered he still didn’t have a flashlight, and headed to Jam Hall. There was music playing and the lights were all on, and they could hear jovial voices as they crested the small hill. Cas scanned the parking lot for Dean’s car- as he always did- but he knew the brothers had gone home that weekend. He still felt a touch of disappointment. Maybe he could text him later.

Anna dropped his hand and took a deep breath, pulling open the screen door. They wove through the rooms to the back porch and she paused and took another breath. Benny, Meg, Charlie, and Victor were in the middle of a hand of spades. Charlie had her back to the door. The other three looked up when Anna walked in, their faces morphing into knowing smiles when they saw her determination. Cas hung back, stifling his excited smile, his nerves alight with hope for his little sister. He wanted so bad for her to be happy. 

“Charlie?” Her hand hovered over Charlie’s shoulder, not making contact. Charlie turned and looked at her, standing quickly.

“Oh, you didn’t have to come-”

Her words came to a halt when Anna pulled her forward by the shoulders and pressed their lips together. Charlie’s surprise was comical, and the tense quiet erupted into cheers when she caught on and started kissing her back. They clung to each other, kissing deeply, while everyone whistled and hooted. Benny, Meg, and Vic stood and went out to the smoking area to give the girls privacy. Cas’s heart was bursting and he knew the smile on his face was stupid happy. He followed the others out, and settled next to Meg on the couch. Gabe was already perched on the rail around the porch, shit-eating grin on his face.

“One down, one to go,” he said smugly to Cas. Cas tried to scowl, but was definitely too happy and still a little too baked to pull it off. 

The door to the screened porch slammed as Anna and Charlie disappeared in the dim light toward Pine Hill. The rest of them sat for a few hours more, chatting about the week prior and the rumors of rain coming that week. Benny and Vic left, and eventually Gabe went inside to crash on a sofa. Cas thought that was probably a good idea- seeing as he still had yet to get a new flashlight. He supposed he could check out the lost and found after breakfast the next day- sometimes when kids didn’t label their stuff, it ended up there. He settled into the sofa opposite Gabriel and drifted off thinking about Dean giggling and clutching his arm in the dark as they had walked to Beech Tree Bend. If he had Dean, he thought dreamily, he wouldn’t ever need a flashlight again.

***

The next morning started off in a rush, breakfast, uniforms, briefing on the new campers coming in that day at 2. Donna went over emergency plans in case the rain that was coming on Monday was as bad as it sometimes got- which units that got evacuated to where, and where first aid kits were located. Jody gave a firm lecture about the walkie talkies, and Dean spoke up and talked about the emergency procedures at each of the activity locations. Cas was having difficulty focusing with Dean looking all...distracting. During his speech, his eyes kept flicking to Cas’s, but he spoke fluidly, and Cas wondered who else noticed the flush that spread up his delicious neck and the corners of his mouth twitch upward when Cas grinned at him.

“Geez, give it a rest, Clarence,” Meg whispered, “don’t need to see your boyfriend pop an inappropriate boner in front of everyone.”

Cas turned sharply to her, startled. “Is it that obvious?”

“The eye-fucking or the sexual tension, you mean? No,” she rolled her eyes, not without humor, “not even a little.”

Cas blushed and kept his eyes on his hands for the rest of Dean’s talk. Oops.

The cars started rolling in at 2 sharp, and the first day routine began again. Cas felt more comfortable since he had been given a job to do. He sat near the entrance by the medical check-in and took money to hold in the office for the kids to spend on the ‘Camp Store’ at some point during the week. It was really just a small room by the bathrooms in the back of the barn, but they had shirts with Cedar Hills logos and canteens and such. It occurred to Cas that he could buy a flashlight there, perhaps, and he made a mental note to ask Jody. 

Dinner was especially boisterous- the energy Cas had felt from the staff the first day of last session had returned, and he was happy to see them all belting out camp songs at the tree before they ate. He felt giddy at the idea that it would be like this at the start of every new session. New kids, all excited to have fun and do new things, with the exception of a few homesick ones, ready to face the week full of summer fun. Cas felt a warmth in his chest. He completely understood why Dean would want to be here all the time. It held such promise.

It made sense, really. Teaching. 

He had never even thought about it before. Some of the professors he had were so good at their jobs, but he could never imagine doing that. Dealing with harried college students, stressed about grades and eager to be the top of the class. Most professors wouldn’t even answer emails outside of office hours. 

But kids were different. They were always excited, ready to learn- even the campers who claimed they didn’t ‘do art’ could make something. And the process of making things was important somehow. It boosted self-esteem and gave one a sense of value, or it did for him. He always felt more connected to himself after painting. 

He realized he got that same feeling after teaching the kids how to make candles or make a little pinch-pot in the clay room. Maybe Dean was onto something. Cas itched to get his phone back in his hand and look up Universities in the area. 

By the time the campfire was over, Cas was more certain of his future than he had been in years. It was different. It was terrifying, thinking about doing something so important, it made it seem so fragile, so delicate, like he could easily fuck it up. But he was going to try. It was out of his wheelhouse to try new things, but so was camping and he had proved his adaptability over and over all last session. He couldn’t wait to tell Dean what he had decided.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut. yas

Dean’s stomach flipped and his heart fluttered as Cas approached him while the campers were lining up to go back to their respective units. The bonfire shone in his blue eyes and his grin was contagious. Dean just knew he must have looked back at him like a love-sick puppy, but he really didn’t give a shit. He hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Cas alone since he and Sam barely made it back to camp in time. He whined to Sam the whole way back about his stupid long hair making his shower take too long, and they would be late. He was internally worried that Cas might change his mind.

But the way Cas had lit up at the staff meeting when he saw Dean put all his fears to rest. He ached to wrap him up in his arms and show him exactly how much he’d missed him over the last week, but it was hardly the most appropriate place to suck face. 

“Dean,” Cas nodded sorta formally, “it’s good to see you. Did you have a nice visit with your family?”

Dean snorted. “You could call it that. The old men are retiring and are apparently supportive of my dating a man…” He winced slightly, realizing that they hadn’t really said if that was what they were gonna call it.

Cas chuckled. “I think it’d be pretty odd if they hadn’t.” Dean relaxed. Cas leaned forward and spoke into Dean’s ear. “Meet me in the art barn as soon as everyone’s gone. I have to tell you something.”

Dean flushed, wondering if that was literal or would be like the slideshow of erotic images that flashed through his mind. “Okay,” he croaked, clearing his suddenly dry throat. Cas flashed him another smile and dodged campers as he retreated in the direction of the art barn. 

Suddenly it seemed like time slowed down. First they had a confused camper or two, not in the right line, then when that was worked out, there were missing flashlights. Once all the little kids had left with Anna and Charlie, the older ones were trying to stall as much as possible so they could stay up. He got bombarded with a list of maintenance items from both Hilltop and Tree House, and he had to run some late luggage to a unit or two. 

Finally, he put up has walkie talkie and walked down to meet Cas. He grinned as he heard the distant strains of Whole Lotta Love drift to him as he tried to keep himself from jogging down the gravel road. He was glad Cas liked the tape. 

He let the door slam behind him to announce himself this time, and Cas spun from the order forms he was perusing through. He grinned, and Dean watched in awe as if morphed into something more predatory. His dick gave a mighty twitch in his pants. He didn’t even try to pretend not to be adjusting it. Cas’s eyes flicked down to the movement of Dean’s hand, and smirked.

“I had news, but clearly, we need to play catch up,” Cas said casually, stalking slowly toward Dean.

Dean gulped and nodded, getting harder at the way Cas licked his lower lip. He stood mere inches away, his breath sweet and his eyes dark. Dean suppressed a shudder and reached for him. They came together harshly, not a drop of tenderness, but fraught with desperation, hands in hair tugging, fingers under the hems of shirts.

Cas broke away, gasping, his lips plump and wet. “Let’s go back into the clay room.”

Dean growled and spun him, pushing him to walk to the other room, hand kneading his hips and eyes glued to his round ass. Cas pulled him in and pressed him against the wall deftly sliding his tongue back into Dean’s mouth expertly. Dean was struck by the familiarity of the action, and the way his body responded, lit fire and thrummed with energy. They fumbled with each other’s belts and flies, Cas pulling his cock out and gripping it with his own in a strong hand. Dean groaned at the contact of the hard steel covered in soft silky skin, slicked with dribbled precome. Dean smacked his head back on the wall, looking away from Cas’s hand, trying to stop from coming before they’d even got started. Cas caught his mouth again, slowing his hand and thrusting his hips forward against Dean’s, and the kiss lost some of its urgency and was replaced by something deeper, more passionate. Dean’s lust filled brain tried to remember not to declare his love this time, but it just felt so right, so perfect, that he was having a hard time remembering why that was a bad idea. He clung onto Cas’s shoulders and pumped his hips in rhythm, their cocks sliding together through the channel of Cas’s hand, breaths hot and sloppy between. Suddenly, Cas dropped to his knees and Dean whimpered in a way he was too far gone to be embarrassed about. 

Cas looked up through his eyelashes, and licked Dean’s leaking cock, swirling his tongue around and swallowing down. Dean threw his head back, smacking it on the wall kind of hard that time, but who cared when Cas could do that thing with his tongue? Cas slid up and down, sucking and licking, fondling Dean’s balls. Saliva was dripping down and Dean felt a finger push along the crease of his hip, down around his balls, tracing a path with intention. He quaked in anticipation, wondering how he was going to be able to stay standing while Cas- Oh God. A finger was pressing around his hole in a massaging movement, teasing as Cas sucked him down. He was having difficulty finding words to tell Cas to go ahead and put it in already, in fact put in two, he was still a little loose from his shower that morning. All he could manage were a few incoherent whines, but apparently it was enough because Cas pressed a finger in, not stopping until he was nearly buried to the second knuckle. Dean knees tried to buckle when Cas hummed around him at his discovery of Dean’s morning efforts. Dean looked down when he heard the click of a cap being open, and caught Cas just as he withdrew the finger, drizzled lube on a second one too and pressed them both in, all the while still moving steadily with his mouth along Dean’s cock. It was so different, so good with Cas’s fingers instead of his own buried inside him. He couldn’t predict the way Cas twisted his hand, and slid down the wall in ecstasy when Cas found his prostate. Cas pulled off his cock, laughing merrily, and took his fingers out so they could pull a sort-of clean tarp over and remove the rest of their clothing. Dean had a giddiness- this was it! He was overcome by the sheer want, he just wanted Cas to fuck him already- to fill him up. He had waited long enough.

Cas clicked open the lube again, poised to wet three fingers and Dean grabbed his wrist. Panting, Dean pulled him down into a kiss- slow, deep, pouring all the want, the need, into him, kissing him breathless. Cas propped himself on one hand, cupping Dean’s jaw gently.

“I need you now, Cas, hurry up,” he whined.

“I don’t want to hurt you-”

“Cas I’m ready, believe me, I’m more than ready.” Dean pulled his knees up higher, grabbing blindly for Cas’s hip to pull him forward. Cas relented and swiped the new lube over his dick and leaned in. Dean’s eyes fluttered closed as the blunt head of Cas’s cock teased his rim. Finally Dean felt him press, the pressure increasing, and, good lord, it was so much bigger, so much more than fingers. Dean breathed and opened his eyes into Cas’s worried face, his eyes turbulent oceans, his face dripping sweat from the effort of holding back. Dean relaxed as much as he could and pulled at Cas’s hip again. “Keep going,” he gasped.

Cas shivered visibly and pushed forward again, moving through the ring of muscle with the swollen head of his cock. Dean moaned loudly, letting go of Cas’s hip to lower his legs as Cas pushed in, to wrap them around his back, trying to pull him in faster. Soon Cas’s balls came to rest against Dean’s backside. It was silent in the art barn save the heaving breaths of the two, and the sound of the cicadas outside. Cas propped himself on elbow over Dean, leaning in for a kiss- this one slow and gentle, causing Dean’s chest to ache with need. Soon the stretched, aching, full feeling went from almost too much to almost not enough, and he twitched his hips a little, drawing a gasp from Cas. Cas pulled out a little and rocked forward, sliding back into Dean with a grunt. “God, Dean, you feel so good,” Cas murmured against his lips. Dean was suddenly hit with emotion, embarrassing emotion, and he suddenly felt like crying. That would surely ruin everything, so he growled and bit Cas’s lip and braced his hips upward, meeting Cas’s stroke. Cas sped up, pausing only to kneel up, staring down at Dean with dangerous eyes and red, kiss-bitten lips. He grabbed Dean’s hips and lifted him, shoving a wadded up bundle of their clothing under him and resumed thrusting. The new angle caused Dean to cry out, his hands scrambling to find purchase on the tarp. Cas was holding his legs straight up and against his shoulders, and Dean was unable to do anything but lie there and take whatever Cas did to him, and the sudden feeling of being claimed, taken and cared for was overwhelming, making his cock twitch and leak against his belly. Cas’s eye caught the movement, but he simply sped up, shifting Dean’s hips around until-

“Oh god!” Dean cried as Cas thrust into his prostate and lightening rocketed through him, waves of pleasure threatening to pull him under as he helplessly watched Cas pound into him, lower lip bitten into in concentration, his blue eyes flickering between Dean’s face, his swollen, leaking cock, and where he slipped in and out of Dean, seemingly fascinated by his puffy red hole. Dean was incoherent, watching Cas watching him, knowing Cas was taking in every detail, committing him to memory, to maybe paint him in just this position later. Dean shuddered and came hard at the thought of Cas painting him that way, his hole clamping down, milking Cas, making him shout and fall forward, thrusting unevenly a few more times and Dean felt liquid hotness inside him, which dribbled out as Cas fucked him through his orgasm. Cas stilled and carefully collapsed on Dean’s chest, into his cooling come, breathing hot on his still hard nipple. Dean moved his shaking legs around Cas’s back again, holding him there, wrapping his arms tightly around the man, grateful that Cas couldn’t see his face and the tears that had managed to escape. Cas’s softening cock slipped out, along with more of his come and lube, which was a little unpleasant, but a reminder of what just happened. Dean still held him tightly, trying desperately to wrangle in his emotions. He had never felt anything like that in his life.

Sex with Lisa had always been good; Dean took control, worked hard to satisfy her and rarely asked for anything back. She reciprocated, and it was nice, but Dean felt it was more of a performance than anything. He had always assumed the role of director- not controlling per se, but leading the encounter- changing positions, asking what his partner needed, setting the pace. 

But what just happened with Cas was so different, so rare. Dean was taken care of, he was given the opportunity to just feel pleasure. It was a bit overwhelming, being penetrated. Cas had been inside him. They had been physically joined, and Cas had made him come untouched, just by penetrating him. He swallowed a bit loudly, and Cas pulled back to see his face, concern in his post-coital haze. 

“Dean, are you alright?” Cas ran a thumb along Dean’s cheekbone and leaned down to kiss his swollen lips. Dean nodded, not trusting his voice not to crack. Cas continued to pepper his face with soft kisses, the sweetness causing the emotion to finally bubble over without permission, and Dean let out a choked sob. 

Cas froze. “Did I hurt you?” He asked anxiously, his eyes searching Dean’s for clues. Dean blinked tears out of his eyes, letting them make tracks to his ears as he searched to explain to Cas what he was feeling without spooking him again. 

Fear suddenly made Dean’s stomach plunge. What if Cas left him again? What if it was just too intense for him? How would Dean survive it? 

But Cas was pulling him into a sitting position, Dean in his lap so he could return the embrace and kiss his neck in that gentle way. “It’s okay, Dean, it’s okay,” he whispered between kisses, “I’m not leaving, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Dean sniffed, feeling like a little kid, needing the reassurances, needing to know he was safe. Cas was rubbing his back with light fingers, soothing Dean’s fears and rocking him slightly.

“Dean?” Cas pulled back and looked him in the eyes again. Dean felt flayed open. 

“Yeah,” he managed to croak out.

“I don’t want to be scared of this anymore. I want this. I want this so bad, when I think about not having this, I feel sick. I thought about what you said about not being able to ever just be friends. I...I think I understand it now. It’s like I….” He paused, his brows furrowing in concentration. Dean reached up absently and smoothed away the line. Cas smiled at him, and it was like the sunlight touching him, lighting him up on the inside. A small smile, but one only for him. 

“It’s like I understand that there’s no going back, but that’s okay, because i don’t want to go back. I wouldn’t want to go back even if it were an option. Because I wouldn’t be able to let go of how I feel about you now. You feel like...home to me. I don’t think I ever had that feeling before. And I’m not scared anymore.”

Dean blinked, processing everything. “Cas…” He swallowed. “I know it freaked you out when I said...um- the thing I said, but,” he ducked his head, unable to meet Cas’s eyes. “But I feel it even more now. The thing I said,” he repeated.

Cas tipped his head up to meet his eyes again. “I’m not scared and you can say it and I’m going to stay right here. I might not say it back- I don’t know how to do that just yet, but know I’m excited more than scared and I just, you know, want you to know I want you to feel that for me. So very much.”

Relief flooded through Dean and his chest unclenched and he took in a deep shuddering breath. “I love you, Cas,” he said without hesitation. “I love you, and I want to be with only you, can you do that? Say you want to be with only me?”

Cas chuckled as a beautiful pink flush tinted his cheeks and his eyes lit and glowed. “Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Dean pulled him in for another kiss, and it deepened quickly, heated in a different way than the desperation of earlier. They pressed closer together, Cas’s half-hard cock nestling in the crease of Dean’s ass, still slick, and growing harder by the second. The head caught on Dean’s still sensitive stretched hole, and blood shot southward, his erection rubbing against Cas’s stomach. He groaned into Cas’s mouth. “Fuck, Cas, you have no idea how good it feels to have you inside me, fucking me, fuck,” he babbled, reaching behind himself and pushing the head of Cas’s dick against his hole again, pushing it in with fingers, desperate to be filled again. Cas groaned and let Dean rise up, reposition, and spear himself onto Cas’s now fully hard cock and grind his hips down, gasping at the drag. Cas was mostly dry, but Dean was still leaking come and lube, and he shivered as the wetness spread around, salving the roughness with slickness as he rode Cas. Cas threw his head back and groaned, grasping Dean’s ass cheeks, spreading them and guiding Dean while fucking up into him with small snaps of his hips, seeming to go deeper at every thrust. Dean was struck by the freedom of passing the reigns to Cas again, and he was soon a panting mess, writhing on Cas’s cock, arching his back, feeling every inch of it as it slid in and out. He released one of Cas’s shoulders and started jacking himself in time with the pounding thrusts. Cas growled, as if he wanted to be the one to do that, but he kept his hands firmly squeezing Dean’s ass, spreading him as wide as possible and angling to drag against his prostate. Dean closed his eyes and let go of his own cock and helplessly held on as Cas fucked into his prostate, triggering a second, mind-blowing orgasm, hard enough to feel like he almost blacked out, distantly feeling Cas’s own release fill him and leak out instantly as Cas gave a few more shortened, wobbly thrusts. Dean was leaning heavily on Cas, trying to get his breath back, letting the pulsing warmth that ran through him naturally die down. He felt the tips of Cas’s fingers beneath him, carefully probing his hole, gently pulling out the rest of the way, his thumb tracing the edge of his over-sensitive rim. Dean jerked at the sensation and giggled into Cas’s hair, burying his face in the campfire-smelling riot of dark locks. They kissed again. Lazy and slow, savoring the feeling. 

Cas sorted out their clothing, wincing at the fact both their uniform shirts had come and lube on them, and rummaging for extra tee shirts in his and Dean’s backpacks. Dean just lay there, floppy, wondering if he could skip ropes that week and just hang out in the art barn and get fucked all day. Cas chuckled at the idea and pointed out that it might conflict with the crafts he had scheduled. Dean moaned, complaining that it would probably be the weekend before they got time alone again. Cas teased him and shot that special, just-for-Dean smile, and it was just so good, so damn easy. They stood by the door and made out a little before Dean left to walk back to BTB. 

“Oh, shit,” Cas said frowning, “I forgot a flashlight again.”

Dean smiled and handed his over. “I can make it without it, since I’m not drunk and all.”

Cas’s smile turned into a leer. “And somehow I find your navigation skills so fucking sexy.”

Dean laughed and gave him one last kiss. “In that case, keep the flashlight; looks like I’ll have to muddle through without.”

He looked back at Cas’s silhouette in the doorway twice as he headed into the dark of the road. Walking was a little weird. He knew the familiar “I just had sex and my muscles in weird places are bandy and stretched out” feeling, but this was different. It was like he could still feel Cas inside him. He definitely needed a shower before heading back to bed. He didn’t want to stink up the cabin with sex smell. He took the right turn to the shower house, and took a quick one, using all of Cas’s stuff. His cock barely twitched at the smell of Cas’s shampoo, and he laughed internally. No way he could get off again after all that. He’d probably be good for the week. He felt his hole, it seemed uninjured, and washed himself, relishing the memories of Cas’s expression as he watched himself slide in and out of Dean stretched around him. Of Cas’s expression when he came inside him. Of his expression when he said he wasn’t scared anymore. Dean grinned to himself goofily as he rinsed away the soap. He was so in love with that guy, it was stupid. He hoped one day Cas would figure out how to say it back.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! Continuity errors!!! Damn my lazy ways. I think the Novak sister's name changed halfway through, and I had to go back and check facts in my own fic cause my memory's shit. Oops. And damn my over-eagerness for posting without editing. I messed up you're and your!!!!! The biggest sin of all!!!!
> 
> It's all good. I love you guys and here's a bunch of porny smut and dangerous natural disaster stuff. 
> 
> *also* I would like to state that I know absolutely nothing about South Dakota or Kansas, and everything in this fic is probably wrong. Apologies.

The rain started early monday morning when Cas was taking his usual detour to the art barn for coffee. It was steady- not too hard- and he was grateful he had thought to stick his poncho in his backpack the day before. The smell of coffee hit him and a goofy smile broke over his face. Dean was there early and life was starting to make sense again.

Dean was leaning against the countertop, mug in hand, looking like sex on a fucking stick. He looked up and caught Cas’s eyes, and the warmth he saw made his chest flutter in a different way. He looked so hopeful, so gentle, and Cas went straight to him and kissed his lips and took him in a strong embrace. Dean chuckled in surprise and tucked his face into Cas’s neck and inhaled. 

They kissed again, still only sweet, before Cas finally spoke. “How do you feel this morning?”

Dean grinned and shifted against the countertop. “Sore, but it’s like a good...sore. And happy.”

Cas couldn’t help but pull him tightly for another kiss, this one growing a little heated, but they pulled back in silent agreement to hold off, since time was limited. 

“The rain’s supposed to keep going well into tomorrow,” Dean said, pouring Cas a cup of coffee, “if it doesn’t slow down at least a few hours, the creek’ll swell and we might have a flood on our hands.”

Cas took the cup and sighed at the first sip. Dean always got it just perfect. “What does that mean?”

“It means we’ll have to evacuate the campers and shut down all the units. It hasn’t happened since I was a kid, but the way Jody was talking, the radar shows a huge bank of slow-moving rain clouds. We have to prepare for it.”

Cas grew concerned. He’d never been in a flood before. “What should I do down here?” He asked.

Dean shrugged. “Not sure. You’re kinda close to the Cedar Creek, by way of the little creek behind the barn. The road is a low spot, so… Maybe put some stuff in the loft? I hope it doesn’t get that bad, but better safe than sorry. And when you leave, hit the breaker to turn the power off.”

Cas nodded and sipped his coffee, listening to the rain, wondering how something so peaceful could bring such chaos. It didn’t seem possible. 

After breakfast, he would come back down and put the supplies he wasn’t using that day into the loft. There was a group of campers that signed up for art camp that week, and they were old enough to help him get it sorted. And Jess would be by later to help out as well. 

They walked up to the Red Barn, Dean teasing Cas about his rain poncho (he said it might as well be a trash bag, then offered to let him use his backup one), and Cas teasing Dean about having to stand up all day due to his tinder booty. It was nice. Charlie and Anna had the little kids lined up, all of them decked out in rubber boots and yellow raincoats, so they walked with them, singing a song about rain as they went. Cas grinned at Anna. She shared a secret smile back, which grew as she flicked her eyes over to Charlie. 

Dean ended up stopping by a few times during the day, since ropes was closed. Word got around that he had a coffee pot, so Vic even came by, and after much deliberation, he and Dean managed a rope-and-pulley system to raise the new kiln and put it in the loft. It was then that Cas suddenly realized the seriousness of the situation. They were talking like it was going to get worse overnight, and the creek had already started to rise.

By suppertime, Jody had started calling parents to come get their kids. There were only 6 kids whose parents couldn’t come and get them, and they would be taken to a hotel near town for the night that had a generator and was on a hill. 

The sun could have already set, but it was hard to tell at 7pm, with the clouds being so dark. The creek had risen when they were mid-evacuation, and they ended up employing a couple of canoes to get the rest of the luggage over, and then the remaining counselors. The entire staff was soaked to the bone, and Jody volunteered her and Donna’s house in town for refuge for the night and they sent several people over before the bridge was completely submerged. 

Dean was staying behind to help Meg and her father with getting the horses to higher ground. It was as simple as releasing them into the far field, but they’d need to be fed the next day, and that was pretty daunting for just two people. 

Cas decided he was staying too.

“Cas, look, I appreciate you wanting to stay and help out and everything, but we got this. You need to be across the creek and on the van in ten minutes.”

They’d been arguing for ten minutes already, and Cas was planning on showing Dean exactly how stubborn he could be. 

“Sorry, Dean, I told Sam I’d keep an eye on you, and you better believe I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight.”

Dean shook his head, grimacing. Using Sam like that was low, but Cas refused to leave and did what he had to do.

“Fine!” he growled. Cas grinned and squeezed his hand. So far it had all been like a big adventure. He was ready for whatever, as long as he stuck by Dean. 

They took the last load of staff over the flooded bridge and ran down to the horse barn to give Meg and Luke a hand. Benny had lent Cas some of his authentic Marines gear- his kevlar-lined hoodie, his camo poncho, his rubber duck boots, and even his brimmed hat that kept the rain running down the back of the poncho. He was relatively dry considering what they were walking around in, opening gates to the paddock, sloshing through the waterlogged fields and directing the horses from the ground. Dean was similarly outfitted, and they were quickly finished, leaving Meg and her dad to retreat to the top of the horse barn where Luke’s office was. She assured them that they were well-stocked and had a few walkie talkies and spare batteries, along with a weather radio and CB radio. They had a motorboat they could take to the far fields or main camp, and Cas still found it near impossible to believe that the water could get high enough to strand them there.

The electricity went out as soon as the sun went down. The valley was plunged into darkness, and Cas could see a spark of light far in the distance coming from the top of the horse barn. The water level was nearly to the Red Barn itself, and finding higher ground was now a necessity. 

Dean and Cas stood on the porch of the cabin near the pool where Jody and Donna stayed. The original plan was to sleep there and try to take stock of the damage in the morning. It was starting to look like a bad idea.

“We need to go higher,” Dean said, stating the obvious, mostly to himself. Cas was unsure if Dean was angry with him for staying, or just worried about the damage the flood was sure to cause. This camp was his home, and seeing his home be destroyed before his eyes had to be unbearable. Cas put a reassuring hand on Dean’s bicep and turned him firmly.

“We should go to Hilltop. The unit house in enclosed, right? And it’s the highest point in camp. We might get cell service from up there in the morning.”

Dean looked at Cas’s hand gripping him with worry clear in his eyes. He fully turned and wrapped his arms around Cas in a crushing embrace. “Cas, I want to be pissed that you stayed and aren’t with the others, safe, but honestly, I would be freaking out if I were by myself right now.” He motioned to the rain which had very little visibility. “This isn’t easy, and I…”

His voice faltered and Cas held him again. “It’s going to be okay, Dean, trust me.” Cas had no idea if what he was saying was true, but he really needed Dean to focus so they could get out of there soon. “We just need to get up the hill.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “We need to cut over to the pool, and there’s a path through the woods up to Forest Isle. From there we hit the gravel road and head to the top. It usually takes about 20 minutes, but it’s hard to say how long it will take in this mess. And I’m not sure how waterproof my flashlight is.”

Cas nodded and ducked into the cabin, going to the kitchenette. After a quick search, he found large zip lock plastic bags. He grabbed one, thought again, and grabbed the rest, stuffing a couple into his backpack and placing the rest on the table. Dean had followed him, shining the light and smiled when Cas put his own flashlight into a bag, zipping it tight, and then rummaged for his cell phone, a pair of socks and underwear, and the cassette tape Dean made him and put it in another. Dean followed suit, even stopping to grab a few large garbage bags and the long grill lighter. Cas raided the fridge, grabbing lunch meat and cheese, opting for crackers instead of bread, since that would get squished in his pack. Dean grabbed bottled water and a bunch of cans from the pantry. Cas watched, realizing they really had no idea how long they would be stuck there.

The radio suddenly squawked at Dean’s hip, as well as the radio plugged in on the counter. They both startled and Dean pulled it out and waited.

“This is Meg down at Equine, just checking on you two little ducks, how ya doing? Over.”

Dean smiled and hit the button. “Just fine, headed up to the unit house on Hilltop. Over.”

“Was gonna suggest that, good thinkin’. Take provisions and be careful on that road. Dad says it turns into a river in the rain like this- stick to the woods, okay? Over.”

“Thanks, Meg, we were grabbing some stuff right now. You two going to be okay over there?”

There was a pause.

“Yeah, about that, Dad got a message out to his old Amy buddies and they’re going to bring in a helicopter and fly us out of here in the next hour or so. Over.”

Dean’s eyebrows were at his hairline. “That bad, huh? You think we’ll be fine on the ridge? Over.”

“Dad says yeah. He’s worried about the stables below us being hit with floating debris. It could collapse. But it’s fine right now, and the water won’t crest until around noon tomorrow. Over.”

There was a silence. Cas knew Dean wouldn’t abandon the camp for any reason. 

Dean hit the button again. “Okay, 10-4, hollar when the chopper comes...if you can. The radio might not be reachable up at Hilltop, so I guess good luck and over and out.” He looked concerned. 

“Dean? Try your phone in the morning. We’ll come back for you when the rain stops. Leave your walkies on. Be safe, okay? Over and out.”

Dean’s eyes flicked over to the fully charged radio on the counter. Cas grabbed it and turned it off to reserve the battery and put it in another zip lock. Dean nodded and tucked his in there too. 

Cas pulled his hat back on, covering the hood of the poncho. Dean did the same and they headed out the back door. The rain looked like a sheet of water as it rolled off the roof. Dean glanced back at Cas, a smile finally lighting his features. 

“To be honest, I’m really glad Meg and Luke and headed out. You ready?”

Adrenalin flooded Cas’s system for the hundredth time that night and he gave a short nod and what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Dean reached out and pulled him in for a quick kiss. It was light, a promise, and Cas savored that second before it was quickly over.

“Stay close to me. If you feel like you’re going to fall, squat or sit down and don’t pinwheel your arms. Better to slide on your butt than tumble into a tree. Let’s go.” Dean turned his light and headed out into the water.

Cas quickly followed, taken by surprise at the extra weight added by the pounding rain, causing him to stagger slightly before bending his knees slightly and getting his balance. Dean grabbed his hand, and much to Cas’s relief, held on as they walked through the swamped grass over to the pool. 

The pool itself was overfilled, and frogs were jumping around in it, happily chirping over the rain. They carefully made their way around the chainlink fence, letting go of their clasped hands to grip the links and wade through the rush of water coming down the hill. Cas thought he heard Dean whistle lowly in the thundering sound of the rain. Cas looked up, holding on tightly to the fence, to where Dean’s flashlight was pointed.

His stomach fluttered up to his throat. There were trees down on the side of the hill, presumably from where the water had washed away dirt holding their roots in. A creek had been cut into the hill- Cas could sort of see the path that they needed to take. Dean reached for his hand again, holding tight and they stepped up on uneven muddy slippery ground together. The leaves that hadn’t been swept away were even worse; getting a good foothold was daunting, but they took it one careful step at a time. At least the canopy of the trees broke up the intense feeling of heaviness the pounding rain caused. 

About halfway up, a nasty smell hit them. Dean nearly gagged and turned to Cas, suddenly laughing a little hysterically.

“The latrines-” he gasped, hooking an arm around a sapling to keep from sliding into Cas. “They’re overflowing!”

Cas barked out a laugh and soon they had the giggles, clutching each other on the steep slope. The tension broke a little and with a smile, Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and continued up the hill.

The tents looked like they were all in one piece, which was good news, and they stopped in the unit house for a quick rest. Cas could clearly see why spending the night there would be dangerous- the gravel road bed had turned into a swift-moving creek, and the unit house and tents were on a slope, which could be washed downhill. The force of the rain alone was something Cas had never experienced. The beauty of nature he had become accustomed to had given way to an uncontrollable beast that was fearsome and cruel. He felt the first small spike of fear penetrate his adrenaline-infused body, and he looked to Dean for the cue to move on.

Dean was peering out the screen door into the darkness. The road was slightly visible without a flashlight; somewhere above the dense mass of clouds was a half moon, and it was bright enough to illuminate the clouds, and then the ground. It was faint beyond the pouring rain,, but visible.

“We’re going to need both hands,” Dean said firmly. “We’re going to have to go without a flashlight. It’s either that or risk being swept down the hill.”

Cas gaped at him, blinking. Dean smiled and pulled him into a quick hug. “Don’t worry, Cas, I got you, okay? We’ll be fine.”

Cas shook his head, feeling guilt seep in. “If it wasn’t for me being stubborn instead of listening to you, you’d probably be rescued with Meg by now.”

Dean pushed his cold, wet nose behind Cas’s ear and planted a kiss on his neck. Cas shivered, maybe from the cold, maybe from something else. He caught Dean’s lips when he pulled back. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t do that, okay? It’s fine. It’s like an adventure, right? I bet those Havard boys never took you up a mountain in flood conditions just to get their mouth on your dick.”

Cas laughed, incredulously. “Seriously? You have a one-track mind, Jesus. This kind of thing doing it for you?” He pushed his hips against Dean’s for a moment, feeling hardness against his thigh in response. Dean grinned in a way that ought to be illegal. But he pulled back and put his flashlight away and waited for Cas to do the same. Cas felt a little more calm. He trusted Dean more than anyone else he had ever met- if anyone could get them up the mountain, it was him. 

They stepped back out into the fray. Dean kept them walking the edge of the road, using small trees to pull them along. He had grabbed Cas’s hand, and kept them joined as they picked their way carefully along the edge of the road. Cas was surprised how quickly his eyes adjusted, and glad to have Dean in hand instead of the flashlight. The tight beam of light swinging around the darkness had been more disorienting than he had realized- one he could see the outlines of trees in the dim, the ground felt more stable and his stomach quit clenching. 

They reached the end of the unit pretty quickly, and Dean stopped short in front of him. Cas nearly ran into him, but grabbed a tree instead and peered around him.

The water had cut a deep gash into the side of the hill to the left, and that seemed to be where the entire mountain was draining its rainfall to the road. Beyond the gash, the road looked clear for the most part. There was a small gully to the left of the gravel, but they’d be able to walk without fear of being swept away. 

But, of course, the water had washed away a chunk of the road, and they’d have to cross somehow. Cas swallowed and tightened his grip on Dean, his stomach roiling again. Dean turned and shouted over the rain.

“It’s fine, I promise. You just go first, okay, without your pack. And then I’ll toss you your backpack, then mine. Then I’ll cross. Got it?”

Cas nodded and tried to hide a grimace. This was so not good. Because it was one thing to trust Dean, the expert, to get them across, but another thing to catch backpacks and then Dean. 

“Cas, what’s wrong?”

“Why do I have to go first?” Cas could hear the whine in his voice, but didn’t care.

Dean chuckled and grabbed his other hand. “No offence, Cas, but I’m not sure you can chuck these across, they’re pretty heavy. But you can catch them, I’m sure.”

Cas lifted an eyebrow. “But I thought you were the catcher in this relationship.”

Dean’s smile almost split his face as he threw his head back and laughed, then sputtering when the rain hit him. He shook his head. “We’ll see about that.”

Cas shuddered in spite of the situation. He and Dean had never talked about the possibility of him bottoming. He honestly had only ever fucked himself with a dildo, and his one-night stands always ended up wanting him to top. Dean took his pack from his shoulders under his poncho and eased it into one of the black garbage bags he had picked up in Jody’s kitchen. Cas smirked at his clever boyfriend. Maybe if Dean trusted him to be able to get across first and catch the bags, he could trust himself to do it. He had accomplished so much in only a few weeks, why not?

After his pack was bagged up too, Cas stepped carefully around Dean, his toes to the edge of the rock. He estimated about a three-foot gap; it really wasn’t too bad. Though he could see how jumping with the heavy pack would be stupid. The water was deafening there- and a boulder had loosened and rerouted the water to the road. The gravel beyond was almost flat and looked so welcoming, that was all it took for Cas to let go of Dean and jump. He landed almost gracefully, and had to keep himself from jumping up and down in victory- he had to get Dean across first.

Dean tossed his pack. It hit Cas in the chest, nearly knocking him over. Yeah Dean’s backpack was way heavier than his; it had to be all the canned food. He caught his own pack next. Then he stood out of the way so Dean could jump across. He landed funny though, really close to the edge, so he threw himself forward and landed on his palms on the road. Cas pried his heart out of his throat long enough to pull him up and ask if he was okay. Dean was fine- he had just slid on the gravel. But Cas could see he was white as a sheet. There was something reassuring about Dean being as scared as he was. That it was okay to be frightened. It was a frightening situation they were in.

After a few limping steps, Dean threw the garbage bag over his shoulder and Cas did likewise. They trudged ahead through the pouring rain. It seemed somehow calmer atop the mountain, removed from the chaos below. There were a few puddles gathered here and there, but for the most part, the rain was simply running downward, and the ground was flat up there. 

The tents appeared out of the gloom, and Cas nearly collapsed with relief. The unit house had a few smaller branches that had fallen on the porch, but it was unharmed. They stomped up the steps, suddenly exhausted. Dean pulled open the door and they both dropped their bags and slumped to the floor, panting.

Cas looked around. This unit house was fully enclosed, and all the windows had been closed, so it was nice and dry. It was one long room, like the one at BTB, with a fireplace and a closet at one end, and a few tables with benches against the wall. He nearly fell over when Dean pointed at a large stack of firewood on the opposite wall. Thank god. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that they might not be able to find dry wood, and truth be told, he was pretty damp and cold, even in all of Benny’s fancy gear. 

Dean was already shedding layers, starting with boots. Cas did the same, and just getting the cold clothing off his sweating body felt better. Like he could breathe better. Dean started gathering logs.

“It was supposed to be the night the campers make their own supper, remember?” Cas nodded. “So I had just stocked all the units with wood knowing it might rain. High five, past me!” Dean gave himself a tired high five. Cas smiled. He loved that man so much.

He froze. Was this an appropriate time to tell him? Maybe he should have told him already- say, before they had almost just died trying to climb a mountain in the flood? He stepped forward, without any more thought, before he could chicken out.

“I love you,” he blurted awkwardly.

Dean was digging his flashlight out of his bag and his head snapped up. Cas couldn’t see the expression on his face, and he wished desperately for him to come closer, because Cas seemed to be frozen to the floor. Dean carefully set the flashlight down and padded in bare feet back to where Cas stood, still sort of dripping. Dean placed his hands gently but firmly on either side of Cas’s face and claimed his mouth. The kiss was strong and deep, and he felt Dean pour all the response he needed into it. Cas dug his fingers under the edge of Dean’s shirt and he yelped and jumped back when Cas’s icy fingers touched his skin.

They broke apart, giggling. “I need to get a fire started and warm you up,” Dean said, kissing the tip of Cas’s nose with warm lips. He tossed his flashlight to Cas. “Check the closet for newspaper or something to get this started.”

Cas opened the small door in the wall and took a quick inventory. There was a plastic bin with a snap on lid, a brown paper bag full of newspapers, various cooking pots and utensils, a lidless shoebox full of half-melted candles he recognized as coming from the art barn, and a few coffee cans and boxes of matches. He grabbed the newspaper and matches and a handful of candles. After a second thought, he grabbed the cans and returned to the fireplace where Dean was stacking logs like a 4 sided log cabin. Cas had seen him do this at the bonfire, and knew it would catch and burn quickly. He handed Dean balled-up pages of newspaper and soon Dean had a fire going. Cas busied himself by lighting a few candles and putting them in the bottoms of the cans. Dean smiled in approval at his fire safety and went to the closet. 

“Jackpot!” he cried, pulling the plastic bin out. Dean took several rough-looking moving blankets out and shook the dust out. They looked pretty clean and Dean spread them on the floor in front of the fire. Cas hadn’t even thought about blankets. Thank God for Dean Winchester. 

Soon they were down to dry tee shirts and boxers, huddled together in front of the fire with a blanket over their shoulders, eating cheese and crackers. Cas was half dead, his eyes drooping and his hand pausing halfway to his mouth. He blinked too long and was asleep. 

He awoke some time later, Dean curled around his back, on the floor, facing the fire. It was still burning red coals, but they’d need to add a log to keep it going until morning. He looked back at Dean- he was still sleeping- and slipped out of his arms and over to the wood pile. His muscles ached, and he needed water. He put the log on the fire and rummaged for a couple of bottles of water and brought them over to the makeshift palate where Dean lay. Dean had rolled onto his back, his legs splayed out in his sleep, taking up all the space Cas had just be occupying. Cas lifted an eyebrow. He wondered how Dean would feel about being woken up by a blowjob. There was only one way to find out.

Not really trying to keep from waking him (he really didn’t want Dean to miss it), he pulled open the covers and straddled his thighs and pulled the blanket back over his head. Dean grunted and wiggled slightly. His hands came down and he lazily ran his fingers through Cas’s hair and hummed. Cas lay his face on Dean’s hip and traced the outline of his cock through his boxer briefs, teasing it into hardness. Dean chuckled lowly above him and his hips lifted, trying to get more pressure. Cas continued to teased along his shaft with gentle fingers, moving down to caress his balls and stroke back over the tip. A small wet patch was forming, and Dean moaned, trying to spread his legs. Cas held them firmly together and finally moved to suck at the fabric covering Dean’s tip. Dean shuddered and jostled cas, impatiently pulling his boxers off. Cas laughed and let him, removing his as well. The blanket fell to the side, allowing Cas to sit up and pull both their shirts off. Dean ran his fingers up and down Cas’s sides, touching every part of him he could reach. Cas moved up Dean’s legs until the crease of his ass was aligned with Dean’s hardened cock, and he thrust, grinding down, showing his intentions. Dean gasped and grappled for Cas’s thighs, but Cas jumped off and went for his pack, finding the lube quickly and returning to Dean’s side. He considered a moment, then remained perpendicular to Dean, taking his cock into his mouth right away, sucking down hurriedly, licking around his balls and swirling his tongue around the head. Dean was writhing around, stroking along Cas’s side with his left hand, unable to really reach anything. But that was okay, because he just wanted Dean to watch.

He angled himself a little closer to Dean’s head, sucking his cock down again. Dean was wide-eyed and his lips were slick with spit and red from biting. Cas couldn’t help but move up to steal a filthy open-mouth kiss before pausing to slick up his fingers on his right hand. His left hand went back to working Dean’s shaft while he continued to suck greedily. He loved the feel of Dean’s cock against his tongue, and his own cock twitched when he tasted a flood of precome. Dean turned to watch as Cas probed behind himself twitching his hips to the side further so Dean could watch as he slipped a finger in his hole, slowly and carefully. Dean whimpered and clutched at the blankets, watching as Cas worked himself open. Cas twisted his finger, pulling on his rim, getting used to the burn and strange but erotic feeling, and added a second. Dean was panting, nearly drooling, as Cas moaned around his cock and worked in a third finger. He was so tight. He thought about Dean’s giant cock being in there stretching him instead, and he shuddered, already on the edge. By the looks of it, Dean seemed pretty close himself. Cas sucked hard one last time, and popped of Dean, pressing his tongue one last time to catch the delicious salty bitter precome that dribbled out. Dean wasn’t making coherent sounds, mostly whimpers, as Cas pulled his fingers out slowly and put more lube on them, spreading it first around his hole again, dipping in a finger or two again, just to hear Dean gasp and thrust his hips up at nothing. Finally he slathered the rest of the dripping lube on Dean’s cock and moved to straddle him again. He knelt on one knee,the other foot planted on the floor so Dean could see, and pressed Dean’s cock to his entrance and rubbed it in small circles, his breath catching as Dean so clearly fought to keep his hips on the floor. Slowly, Cas lowered himself, increasing the pressure on his rim, still holding Dean still and firm, and pushed in. Dean’s cock breached the tight muscles, and Cas had to slow to keep from clenching. Then he lowered himself further, loving the burn, as it slowly morphed to pleasure. Dean’s eyes were rolled to the back of his head, so Cas sat still until he regained his focus. Finally Dean looked up and Cas grinned wickedly as he purposefully clenched his muscles, making Dean moan and thrust up a little. Cas lifted himself up and slowly slid down, lowering his other knee down, spreading his legs more, going down deeper. He reached behind him and pulled Dean’s knees up, slightly changing the angle. He swiveled his hips, rose up and dropped down, feeling every inch of that enormous cock, not yet settling into a rhythm. He waited until Dean was looking back up at him, eyes sort of clear and he leaned down, almost touching lips, and whispered, “I’ve never done this before. I’ve always topped.” Dean sucked in a breath, his mouth gaping open. Cas took advantage and kissed him, sloppy and wet, rocking his hips and then lifting them and sliding back down. He felt the head of Dean’s cock drag against his prostate, sparking him and making him moan into Dean’s mouth. Dean grabbed his hips and found the angle again, thrusting up. Cas buried his face in Dean’s neck and allowed Dean to take over, thrusting slowly up over and over, hitting his prostate on every stroke. Cas wasn’t going to last much longer. He bit at Dean’s neck, moaning and whimpering, shaking with need. Dean sped up, holding Cas’s hips still and pounding up into him. 

“Cas,” he grunted, “Cas I’m close.” Cas nodded and propped up on his elbow, kissing him again, breathing him in. Cas reached out for his own straining erection, bobbing and rubbing between them. He pulled a few times, very lightly, and Dean thrusted up hard and fast. Cas was almost there, riding the edge. He felt Dean’s fingers bite into his skin as he cried out, losing rhythm. Dean’s face as he came was what pushed Cas over the edge, a burst of heat releasing inside him, come spurting across Dean’s chest almost to his chin, his hole clenching down on Dean, pulling cries of pleasure from him and he buried himself one last time into Cas, holding there as he rode out the last spasms of his orgasm. Cas looked down at the man below him, the one who made him question everything, the one who made him love him and smiled, trying to catch his breath. He felt words fighting to get out of him so he just said them again. 

“I love you so much, Dean.”

“Cas, I love you too.” He pulled Cas down for one more kiss, this one achingly tender, as if the words made it fragile. Cas lifted slightly and they both winced as Dean slipped from him and a bit of semen ran down Cas’s inner thigh. He ached pleasantly. 

“So you’ve never let anyone do that before?” Dean asked when their breathing calmed and they were cleaned up and spooning again (Cas made sure he was the big spoon that time. He just loved Dean’s round bottom against him).

Cas shook his head and sighed happily. “Nope, never had the occasion.”

“And what was the occasion, this time?” Cas could hear the smile in Dean’s voice.

Cas squeezed his side, making him laugh. “You know why. Guess I’m sentimental after all.”

“Well, I love it,” Dean said easily. “But I still want you to pound me into the floorboards later, okay?”

Cas laughed, burrowing closer and making sure they were touching skin all along his front and all along Dean’s back. He wiggled his hips, aligning his dick along Dean’s butt crack, causing him to wiggle back and laugh. They were entirely too worn out to actually get anything started, but it felt nice. Cas drifted off to sleep with his nose on the back of Dean’s neck and his arms around his middle.

 

********

Cas was boiling hot. He felt sticky and gross, and desperately needed a shower. He unwound himself from a still sleeping Dean and stood, stretching. His back cracked and he scratched at a patch of dried come on his abdomen. Gross. He stood naked in the middle of the room, sweat cooling on his skin, morning wood jutting out proudly, and wondered if the shower house worked up there. He walked to the door, still nude, and pushed open the screen door as quietly as possible. 

The light outside was dim, but definitely brighter than earlier. It had to be about dawn, and the rain had slowed down, but it still pattered softly on the rocky ground. He shrugged and peed off the porch, yawning and looking around. 

There was no evidence of the flood from up there. Everything looked business as usual. He decided to wake Dean and see if the showers worked. Maybe they could get all clean just to get all dirty again. His dick twitched at the thought, but the sort of chilly air was starting to register, so he went back in. Dean was sitting up, poking the fire from the floor. He turned and gave Cas a sleepy smile.

“Hey,” he said, the word being caught up in a yawn.

Cas smiled and went over to the backpacks, pulling out the radios and cell phones. Dean nodded in silent agreement as Cas set up the devices. His cell had a couple of bars, which was fantastic, but it was still barely 5am, so he thought they should wait another half hour to call out. Dean agreed.

They ended up in the shower house, fortunately the exodus was so fast that the campers had left all of their shower supplies and quite a few towels. It was surprisingly dry in there. Dean ran the water for a while and they looked for signs of contamination. Dean thought it was possible Hilltop was tapping into a well, and not connected to the camp plumbing. The crisp, almost arctic temperature was actually reassuring, and Dean could tell it was well water by the mineral taste and hard water stains on the shower floors. They giggled and showered together in the frigid water quickly, politely not commenting on the shrinkage the water caused. Cas felt like his dick would crawl up in his body if it could. 

They dressed and made plans. Dean cooked up some canned stew for breakfast, and they ate sitting shoulder to shoulder, the heat of Dean’s body a comfort.

Cas grabbed his phone and checked his weather app and checked in on facebook. He scrolled to Gabe and Anna’s postings, and they looked happy and warm in Jody and Donna’s cabin. He laughed and showed pics of Gabe pranking Michael in his sleep by putting his hand in warm water. Cas was almost sorry he missed Michael waking up in a puddle of piss, but he looked at Dean and was glad to be where he was. 

Dean looked up from cleaning the pot he cooked in and grinned. “What?”

Cas shrugged, smirking. “Nothing. Just thinking about my promise involving certain body parts and certain floorboards.”

Dean closed his eyes and bit his lip. He sighed deeply and dropped the pot with a clang, wiping his hands on his jeans. He grabbed Cas and pressed their bodies together firmly. “I still can’t believe I’m allowed to do this,” he murmured. Cas shut him up with a kiss, languid and sweet. He felt the moment Dean relinquished control to him, and it made him feel heady. He absolutely loved to take care of Dean.

“I’m going to make you scream so loud they’ll hear it in four counties,” he growled in Dean’s ear, making him laugh and shiver at the same time. They rid themselves of their clothing quickly and Cas pushed Dean to the ground on all fours and looked around for the lube. Dean found it first and handed it over his shoulder with a wink. He wiggled his hips. Cas ran a soothing hand along his spine and leaned over him, laying his cock, now fully hard, in the crease of his ass. Dean moaned softly and pushed back against him. He kissed Dean’s spine, moving down with each kiss, his hands gently massaging the globes of Dean’s ass. He spread the cheeks and blew a puff of air across the puckered skin. Dean trembled. Cas impulsively darted out his tongue to taste, making Dean yelp. 

“Is that okay?” Cas asked him, still rubbing his cheeks, spreading them further, his thumbs edging closer to his center. In response, Dean spread his legs and tipped his pelvis to bare himself to Cas’s greedy stare. He licked Dean again, sucking at his balls and reaching under to stroke lightly along his shaft. He pressed his tongue against Dean’s hole and felt it flutter under his lick. He moaned against Dean’s skin and pressed harder. He had never done this to anyone either, but he had seen plenty of rimming porn, so the objective was pretty clear. He ran his pointed tongue in circles, moving his thumbs in to press along his crack. He felt Dean’s muscles relax and he pushed the tip in a little. Dean shouted out, and shook. Cas sucked a thumb and pressed it in, licking the skin to keep Dean from clenching around it. Dean was doing so well, keeping still, taking his tongue and thumb so well. 

“Such a good boy,” Cas said absently between licks. Dean moaned and his asshole fluttered. He liked the praise? Interesting. Cas pushed his thumb in all the way, spit slicking the way and tried it again.

“Look at how well you're opening up for me. Such a good boy.” Dean shuddered and swayed on his knees, his arms collapsing and pillowing his face. He reached a hand down and pressed at the base of his cock. 

“Cas…” he whimpered. 

Cas grinned against his skin, licking and sucking a mark. His own erection was aching for attention. “Fuck, I need to get in that tight, wet hole right now, would you like that?”

Dean groaned and nodded. “Please Cas, just do it now, I don’t need any more prep.”

Cas hesitated. “You sure Dean? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Dean chuckled and twisted back to look at him in the eye. “I’ve very nearly fisted myself in the last week, I think I can handle it.”

Cas growled possessively, picturing Dean in the shower, four fingers buried in himself, panting and groaning. “I’ll make you pay for that.” He quickly squirted lube on his hand, slicking his dick in one motion.

Dean twitched an eyebrow and grinned, wiggling his ass. “Prove it.”

Cas yanked two handfuls of Dean’s ass, his fingers dimpling the firm flesh, and pushed his head against his hole, crying out at he entered Dean’s body, the tightness overwhelming. It was so hot- he had to pause so he didn’t come. He shook himself and rammed it home. Dean was already pushing back, moaning and cursing under his breath. Cas set a brutal pace, slamming into the man with force. 

“Do you like it, Dean?”

Dean could only moan in response.

“I sure like it,” Cas growled out, not really thinking, just talking words. “I love it, I just love it when I pound into your ass and make you all mine. You’re all mine, you know that, right?”

Dean moaned again.

Cas changed the angle, aiming for Dean’s prostate. He could tell when he found it by the noises Dean made. “You love it, baby, you love my hard cock in you, don’t you? Well I love fucking your tight little hole, it makes me feel complete, and I can’t get enough. I need you, Dean, I need all of you.” 

He reached around and fingered along the head of Dean’s cock, spreading the fluid around gently in contrast to to roughness of his thrusts. Dean whimpered and braced himself the best he could, spreading his legs to their limit. Cas’s orgasm was building swiftly, so he took pity and gave Dean a few firm strokes, and he came shouting Cas’s name, over and over, his hole pulsing and dragging Cas over the edge with an explosion of hot come inside Dean that seemed to go on forever. He laid himself across Dean’s back, pushing in and out slowly, riding out Dean’s orgasm until he stopped spasming. Cas sat back on his heels and pulled out slowly, smearing a last spurt of come around Dean’s hole and then pushing it back in, as if he couldn’t stand for a single drop to be anywhere else. Dean’s hole gaped and seemed to suck him back in. He repeated the process a couple of more times, and Dean would buck in sensitivity, but then push back to gave Cas leverage to do it again. It was so intimate for some reason, such a strange thing to turn so tender. He finally pulled back out and laid Dean down, wrapping him up in a blanket and his arms and grabbing him another bottle of water. 

Finally, Dean was coherent enough to blink and look up at Cas. “Do you understand now? Why I said I loved you that first time? You feel it too?”

Cas nodded and pulled him closer, kissing him gently all over the face. “Yeah,” he said when he was satisfied that he had kissed every spot on Dean’s sweaty face, “I understand now. I’m not as connected to my feelings like you are. But I was thinking about it, and…” he paused and looked down, blushing. “When you and I were in the shower, and you came, saying you love me, I uh, came when you said it. Like right then. I was trying to tell myself it was a coincidence, but I know it wasn’t. I wasn’t lying, I need you.”

Dean blinked and his eyes looked shiny. He looked away with a bashful smile. “I’m so glad you stayed behind with me.”

“Me too.” Cas stretched out next to him, basking in the afterglow. “We should probably make some phone calls, you think?”

Dean mumbled something, his eyes going shut again. Cas guessed a little nap wouldn’t hurt. He set has alarm for 30 minutes and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I started writing this before the Hurricane in Texas- I based it off the 2010 flood in Nashville and West TN, which I was right in the middle of. I have many friends in Texas from when I lived there in the late 90's, and it flooded in 02 (I think it was 02?), and let me tell you, there is nowhere for the water to go. TN has lots of rivers for the water to drain into, but TX is just so flat. Especially in Houston. If you're a Texan, I love you and stay safe. TN has a long history of being friends with TX, we will help as much as possible.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys! comment me, I loves it <3<3
> 
> Sorry for all the typos and crap editing. 
> 
> (*: see ya'll next time!

Dean stretched and rolled to face Cas, reaching over him to hit the alarm silencer. His back hurt and his knees felt like they had rug burn on them, and his ass hurt more than usual, but that was more his fault than anything. Over-eager, wanting Cas inside him before prepping enough. He clenched down, sending a shiver up his spine. He wondered if he should probably hold off for a few days not to aggravate the muscles, or exercise them a little more. That’s what he did after a strenuous workout, right? Stretching and lighter exercises… nothing too strenuous, right?

He watched Cas’s sleeping face. He looked so much younger, his usual crease between his brows was slack, and his lips were parted. Dean felt his chest clench in longing. Was this what it had been like for his parents? Did they just know? Dean knew. He knew he wanted to wake up like this every day for the rest of his life, and that thought was a comfort and not scary at all. 

But they hadn’t even talked about it yet. Cas hadn’t said what he was planning to do after camp was over. It was like they were in this little perfect bubble, a love shack in the woods, shielded from the real world. It was perfect and he wished it would never end...but what would happen when it did? Would Cas go back to school? Would he-

Cas smiled with his eyes still closed. “You’re thinking awfully loud,” he murmured sleepily.

Dean swallowed, hesitant to burst the bubble they had created. “I was um…”

Blue eyes popped open, and the crease appeared. Cas’s hand slid up to cup Dean’s chin firmly. “Dean, I’m not leaving, okay? Not again. Where you go, I go, okay? So stop worrying- oh shit!” Cas broke into a grin and he leaned and kissed Dean briefly. “I forgot- mostly because we were fucking on the floor in the art barn-” Dean shivered at the memory. “But I had news, remember? I decided I’m going to stick around and get my teaching degree. It shouldn’t take me more than a year, with my credits, and I could look for a position-” Dean cut him off by claiming his mouth and pulling his body flush to him. Cas moaned and pressed his hips forward, pushing a thigh between Dean’s. 

They broke apart to catch their breath, and Dean put a thumb against Cas’s plush lower lip. “Cas, I want that so much. I was hoping, maybe, if you want to, that is-” Cas sucked on the tip of Dean’s thumb, making him studder and gather his thought again. “I have to move out of Bobby and Rufus’ house in the next couple of years, but I want to do it at the end of the summer, and I want you to come with me.”

Cas surged forward and kissed him deeply. He pulled back panting. “Yes, of course, Dean. I want that too. I want to teach kids art year ‘round, I want to be here all summer with you and everyone. It feels right when I think about it. Like I can’t believe I was doing anything else before that.”

Dean smiled and hid his face in Cas’s neck. “I’m going to have a position at Rufus’s shop indefinitely, during the school year. We can share a bed, and you can fuck me every night, if you want to. Sounds like the perfect life to me.”

Cas rumbled his approval and ran his hands down Dean’s side, pulling Dean’s leg over his hip and running a hand down the length of his lower back and carefully feeling his puffy but still stretched rim. Dean shuddered and pushed back against his gentle touch.

“Damn, Dean, you just can’t get enough, can you?” Cas mumbled, gasping as Dean reached down between them and cupped his balls, rolling them, moving to stroke him to full hardness. “Are you sure? I mean, you have to be sore from earlier.”

Dean lifted up and kissed him again, rolling them so he was on top, straddling Cas. He rutted forward, Cas’s tip catching on his hole. It only took him rutting that way for a few seconds for him to catch Cas’s cock again and lift up to slip it inside himself slowly with a groan. Cas thrust upward, moaning and closing his eyes. Dean sat up and leaned back, leaning on Cas’s bent knees, his dripping cock bouncing with the motion. Cas thrust up slowly, biting his lip. He was staring at where his cock was disappearing into Dean’s body, his eyes possessive. Dean was panting and holding himself still so Cas could swivel and thrust, his pace still slow and forceful. Dean moaned low and long, his hole so sensitive that he could swear he felt every ridge and vein on Cas’s cock. A fluid mixture of lube and Cas’s come from earlier was easing the way, and it was just so dirty, so naughty, and he could see by the way Cas’s eyes were glued to it, that it was really turning him on. Dean toyed with his nipples and stroked his stomach, then reached back behind himself to touch Cas’s balls. Cas’s pupils were large and sweat was forming on his brow, but he kept up the maddeningly slow pace, swiveling his hips again, looking for Dean’s prostate. Dean smirked down at him, wondering if he should tell him that prostate stimulation wasn’t necessary- just the feeling of Cas buried inside him would get him off, no problem. Cas’s expression went feral, and he quickly flipped them until Dean was below him, legs in the air, wrists held down above his head, getting helplessly pounded into. Dean was lost in sensation, in a swirl of emotion and pleasure, the texture of Cas’s palms as he held him down, every inch of his cock sliding all the way out and then pushed all the way in again, Cas’s hand putting pressure on Dean’s cock to keep him from coming. It felt amazing, so good. Cas sped up, releasing Dean’s hands, but he kept them in place, letting Cas take his pleasure from his body until he felt him stiffen above him, thrust again and come inside Dean. Cas pulled out again, rubbing Dean’s hole with his cock like before, sending shivers up and down Dean’s body. He wanted to beg Cas to let him come, but all he could do was whimper as Cas pushed his come back inside Dean.

In one swift movement, Cas descended on Dean’s cock, sucking it down and simultaneously thrusting three fingers with and audible squelch into his leaking hole and twisting, pressing hard on his prostate, and sucking hard. Dean came violently, harder than he ever had before, his hips lifting, his vision going white, his ears ringing. Cas caught every spurt on his tongue and sucked every last drop before releasing him gently and sliding his fingers out. Dean had never felt so fucked out in his life. 

He came around to Cas laying propped up beside him, stroking his chest and whispering declarations of love mixed with promises to fuck him every day like that in his ear. Dean couldn’t move and didn’t care to. He felt so full and fuzzy and happy all he could manage was the occasional, “hmmm.”

********

Eventually they got around to showering again and responding to a barrage of texts. Fortunately, most cell towers were built on high ground, so they were able to do that when the circuits were busy with a flood of calls. It turned out that the helicopter guys had been rescuing people all night, and they planned to drop Meg and her dad back off at the camp sometime that afternoon.

Amazingly, the rain stopped completely and the sun had the nerve to show up, immediately making it unbearably humid, so they decided to hike down to the main camp and see how bad the damage was. They turned off Cas’s phone and left it, just in case Dean lost his, and put on rainboots and tee shirts. The tromped down the road, pausing to remove debris and looking down the side of the hill for a water level. They came to the missing piece of road, and Cas laughed at how non-threatening it looked with the water down to a trickle in the light of day. They hopped over it and splashed their way down the road. It had about 2 inches deep of water still rolling down it, but it was no longer threatening. 

Forest Isle still stood, although one tent had collapsed under the weight of a large tree branch. They couldn’t lift it themselves, so they left it for later. Dean made a mental list of what would need to be dealt with first, but the water level had to go all the way down before they could think about repairs. They strolled, side by side, chatting about what it would take to repair the camp, and decided to take the road all the way down to main camp. The gravel would most likely be in a giant pile at the bottom, and that could be redistributed with a dump truck when the time came.

Dean sucked in a breath and froze. He felt the surreality of the situation- the land before him and how different it looked. The water had risen to about four feet above the ground around the Red Barn. Jody had put everything they could from the office in the loft and left the doors open so the pressure wouldn’t build too high on the outside and break windows. The horse fields were a lake, and he could see the swinging bridge in the distance, hovering barely above the water. At least it hadn’t been swept away. Jam Hall was built on a raised foundation, like the cook’s cabin, and look relatively fine, just surrounded with water. The closer they got, the more damage they saw. 

The Singing Tree was split in half, the archery shed was nowhere to be seen, the flagpole had several of the metal cots wrapped around it, and the few staff cars that had to be left behind and not moved to Tree House, were underwater, the sad antenna of Cas’s gold Lincoln had a plastic bag stuck on it, waving gently in the wind. Cas gasped beside him.

Dean turned to offer his condolences about the car, when he saw the direction Cas was looking in. The stables were just gone. In their place was a flat, slowly moving lake, innocently glinting back the sun as if it belonged there. Dean shuddered out a breath and shifted.

“Oh, no wait- it’s just completely submerged,” he said pointing to a spot near the sun’s reflection where the roof was visible.

Cas was inches away, staring earnestly into his face. “Yes, Dean, but it’s underwater. What if they hadn’t gotten to Meg and Luke in time? What if you had been there with them? What if-”

Dean cut him off with a gentle kiss. “It’s okay, babe, everything’s fine, we made it. It’s over now.” He had seen this with Sam before when he was little. It was like a delayed-reaction panic attack. He continued to hold Cas and rock him until his breathing returned to normal.

“You think the art barn is okay?” he asked hopefully.

Dean smiled and moved him further to the right and pointed at the red tin roof, well above the water line. It looked about half underwater, which meant the Infirmary was probably screwed. Pine Hill looked barely flooded, which was good, because they would probably house the staff there- those who stayed to help clean up. He knew for sure BTB was underwater- all the creeks would drain quickly, but it was at the base of the HIlltop mountain, so it was definitely submerged. Whispering Oaks was either washed down the hill or totally fine, and Hogan was a toss-up. It was really close to Julie’s Hollow which was literally a floodplain. 

“Oh man,” Cas said, finding his car, finally. His shoulders sagged, then he shrugged, looking to Dean. “At least no one was in it. I guess it could be worse.”

“You’re taking it surprisingly well, considering there was a naked painting of me in the trunk.”

Cas nearly shrieked, clapping a hand over his eyes. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck…”

Dean rubbed his back, hoping it was soothing. “If it helps, I volunteer to lay naked on a rock for you to paint me again.”

Cas smiled a little and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I guess I could get on board with that. I have plenty of images in my head of you to keep me painting for years.”

Dean blushed and thought back to all the possible views Cas could paint of him. Pinned up against a tree, leaning against a shower wall, laid out on a tarp on the floor, spread over the floor in front of the fire, ass in the air, begging Cas to-

Cas shook him a little, bringing him back to the present with a little ass grope. Dean bit back a grimace. It still ached, but walking had really helped. But he really loved feeling like Cas was still inside him, hours later. He felt claimed. Like Cas had planted his flag.

He sighed and looked over the flooded land one more time before turning to Cas.

“Wanna get stoned?”

Cas burst out laughing. “Shouldn’t we be doing something more productive?”

Dean shrugged. “Unless you know a way to get the water level to lower faster, I’d say we should have a seat and watch. We won’t- or at least I hope we won’t- ever see anything like this again.”

Cas was already moving to a dry patch of grass, spreading out a hoodie and sitting down. Dean sat gingerly, Cas watching him with a smirk, and pulled out the bud that he bought off Ash that weekend. He carefully rolled a joint and handed it to Cas for the first hit. Cas lit it like a seasoned pro and inhaled deeply, blowing the smoke out over the water. The level was creeping toward them, but it seemed it was already slowing. It would probably crest within the hour, then start to recede. Dean took the offered joint from Cas and sighed. It was nice to sit with his boyfriend, sharing the moment. 

When the joint was gone, and Cas ran out of descriptive words to to tell Dean exactly what images he planned to paint of him, they started back up the hill. Dean had never blushed so hard at the word “testicles” in his life. He was hard in his pants just listening. They traded lazy handjobs, making out against a tree, and continued walking. The path to the pool looked mostly finished running water, and Dean knew he’d have to shock the pool, since the flooded latrines ran in that direction. He shuddered and took Cas’s hand, joining him in a loud rendition of You Can’t Get to Heaven on Roller Skates, and several other camp songs. They laughed and Dean felt lighter than he had in years. It could be the pot, but it was so much more. He had found his person. 

He was no longer sure if you were destined to just be with one person, or whatever, but it was no mistake that he and Cas met the way they did. He knew so soon after meeting him, that there was something about him, something perfect for Dean. They talked as they made their way back to Hilltop. Cas told Dean about his family, and how he was worried about getting disowned, but also not, because he had another family- one Anna and Gabe had been waiting for him to join all along. Dean told Cas about the fire, and only after a short pause, told him about hunting. How Dad went on a rampage trying to find the bond jumper that killed his mom, and how Bobby and Rufus saved him and Sam, giving them a normal life. Well, mostly normal, since Bobby still worked the phones helping other bounty hunters and would probably be ground control for eternity. It was more than he’d ever told anyone, and he only saw love and acceptance when he looked in Cas’s instead of horror and pity. 

They discussed getting an apartment, the pros and cons of dogs and cats, laughing as they entered the unit. They searched the tents and pulled all the mattresses out in the sun to dry. Dean had never been so happy to see one of those saggy spring cots and flimsy mattresses in his life. 

They walked back down after lunch and met up with Meg and Jody who were paddling around main camp with a second canoe tied to the back. Dean recognized them as canoes from the rental place up the road and tried not to be sad about losing all the ones in Julie’s Hollow to the flood. Cas and Dean took the second canoe; Dean sat in the back and laughed as Cas tried to learn strokes and ended up going in circles. He finally put his oar in the canoe and crossed his arms, pouting. Dean had mercy and did all the rowing himself. 

They drifted past the art barn; the water was high enough that they could see that they were level with the loft through the gaps in the boards- and Cas groaned when he saw the tape player floating, surrounded by a bunch of cassette tapes. Dean had seen how Cas kept the mixtape Dean made him on him. It made him stupidly happy for some reason.

They canoed down to BTB, smelling the sulfur stink of the flooded latrines. Dean griped and groaned about having to clean up the mess, but when they reached the unit, he was drowned out by peals of laughter. There were approximately 19 pairs of cheap satin panties draped over the roofs of the tents and staff cabin. Jody said they actually were helpful as they showed where the waterline had dropped already. At that rate, things would be back to normal (as normal as it would get) by Friday night or the following morning. Jody’s voice caught and she held back tears. Dean spoke up, reassuring her that the staff would come back and help, and they would survive the financial hit. 

The water was back down on Saturday, as Jody predicted, and they let the horses into the lower fields, hosing them off. They were muddy but fine, and Dean watched in amusement as Meg went around and spoke to every single one, reassuring them in quiet tones.

The staff came back in Saturday afternoon when the mud started to dry, and Cas and Dean finally had to leave Hilltop. Cas lamented as he dismantled their make-shift love nest, dragging Dean down for one last roll before they had to move to Pine Hill for reconstruction.

Surprisingly, all of the staff pitched in. Victor cleaned and shocked the pool himself, Zach and Michael repaired water damage in WO and Hogan, and Anna and Charlie helped Donna sort through the Infirmary. Cas borrowed Sam and Jess to help with the art barn (Dean suspected Cas was trying to get them to spend more time together), and by the end of the week the two were holding hands. Dean laid off the teasing; he was so happy for his little brother, he couldn’t make himself. 

They spent the third session repairing the camp, and after Gabe made a few phone calls he refused to talk about, donation checks started rolling in. Jody nearly had a heart attack when she saw the zeroes on the first check, but Gabe brushed it off saying it was a tax break for the donors. The construction would continue the rest of the season, much needed updates could be made to the Red Barn and kitchen.

Dean took Cas home before fourth session where the kids would return. He immediately became Rufus’s best friend in the kitchen when he helped prepare the meal and they talked at length about art history. Bobby had given Dean a gruff nod and even managed a half-smile for Cas, and that was practically permission to marry in Bobby’s book. 

Dean sat through supper with a goofy smile on his face. It was what he wanted his whole life, a partner that would just slide right into place in his family. He could have never predicted who it would be or how it would happen. But it felt right. 

Camp seemed to pass quicker than usual- he and Cas never had much time to steal away during the week, but they booked a local motel for the weekends and wore themselves out and cuddled watching DIY home improvement shows. For the first time in his life, Dean couldn’t wait for the winter. If it looked anything like their motel weekends, it would be perfect. 

*******

Epilogue:

 

Cas sneezed as he rolled up the flaps of the tent to air it out. He grabbed the broom and started sweeping, sighing happily at the familiar sound of Dean cursing under his breath while he fooled with the engine under the hood of Cas’s truck. It was always breaking down, but Cas was sure Dean secretly loved it. It was a little project. A small way he could take care of Cas.

The spring air wasn’t quite chilly, but then again, it was always a few degrees cooler back in Beech Tree Bend.

“Babe, you got any transmission fluid in the back?” 

Cas paused and put the broom down, jumping off the boardwalk and opening the passenger door. He pulled up the seat and retrieved a bottle of fluid and walked around to hand it off to Dean. 

“Thanks, Babe,” Dean said, wiping off his fingers on a rag. Cas leaned back against one of the beech trees and watched as boyfriend started the motor and checked the gauge before adding transmission fluid. Cas watched his ass with interest. There was a point when he would lean way toward the back, resting his stomach on the front end of the truck, its height making his boots leave the ground slightly. His jeans were pulled tight across his backside. Cas smirked. It was still an hour until supper, and no one besides them was on the grounds until then. 

 

He approached slowly, until he was standing directly behind Dean, not touching him yet. Dean leaned back to slide off the truck and fell right into his arms. He shouted in surprise and laughed as Cas’s hands wandered over his chest and thighs. Cas was already slightly hard, and he pressed forward to show Dean. Dean leaned his head back on Cas’s shoulder, going slightly limp. Cas nipped his ear, sucking lightly on his lobe. Dean spun, catching his lips in a searing kiss. 

“Seriously?” Dean asked, pulling back a little. Cas just smirked and walked him backward until his back hit the tree. Dean moaned, biting his lip. 

Cas growled in his ear. “Here? Against the tree where I made you come in my mouth?” Dean shuddered, his hands fisting in Cas’s shirt. “Or in the unit house, over a picnic table? How about over the hood of the truck?”

Dean opened his eyes and arched an eyebrow. “In the sun? You’d burn the skin right off my-”

Cas shut him up with a rough kiss, unbuckling his jeans. He thought about taking him over the hood of the truck anyway, but he knew better than to risk scalding Dean’s perfect freckled skin. He yanked Dean by the belt loops and lead him to the rear of the truck, where the back laid open. The metal was cool to the touch, vibrating as the motor idled, so Cas pressed him to lie back, legs dangling. 

Cas yanked his jeans down, revealing the black silk panties he bought Dean for his birthday. He gasped and ran his fingers along the thong as it disappeared up under Dean’s crotch. The wet tip of Dean’s cock protruded from the waistband and Cas ducked forward in the V of his legs and licked and sucked at it firmly, gently running his fingers over his silk-clad scrotum. Dean gasped and moaned, wriggling his hips and keeping his hands firmly stretched above his head, waiting for Cas to give him permission to touch. Cas squeezed his own erection, tight inside his jeans. He pulled the panties over to side to release Dean’s cock, it twitched and throbbed under his inspection. He blew air across it, then holding down Dean’s thighs, he sucked him down, no longer teasing, and deep throated him, sucking mercilessly. Dean cried out and held as still as he could, nearly sobbing. Cas bobbed fast and rough for about a minute, just to drag Dean to the edge. He suddenly pulled off, licking the precome off his lips and quickly manhandled Dean around until he was sprawled on his front over the tailgate, ass invitingly in the air, cock bobbing under the edge of the tailgate. Dean spread his legs as far as he could in the confines of the jeans and Cas reached to slowly pull the panties down. He would rip them off, but he had spent some money to get the exact right ones, and they just looked so delectable wrapped around Dean’s cock. Dean moaned as he was exposed to the warm spring air, and he turned to look back at Cas with hooded eyes. Cas smiled, pulling a bottle from his jeans pocket and quirking an eyebrow. Dean moaned and dropped his head back down on his folded arms. 

Cas unbuckled and opened his jeans, pulling out his hard cock and giving it a couple of strokes. He dripped lube on Dean’s tailbone, letting it run along his crack, still not touching. Dean gasped at the sensation of the warmed liquid, and flexed his ass, his hole winking up at Cas like a warm welcome. Cas rubbed Dean’s hole with the tip of his cock, spreading the lube, teasing, pressing. He considered prep, but Dean had taken a rather large plug just that morning, stretched and pink around it, so lovely sprawled out on their bed, while Cas rode his thick cock. He could still feel the ghost of Dean inside himself, his hole spasmed at the memory, and he had to shut his eyes. He rarely bottomed, but when he did, it unleashed something wild in him, something animalistic. 

With no further preamble, Cas shoved his cock into Dean in one fast, hard motion. Dean shouted, cursing, then moaning as Cas bottomed out. Cas pulled all the way out, holding Dean’s ass cheeks wide apart, and watched as the lube and precome dripped from his tip, and shoved his cock back in. He repeated this process, each time was like entering Dean for the first time, each time Dean would arch his hips, his hole seeming to suck Cas in further, deeper. Dean was making incoherent noises, and Cas’s loud grunts filled the echoing hollow. He wanted to show the world this was his, what he and Dean had was his, and if he had to fuck Dean over every surface in the entire camp to prove it, he would. Dean called his name, bringing him to the surface for a moment, and he laid over his love, gently kissing his neck and slowing his hips to angle toward Dean’s prostate. He muttered encouragement in Dean’s ear, dirty talk mixed with praise, mixed with endearments just the way Dean liked. Dean was whispering his name like a prayer, begging for release. Cas reached underneath them, firmly stroking Dean’s shaft, giving him release and making him come hard on the ground below, his hole clamping down and spasming around Cas’s cock so intensely, he lost his grip on Dean and came deep inside of him in waves, all his weight pressing Dean into the bed of the truck. Dean grunted at the weight, but continued to milk every drop of come from Cas by clenching around him. They panted heavily, and Cas sloppily kissed Dean, holding him by the neck and turning his face to lick into his mouth possessively. Dean grinned against his lips, knowing what was coming next. Cas got his feet back under himself and pulled out slowly, watching the come and lube dribble out, catching it with his fingers and pushing it back in with his still half-hard cock. Dean moaned and panted, too fucked out to move, his hole spasming and clenching around Cas’s fingers and dick. Cas worshiped Dean’s hole, pushing back in and rubbing the reddened swollen skin until he was too sensitive to continue. 

Cas looked around for a towel in the truck and turned off the engine. The sudden quiet in the hollow of Beech Tree Bend was peaceful, only interrupted by his own pulse in his ears. He walked back to clean up Dean and put him back together. Dean’s face was blissful and pink, smiling up at Cas angelically. Cas’s heart fluttered as he looked down at the man he loved, and he patted his pocket absently, making sure the two silver rings were still hidden there. He grinned down at Dean, allowing himself to be pulled in for a slow, tender kiss. 

He had everything he never knew he needed, and he intended to make it forever.

**Author's Note:**

> for PinkMink, just cause she loves tropes too. <3<3<3


End file.
